In the long list of things that 2020 has asked us to reconsider, revisit and reinvent, how to celebrate Harvest on Oct 31st was one of them. For years, we've dressed up, gone to a large church Harvest party, enjoyed the games and shows and come home sacked out and happy. The Harvest had been collected, let's celebrate and hunker down for the winter (our family interpretation of Halloween).
I didn't know what to do so I asked the kids and they planned our own Pumpkin Party! Together they dictated a long list of foods to eat, games to play and music to listen to for their party. Mila talked about it for DAYS. Isaac couldn't decide which costume to wear from his dress up box, so he picked two...Woody from Toy Story and a revisit of Dokta Isaac from last year.
Between Gramma, our sweet neighbor and our church family who dropped off goodie bags, these two were NOT hurting in the candy department! (Santa and the Easter Bunny may be dipping into the harvest reserves!)
Pumpkin bowling was a HIT.
Jack-o-lantern pizza:
Glow in the dark dance party:
We played. We ate. We laughed. We watched movies. We danced. We had a lot of fun. For all the reasons I have not yet been able to identify---maybe the simple Grace of the Lord---this was probably the best Harvest party we've ever been to. Both kids went to bed with giddy, contented smiles; Mila gave me a sleepy kiss and added "that fun, mommy". <3
So, Lord we honor you as we celebrate the collection of the harvest. This year has been SO weird and SO hard, but You are clearly moving in ways we cannot yet see. These precious moments with my kids are stacking up in such a way, that as I mentioned to a friend, "I think I'm going to look back on 2020 and actually say it was our best year!"
Oh my goodness, honey...2020. Who would have thought this crazy, clown-show of a year would happen so early (at all!) into a major transition into your new forever?? We were just coming off an emotionally rough winter when the pandemic hit. I had spent the previous 15 months opening the world up to you and then it was taken all away. 😥 The trauma trigger of being 'locked' into our home compound with only your brother & I to look at was really, really hard on you and there were many weeks through the spring and summer that I was praying against depression from settling into your vulnerable heart. This is not the way the world--your life--is supposed to be.💔 I wish I could have protected you from it differently.
BUT, through a global pandemic, adoption transition, language learning, neurological reorganization, typical adolescence, AND some chromosomal enhancement, we are chipping away at more of who you really are. I love the quote by Michelangelo...
Of course, I do not yet know the full picture of the 'angel in the marble' that God perfectly created you to be. And I don't get to direct how you are carved, but when I get those little glimpses of hope, of peace that settles over you, of real joy that comes with ease, of a small victory that we have fought so hard for, then I am excited for what is still in store for both you and I in this process of Becoming Mila.
Your communication and English skills are BOOMING. I am in constant awe of the critical thinking and sentence structures you are able to piece together. You want to know things: who is that? what is this called? when is that happening? And you can recall details of events or schedules that have long since left my brain. "When exactly did Momma say you could watch Frozen 2 again?!" "In the car. Last Tuesday. We go store. Buy bananas." Oh...well, thaaaaat actually sounds about right. Maybe it's because of how I have communicated with you, but I also think (as weird as it is to say) that English is somehow easier for you than Albanian (is that even possible?!)
You continue to LOVE music and have come to really enjoy musical theater and Broadway musicals. (Thank you Hamilton!) And in just the past few weeks, you are discovering real skill with art! Your ability to observe and replicate through your hands is giving you an outlet that you didn't have before and I am in awe of what this could mean for you.
But your heart for Jesus...that is truly beautiful. You lift your hands in worship and sing loudly of God's plan for your life (melt my heart!). Around Easter, something clicked in you and you've been very vocal not about Jesus' death (you knew that well in your Catholic upbringing), but His resurrection and coming return. We've had this conversation several times...:
Mila:Mommy! Jesus died on the cross. He go in the tomb. Holy Spirit woke him up! In Heaven getting ready for us. He come back and take us home!
Me: That's exactly right, Mila. Jesus is getting everything ready for us in Heaven and then he'll come back and take us to Heaven with him.
Mila: Flam-ly Mila?
Me: Yes, Jesus is coming for all of Mila's family.
Mila: At Mila house? And Gramma house?
Me:(hiding the smirk) Yup. Jesus won't forget Gramma.
Mila:
Mila:
Mila: Mommy...mommy at work? (very concerned, on the verge of tears)
Me: (my heart absolutely breaking). It's ok, Mila. If Momma is at work when Jesus comes, He'll pick me up at work and then we'll come and get you and Isaac together. Momma ALWAYS comes back.
Mila: (excited again) Then Gramma?!
Me: Yes, then Jesus will take us to get Gramma and we all go to Heaven as a family.
Mila: Oh, thank you Mommy!! (BIG bear hug)
(Dear Jesus, we are going to need a very specific rapture route when the time comes, Amen).
This is our reality: trauma and abandonment are going to be with us for a very, very long time. And it will be the filter that ALL things are passed through, even deep, faith-filled conversations of the heart. It takes a lot to welcome a child home through adoption, but the real work doesn't start until they are indeed HOME.
Kamila Naomi, God's sweet flower of hope. You already have come SO far in these last two years. Yes, we still have a long way to go, but Jesus is helping us both walk this road side by side. You often ask to pray for ME at dinner, and I always pray that the Lord would continue to draw us together as we see Jesus in each other.
Happy Family Day, Sweet Girl.💓 You are strong. You are brave. You are creative. You are funny. You are loved. You are wanted. You are ours...and we are yours. Forever and ever and ever.
In what seemed like the first normal-ish thing we've done in 8 months, we went to the pun'kin patch with the cousins today. Boy did that feel good! We wore the masks when we had to and sanitized the hands when we needed to, but mostly were just happy to be out with people we love and NOT have to be 6 feet away.
Buncha crazy kids...they haven't seen each other since Christmas <3
Apparently Isaac had a pun'kin where it was not supposed to be!
Duckie races!
Mila visited the animal barn--this is such a HUGE victory! This was an absolute no-go last year.
Pun'kin chuck'in!
My rule is, you can pick any pun'kin, you just have to be able to carry it (that generally limits the field of choice). Auntie Jessie changed the rule that you only have to carry it to the wheelbarrow *eyeroll* Now my plan is foiled!
...Captain Muscles got it into the wheelbarrow!
One of my favorite traditions is taking photos at the pun'kin patch. We've only missed one year (2016) and I hope we can add many, many years onto this growing photo patch of our own...
