Bamboo Project Update: An Unexpected Gotchya Day

This week marks the travel and Gotchya Day for a new family to the Bamboo Project. In the adoption world, after x amount of months if one agency is not able to exclusively match a child with their forever family that child's file is placed on the Shared List. Any agency may have access to this child's file and advocate for their new forever. In theory, this is a great idea. The more exposure a child has the better chance they have for placement.  However, once a child is on the Shared List they can be lost to advocacy and follow up with a specific family can be difficult.  One of our original Bamboo Project boys was 'lost' to the Shared List many months ago. We have continued to advocate for him and had heard rumors that he had been matched with a good family, but did not have any access to further information. Until...I got a message this week from another Bamboo family:

"Met a girl on facebook tonight, who is adopting two kids with Ds this upcoming year From Jinan. I mentioned our group if she seeks us out"

 

 

She indeed sought us out without any knowledge of her son being a Bamboo child, of us believing for a new hope for this sweet boy, of us having prayed for her family for nearly two years.  Oh the joy when we figure it out!! God brings family & community together in the funniest of ways! This family was our missing piece.

 

So please join us as we continue to pray for this family. The are traveling from Maine to China today (that is a L-O-N-G flight) and retuning home in two weeks with TWO precious boys & their extra chromosomes. That's twice the chromosomal fun!!  They will be welcomed by five grown siblings, so you KNOW these sweet boys are going to be the absolute center of attention. *wink*  Pray for their hearts as they leave all that have known and become a new family. Pray for emotional & physical health. Pray for wisdom for their parents as they start their journey on the Down syndrome adoption road. Pray that the Lord is glorified as the Chinese people see yet another family pursing children who were declared unwanted and unloved...because THEY ARE OF HIGH VALUE!

A Father's Heart

(This is our Father's Day post over at No Hands But Ours!)

     Recently, some adoption friends traveled across the earth to bring home their 5th daughter. For larger family reasons the father in the home stayed behind to man the fort, but through the magic of Facetime he got to be a part of his new daughter's Gotchya Day, trips to the park and medical appointments in China. Even so, he would still have to wait to hold his sweet girl's face in his hands. After two long weeks, he drove to the airport to welcome his family home. The video of this papa eagerly waiting for his family absolutely melted my heart. Let me paint the picture:

 

     A busy airport terminal, people scurrying to either get to or get back from. A tall man holding several bouquets of flowers, looks anxiously down the long terminal, standing several feet in front of a large welcome-home committee with hand drawn signs and phones prepped for pictures. He nervously shifts his weight and checks his watch approximately every 7 seconds, several times looking back at the support group asking "do you see them yet? Does anyone see them? They should be here already."  He alternates between checking his watch and shifting his weight...again.  THEN, he sees his bride down the long stretch and a smile explodes across his face! Immediately his eyes drops to the level of her knees looking for a familiar little girl's face. "She's here!!" he shouts. He runs his finger through his hair and bounces a few feet forward, obviously every cell in his body wanting to run to meet them (the silly TSA man will see that that does NOT happen). He jumps in place, reaching to wave like a 7 year old trying to see Santa at the end of the parade.
     The welcome home party (who clearly can see what is happening on their own) encourages him as he shout repeatedly "She's here! They made it!!". There is more bouncing and waving and grins that might actually be sourced from somewhere near his toes. Then...his wife and his new precious daughter cross over the TSA line and he RUNS to them, dropping to his knees where his own tear filled eyes can meet those of his worried daughter. "It's OK, honey. I'm your babba.", he says while stroking her cheek. "You are home now and I LOVE YOU". He draws her in for a gentle hug and while she reluctantly agrees she melts into him. She is HOME. 

    Can you see it?? Can you feel it?! It is the perfect picture of a father's heart. A daddy madly in love with his child. It didn't matter that he had never met her. It didn't matter that another man across the world had physically made her. She. Was. His. And nothing was going to contain the passion he felt for his child. Every beat of his human heart was (is!) for the children God had given him, no matter how they came into his arms.

Photo credit: Jessi Watson

     Men, I know that women, mommas, are commonly a couple steps a head of you on the adoption journey, especially in that first Call to adopt. It is sometimes difficult to lead & provide for a biological family AND consider the long term ramifications of stepping out in adoption. The struggle is REAL. But when the switch is flipped, oh my goodness! When the ahh-haa moment is filled with the Holy Spirit and a father's heart turns towards his (soon to be) child...it is POWERFUL.  Daddies, I know emotional paternity doesn't always come easily and stepping out to adopt someone else's child can be HARD, but when you get it. I mean really GET IT, you can't be stopped! How God's heart is tucked away in your humanness is totally unique from how a mother loves her children. There is a glimpse of our Heavenly Father's heart for us available to us every time you cradle your child, in how you both lead and provide boundaries, in how you carefully encourage your child's heart, even in how you get on the floor and play after a long day at work. It's how God wants to love us, if we would only let Him. This is probably why Satan works so hard to destroy men in their families...and why God is so intent on redemption. I am reminded of William Young's description of Father-God's paternal-ness in his book The Shack: "...once the Creation was broken, true fathering would be much more lacking than mothering...both are needed-but an emphasis on fathering is necessary because of the enormity of its absence."



