52 Weeks of Family: Week 49

Mila:

It's been a peaceful week. I hear you in the shower reviewing the weekly schedule--who is picking up who and any special events during the week. (I also hear you practicing reprimands for your brother which seems both prideful and efficient. I'm waiting to address it until I can determine between the two).
For the first time ever, I had to rearrange part of my schedule to accommodate the social schedule of one of my children. Actually, had to call a business person back and humbly ask "I'm so sorry, I forgot my daughter is having people over and I'll need to co-host, can we pick a different time?".  You are VERY excited about having a friend over again. In fact, you've listed out the next 5 people you are inviting over and what movie you'll watch and food you'll eat with each of these people. In an interesting social twist, you've decided to invite your 10 year old cousin AND your speech therapist over at the same time...perhaps they have common interests??  I'm not entirely sure how to tell you that I *think* Ms Brandkamp may have other plans... it's just a guess, so who knows.

You are *almost* putting your own outfits together with some sense of matching & style. I say almost, because I think you have just memorized what combinations of clothes I've laid out for you before, but you are really stinking close. You like being told you look "cute", "beautiful",  and, wait for it..."perfect" (because you aren't lacking in the self esteem department!) You'll pick between a braid or a pony tail "table trail" and pick between three pairs of shoes.  It seems like a simple victory not worthy of mention but for nearly 14 years you literally did not have an article of clothing to call your own. Clothes and shoes were always clean and in good repair but passed around the orphanage and institution to whomever was in need of that size. Even now when we receive updates of your friends left behind in Albania I catch glimpses of "your" sandals and pants that you wore a year ago. Having your own clothes to choose from...what simple part of having your own family.

Isaac:

All your emotions have been *just* under your skin this week.  Quick to be angry, quick to laugh hysterically, quick to cry, quick to say sorry or to give a hug.  One of your daily school reports this week said "No shouting, but lots of kisses for his friends".  *hahaha*  Well, it seems our lessons in volume control are working, but now we get to talk about the vital importance of consent. *wink*

Chilaxing on the couch...

Not even sure what to make of this...

Or this...

You got the giggles one evening after I put baskets on both of our heads (let's be honest...I was trying to distract you so I could watch the Packer game), but then I sneezed and the basket fell over my eyes. You laughed SO hard you fell off the ottoman you were seated on!  Shoulders literally shaking as you moaned with laughter. So that became the game of the hour...not the Packers loss to the Eagles.   

You also spent 20 minutes at the dinner table attempting to flip a blueberry into your mouth with the arm of your fork.  It caught my eye so I watched you as nonchalantly as possible over my own fork. You worked so hard to make sure the blueberry didn't fly out of control...clearly you would be reprimanded for that...so you took particular caution to control the blueberry's trajectory. But then you also had to aim it into your mouth, which meant setting & resetting the blueberry and adjusting the height of your mouth (I'm not sure the force of which you were launching the blueberry was ever considered). For 20 minutes you worked on this little project with the same little blueberry, absolutely set on success.  And then you did it!  You figured it all out and when you looked up to realize that no one had seen your feat in physics a sad little disappointment set in behind your eyes...that's when I snuck you the wink & a smile.  I had seen it. I watched every moment in absolute awe and pride.  There are many areas in life that we probably aren't ever going to excel in, but blueberry fork flipping??  We can cross that off the list!  

Me:

Getting creative to find self care time has become a bit of a hobby. I listen to books during my commute to & from work, now that the kids are back in school I can sneak in a friendly lunch once & a while, and while I'm not able to participate in Sunday sermon live (we step out after worship), I've taken to getting my un-interrupted time "at church" on Sunday evenings while I fold laundry.  I had to chuckle this week to see Pastor Ben between the kids' piles and a loose sock. *wink*

This has been the first week in our entire existence as a family of three that I haven't needed to remember that there are indeed three of us. But twice this week, both kids were quietly working on a project together-ish, Disney music was playing, I was cooking in the kitchen and I turned to take in a scene that made total sense...my family.  I didn't have to work to make sure one child was being included or their specific, unique needs were being met, we were just naturally living life as a family. It finally clicked. 

52 Weeks of Family: Week 48

Mila:

You've had a really peaceful week (hallelujah!).  Some different parenting strategies I'm using are working for all of us and I'm working to give you some extra independence.  Your brother & I had been walking you into your classroom every morning since January.  Somewhere around Spring Break we would stop short of the door, let you say good bye in the hallway and depart from there.  We did the same thing with the start of this school year, until last week: We've started dropping you off in the car line with all the other middle schoolers and let you walk into your class (that I can see from the parking lot!) all on your own. YOU LOVE THIS!  Your teachers have reported a new bounce in your step as you stroll in proud as a peacock! (You also linger at the side of the van to give goodbyes through the window and extra high fives to Isaac, so don't think I don't know how you really feel about us *wink*)

School is going particularly well. You are joining your Gen Ed peers for two class periods per day and are helping the younger/newer students in your developmental classroom on a daily basis. This week your class made apple turnovers to capitalize on your new baking skills...

Isaac:

Exactly 6 years later, you've decided your Super Ears are awesome! You are wearing them through the day at school and into our bedtime routine. You are even asking for them on the weekends!  This is a serious miracle.  It has been such a struggle to get you to accept them and then years of chasing your growth spurts to get the right mold fits, etc.  It's been a good reminder that you do things in your own time; when you are indeed emotionally ready.  Remind me of that again & again & again for the other issues that are top of Momma's List of Things to Help Isaac Conquer. ;)

Me:

I admit, I really did not know much about Mother Teresa or the Missionaries of Charity prior to our time in Albania last year. I was shocked (why, I don't know) to meet precious women who truly love Jesus and are living out each day in service to their Savior. Yes, there were some cultural hurdles that complicated our stay, but the individual conversations that I was able to have with so many of them touched my heart, so much so that I've read a few books about Mother Teresa and watched a documentary on her life.  "A call within a call" is how she described her world changing service of the Lord's most vulnerable in India. A simple woman who asked her Heavenly Father to open her eyes to what breaks His heart. And her response literally course-altered an entire religious denomination when she said Yes to those others were saying No to...not to mention, heart-altering those around her and the physically & spiritually destitute that she served. Such an incredible woman, who I believe would say 'the same God who rose from the dead & who worked through Mother Teresa's sweet Catholic heart, is the same God who calls out to you and I to say YES when others say NO. To seek discomfort in our walk with the Lord. To see the face of Christ in everyone we meet, as they, like us, were made in the image of Him'.  Isn't that empowering??

52 Weeks of Family: Week 47

Mila:

After backing up the adoption/trauma/down syndrome/teenage parenting train a bit last week both our attitudes seemed to have improved. (We both needed it!) You've been peaceful and even joyful this week which is a gift to my tired heart.

One MAJOR win this week...you baked muffins in the kitchen!! Honey, this was a jaw dropper for me, truly. It took you 3 solid months to cross the threshold into the kitchen. And another sever months before you would just come hang with me in the kitchen while I cooked or baked, but you have adamantly REFUSED to participate in any cooking or baking yourself outside of a turkey sandwich for your school lunch everyday.  One afternoon after school this week, on a whim, I asked you if you wanted to make chocolate muffins with me, knowing full well you were going to say no again...but then you didn't! In fact, it was a Tigger bounce into the kitchen and a gleeful SURE instead.  (Say what?!?!).  Then I figured you'd tag out when your hands got dirty or the KitchenAid was too loud. But you pushed through all of it, even shredding zucchini in the food processor. (Serious jaw drop).  I am SO PROUD of you, Mila. This was a really, really big step of growth. And all your teachers and school friends loved them!

Isaac:

You had a rough start to school this last week. Your para hadn't been hired yet so you had a couple of different substitutes, then your classroom teacher had a family emergency and was out for two days and I think the sheer amount of stimulation coming at you during the day was just too much. I picked you up on Thursday and you literally walked outside, slid down the brick wall and fell asleep right there! Your music and gym teacher just stared at you--then me--then you.  Seems they had never seen exhaustion hit so hard and so fast.  

(Those are your toes!)

Having a bath every night is helping your relax and we got lots of rest over the weekend. Thankfully, the start of the new week is already better. You'll find your groove and your school team is committed to helping you stay successful. For this I am so very thankful.  

Me:
I took the kids to the State Fair this weekend and the Lord used a potentially frustrating interaction with my oldest to remind me (again) of His unending grace in my life.  It was her first time at the Fair and she was wild with excitement. When I told her we could see the horses she leaped up and started towards the grandstand--the exact opposite of the horse barn. I attempted to guide her back but she was insistent that she was going to see the horses THIS WAY.  Just on the verge of a I-darn-well-know-where-the-horses-are-State Fair Meltdown, I pulled her close ready to firmly whisper in her ear she needed to obey when the Holy Spirit interjected "She is just like you, She thinks she knows the way".   Uggg. *straight to the heart*.  My breath absolutely caught in my throat.  So in the path of a giant human ear of corn riding a ten foot unicycle: "Mila, you have to trust me to show you the way. There is no way for you to know the right direction. I do. Let Momma show you".  She relaxed into me, took my hand and let me show her the way.    It was an honest to goodness teaching moment for both of us. And I want desperately to believe that the Father, Son & Holy Spirit were sitting there in Heaven watching my crazy little attempt at parenting with goofy grins and a couple of elbow nudges to each others' sides.  "Eh, eh!  What did I tell you? Just look at those two. Two peas in a pod."