Photo credit: Shelby VanderKooy

Men, you have such an incredibly special place in the family.

• You are the father your new daughter will learn to trust. Her heart will be dated by you first, learning to be cherished, respected and protected.
• You are the man your new son will learn integrity from. How to humble his heart, seek the Lord and learn to lead honorably.
• You are the grandfather that will pass on a legacy of faith to your new grandchild. From you a history of loving the Lord through valleys and mountain peaks will be learned.
• You are the uncle your niece or nephew will learn community & accountability from. How to live together and apart; following God's leading and supporting those around you as they follow their own Call.
• You are the big brother your new sibling will learn both adventure and grace from. The balance is delicate and only Big Brothers know how to walk that line carefully!

     Let me stress a VERY important point...you do not have to be biologically or legally related to a child to have a father's heart toward them.  As a single mother, I am so very aware of this. My son has an uncle with no relation to me whatsoever, that loves him and pursues his little heart.  And oh my, Isaac loves him right back! There is also a gentleman at church nearing his retirement years that seeks my child out EVERY SUNDAY to lay hands on him and pray a blessing over him. When Isaac isn't in the mood, he prays over me as I parent my child alone.  We also have family friends with a teenage son that takes the time to get on the floor and wrestle...I mean really wrestle...with my little boy that could easily be passed off as a pesky kid to be ignored. Each of these men are speaking life to my son's heart in a way that I cannot, simply because they are men. They are relationships that I value and feel personally blessed by.  (Isaac's "Great-Grampa" made me promise to teach our boy about Jesus and the Green Back Packers. "If he loves those two things, he'll be just fine." Wise words only a grampa can provide.)

Photo credit: Lauren Childers

     A father's heart is real and is tangible in so many beautiful ways. Today we celebrate each of the men that offer their heart through the Lord's to the children around them.  Thank you for stepping out. Thank you for loving, maybe even when it isn't comfortable or natural. Thank you for seeking ways to mirror the Lord's heart for us. You are making a impact. You make our families whole.
 

Bathtime Compromise

This child of mine is TOO much. 

Isaac knows he is not supposed to get out of the bathtub by himself. We've had this conversation MORE than once over the last three years. If I'm not there (usually six feet away sorting laundry in the hallway), he is to call "Mamma, all done!".  But for some strange reason, my smarty-pant son has decided that the only place he is going to implement the equally important 'no yelling' rule...is when he is in the bathtub. His compromise to the conflicting mandates is to:

• VERY carefully step out of the bubbly bath (I've snuck a peak in the mirror),
• Waddle down the hallway naked and covered in bubbles,
• Gently tap me on the hip
• Softly say "Ahba, AH-da" (Mamma, all done)
• Then RUN back to the bathroom (soap dripping from his perfect little tooshie) 
• Hop back into the tub
• Wait patiently until I appear (4 nanoseconds later) and ask ignorantly "Isaac, are you all done?"
• "Um...Yes"

I laugh the entire time I am wrapping him up in his Elmo bath towel.  This kid.  I tell ya.

Bamboo Project 2.0: Summer 2015

     One question I am asked the most in regards to special needs adoption is "Why Down syndrome?"  It seems like a fair question, but I just don't seem to remember a specific event in my life that echoed 'you will parent a child with more chromosomes than you!" Overwhelmingly, when you speak to families who have adopted a child with DS as ask them WHY, their immediate response is "Why not?!" (I like their spunk!)  As a pediatric trauma nurse I had more than one delightful interaction with children with Down syndrome and their families. When they were babies, I looked forward to their sweet smiles and cuddly little bellies. As they got older, their inquisitive nature and pure minds stole the hearts of everyone who cared for them. (After one particular 15 year old got her appendix out, she asked worriedly "what did the doctor do with my appendix?" I skipped the details and assured her that her appendix was his favorite so he put it in a picture frame and hung it on his office wall. She didn't miss a beat, whipped her head around and stared at her father. "SEE, I told ya!").  But that isn't the reason I adopted a child with designer genes.