52 Weeks of Family: Week 46

Mila:

School started back this week and you were SO EXCITED! You are a social butterfly and I know that being in a small family has been a difficult transition for you. I am glad that you have such a wonderful team and many good friends at school. I am praying that not only is your mind opened to academics this year, but your heart grows deep in friendship as well. <3  

The start of school triggered some things in you that (maybe?) I should have expected?? I'm still not sure. But it triggered you in such a way that I'm needing to sit down and rethink how I'm parenting you in a lot of ways. A lot has been asked of you in these last 46 weeks--leave all that you know, go with strangers on a plane across the world, move into their house, take their name, learn their language, eat their food (you haven't struggled with that portion as much!), and ignore every instinct you have in your arsenal for living, also start school for the first time ever, make your bed every day and learn how to a big sister "with a happy heart"...and do it all during puberty AND with an extra chromosome. It's A LOT honey, and I have to remind myself that 46 weeks is not going to undo nearly 14 years of institutional survival.   As much as I am personally ready to not have to use Google Translate and to not have to remind you how to flush toilet paper, I know we are still in this for the L-O-N-G haul. 

Isaac:

Lots of new changes in school this year--a new teacher, a new room, a new schedule. The evening before school started we met your teacher and took a walking tour of your school to 'remember the sameness'. You tolerated it well but took a stress nap on the way home. Your little brain and heart just couldn't take one more bit of new information. I get it, buddy. I get it. But you have a great team and many of your close friends sitting near you in class. I think you are going to have a good year, buddy. So much to learn and explore!

Your sister hasn't been too keen on having you nearly lately---I am working on that. BUT I caught you both on the couch folding kitchen towels together and you were both enjoying it. HALLELUJAH!  It is a victory I am going to celebrate!

Me:
It was the wrong week to give up sugar & coffee.  I'm exhausted.

52 Weeks of Family: Week 45

Mila:

You had some special visitors this week (and I'm kicking myself that I didn't get a photo!)...our missionary friends from Albania stopped by to see you!  They have known you since you were 18 months old, so it is a real treat for me to see the proud familiarity flash through their eyes when they see you. <3   They commented on how much you have changed in the last 45 weeks...and also your teenage sass (that's actually hard to miss).  You soaked in their attention and were able to retell stories of when we last saw our friends in Albania in October.  The next couple of days were hard for you after that. You seem to be in a stage of transition that needs to separate from your past; to solidify your future. You haven't been asking to see photos of your friends left behind and when I have shown you messages on my phone, you struggle to find their names and get frustrated easily.  My heart breaks for you that you need to go through this...that in order to feel safe in your future, you have to, in many ways, sever what was your past. I know you will circle back around again where all things and people Albanian will be safe again, but for now, we wait...

Never too old to enjoy a big bowl of 'bas-getti'! 

Your little garden has been a beautiful healing project for you. It has given you a dedicated chore to do every day, even when you haven't wanted to. And you've gotten to see the literal fruit of your "labor" (ahem, the maternal garden gnome maybe have been doing some work behind the scenes).  Your raspberries and rhubarb were plucked in early July, and how it was time to harvest your first tomato and cucumbers.  Very exciting!  And to eat your very own 'cumber' for lunch was the highlight of your day!  We still have peppers and watermelons coming...

Isaac:

It's taking a remarkable amount of time, but I think your ears are starting to feel better. This was a doozie of an infection and I feel badly that you can't finish up the summer in the pool every evening. 

The rousing game of "How Will Isaac Fall Asleep Tonight?!"

We got to visit your new teacher and tromp around the school grounds a bit to get our school legs under us again. You are ready!  I'm excited for all that you are going to learn and how you are going to grow this year. I think we have a solid team in place that will help engage in a lot of 'what's best for Isaac' conversations this year. 

I sent this photo to a friend of mine in Tennessee and her response is fit for framing:

What a beautiful, amazing life you life, Friend!!! I know it has hard spots...any life in this side of Heaven does...but aren't you in awe of what God has given you???!!!  From the Great Wall of China to the Great Wall of blue cups!!!!!

Me:

We have had a good summer--packed with road trips, beach trips, hikes, exploring, swimming, movies and fun. I started a new job, the kids had a summer nanny and day camp nearly every day. It was full...and I AM EXHAUSTED. It wasn't until last week that I realized that, outside of the surprise sunset watching I had at the beach, I haven't had two shakes to myself or anyone that I don't get a tax deduction for since the middle of June, and I am feeling it.  With the kids going back to school this week my regular day off from employment will resume to tackle the To Do list at home, sneak in a lunch with a friend and perhaps...just maybe...sneak in a nap.  Maybe.