 

     Because the truth is, I didn't adopt a child with Down syndrome...I adopted my son.  He was THERE and I was HERE and that 5,935 mile gap had to be closed, extra chromosomes or not. I knew that our journey in life would be a bit different than those around us because of that little bit of extra. There would be a few more medical appointments and some parenting efforts that other families wouldn't have to have. The hard days would be particularly hard, maybe even 'what-have-I-gotten-us-into-?!-hard. But the good days...oh, the good days. They are SO. VERY. AWESOME. The joy that radiates from my child is incomparable. It's not a joy that can be taught or conjured or even inherited. It is Christmas morning & slow dancing in the rain; it is warm, wet sand between your toes & a brand new box of crayons; it is a hot chocolate with marshmallows & the perfect road trip mix tape...and all because I put purple jam on his morning toast. That little bit of extra that makes my boy 'different', and 'special' is what makes him PERFECTLY created by our Heavenly Father.  And perfectly matched for my heart.

     Two summers ago, the Bamboo Project was started as a focused advocacy initiative through Bethany Christian Services specially for children with Down syndrome waiting in China for a new forever.  Isaac and I have gotten to see nearly twenty children with their little bit of extra bring joy into their new forever families. It has been such an honor to pray for these precious babies as they wait and for the unknown families as they step out in faith in adoption; to meet & cry with & rejoice with matched families as they bring their children home; and even to lament over lost sleep  and celebrate the smallest of victories once these families have entered their new normal.  It's been an awe-inspiring journey with some incredible people. God's hand has been miraculous.

     With the success of the original Bamboo Project, the authorities in China have identified TWENTY-TWO more children with Down syndrome available for adoption. All of these beautiful children are under five years old, over half are under two. Each of these sweet hearts are FULL of a perfect joy carefully knit into their very DNA. Each waiting for a new forever in the arms of their loving family.

    

     Will you join us in advocating for these perfect children?

1. Pray for their physical, emotional & mental safety as they wait in the orphanage in China. That their little hearts would be protected from fear, anxiety and hopelessness.

2. Pray for the nannies and foster families that are providing care for each of these beautiful children. That no medical issue would be missed and that compassionate care would abound.

3. Pray for soft hearts of forever families to hear God's call to step out and welcome their child HOME. That they too would be protected from fear and blind to anything other than the Lord's call.

4. Pray for God's perfect timing and perfect will in each of the children and family's' lives.

5. Share about the Bamboo Project openly with your friends, family, coworkers, etc. Some one's heart maybe waiting for 'that sign' from God that comes from your voice of advocacy.

6. Give your extra pennies or dollars or more to china@bethany.org attn: Bamboo Project. Every cent goes towards bringing these precious ones HOME. 

7. Pray that the Creator of these beautiful children would be glorified here in the US and in China through the Bamboo Project. That ultimately there would be no need for the advocacy initiatives like this because of the overwhelming value of life in both countries.

 

As you continue to pray and children are coming HOME, we'll keep you updated!! (Don't you just want to smooch them ALL?!)

 

Ball Pit

Isaac was given a, uh...bag of balls (ain't no easy way to say that) last fall. We had lots of fun tonight with a homemade ball pit in the evening sun. A big THANK YOU to the family who gave them to us (you know who you are!).

Bamboo Project Update: Another Gotchya Day!

It's been nearly four years since this AH-DOOR-AH-BUL face showed up on my computer screen and stole my heart. The first child with known Down syndrome allowed to be adopted out of China:

Isaac, age 9months

Almost three years ago, that handsome boy was placed in my arms:

August 2012

This summer will mark two years since the start of the Bamboo Project: a focused advocacy program at Bethany Christian Services for children with Down syndrome in China. Thirteen sweet Chinese children and their extra chromosome have come HOME through this project in the last two years. They are ALL thriving, healthy and have families that are WILDLY in love with their beautiful children. (Seriously...crazy in love!). Fourteen new children have been added to the Bamboo Project, most under the age of 1 and are waiting for their new forever. I'll have more information about them soon.

Exactly one year ago you were praying for one of our first Bamboo families as they traveled from Michigan to China to bring HOME their precious daughter. You prayed as she left all that she knew, crossed the earth and was welcomed into her new family. I've seen her pictures...she is GORGEOUS and has been declared Her Royal Highness of the House!

Today, that same family is returning to China to pick up their new son, also a Bamboo Baby. This handsome boy was in the same orphanage as his new sister, in fact they were close friends. Once home, Sister would watch videos of the children she left behind and would immediately pick out the same specific boy every time, calling his Chinese name. It moved her parents deeply and they petitioned to bring him home as soon as possible. In just two weeks, he will be back with his best little friend...now his sister forever.

 

Please be praying for this family as they travel and welcome home their new son. Pray for the multiple children they have left behind in Michigan and the heart of their daughter who longs for her brother. The transition of these two precious children back together will be an unique one and I am confident that our Heavenly Father will unite their hearts for life.