52 Weeks of Family: Week 10

Mila:

Before you came home, it didn't occur to me to ask what your exposure to animals had been. We don't have any pets, save two fish, but we have lots of pet friends in our social circle. I should have asked, 'cuz the first time you HEARD a dog bark in public our first week home YOU. FREAKED. OUT and I thought...oh crap; we've got to fix this fast. Operation Dogs Are Awesome started immediately. I learned how to say "dogs are our friends" in Albanian and we waved at every dog we saw...anywhere. I rolled down your car window as we drove by them, we waved and said Hi Friend Dog to every single one.  We looked a pictures. We watched videos. We played with stuffed dogs (you didn't like that so much). And aside from having to explain why the "dogs" that chase Anna and Kristoff in FROZEN and the dogs in THE STAR who are literally trying to kill Baby Jesus aren't our friends we powered through with some serious enthusiasm. As Christmas neared we talked about a dog coming to our house and looked a pictures of Uncle Thad's dog and how fun he is: "Fun friend dog. In our house. Yeah!"  When Uncle Thad arrived we met him in the drive way so you could see the dog in a car (something you were used to)...but you weren't having it.  Nuts.  We talked. I held you. You watched from the other room as your brother played with the dog and gave him commands. You heard me say over and over "It's OK. You are OK", begging your heart to trust me.  Gramma said, "it's OK", Isaac said "it's OK", Uncle Thad said "You're OK"...and then you were OK.  It became your mantra through the evening. So much so we couldn't tell if you were telling yourself or the dog or us: "it's OK, it's OK, it's OK" (it got to be funny!).  And then...you reached out and petted the 75 pound German shepherd!  And liked it!!  I'm so proud of you honey. That was a brave thing to do.  You trusted your family. You believed that you were OK. You didn't let fear drive you away. No one forced you to do a thing; you made the choice on your own. Such a brave girl.  I am pretty sure "Dogggg. It's OK. It's OK. Sit down!" is going to be a new family phrase *wink*

You made it through Christmas without any major issues. You seemed a bit overwhelmed with the number of gifts from friends & family but I could tell which ones you liked best as you immediately took those to your room where they couldn't be touched. *wink* You have enjoyed the Christmas season so very much, I think it'll be sad for you to see it packed up and put away.

Food has not been an issue for you. I think mostly because you are used to eating what is put in front of you...which is kinda great, if you have to pick an upside to lifelong institutionalization.  You have found a few preferences in your time HOME though--pizza, hamburgers & fried rice!  Silly girl, you are fitting right into this Asian-American family.

Eating your first hot dog--thumbs up!

Isaac:

Pneumonia is the worst. I've lost track of how many times you've had this nasty affliction in your little life...are we up to 6? 8 even? I hate it and how it makes you feel, forced to sit upright to breath in the middle of the night to avoid your lungs filling with fluid. Uggggggg. I'm thankful that your body is stronger than it was when you first came home. You almost didn't make it through that first bout with 11 days in the hospital. This time, six years later, we know what to do and your body knows how to fight. We've got this.

You are doing a good job taking care of your sister, you want so desperately to be her bestie.  NS when you two aren't annoying the daylights out of each other you are indeed best buds. The current conversation that I hear 15 times per day is:

Isaac: Eee-la, chill. OK? Thank you.
Mila: Isaac, NO chill. Thank you. 

I have to laugh. At least you are both using your manners!  None of the sibling bickering really bothers me, truly. Neither of you have ever had to share life before like this and you need time to navigate what your relationship is going to be like. Many times I sit back and let the two of you figure it out, even if it gets a little ugly. I never allow disrespect and purposeful injury is never ok, but the rest is part of building relationship.  You'll both figure it out together.

Playing together with one of your new toys:

Me:

This time of unpaid leave has been an exercise of faith. The dishwasher, hot water heater and guest bathroom all decided to act up. The radiator and water pump in the car both had to be emergently replaced. And this week the alternator blew up while you were out doing errands---it was a day that you were supposed to be up in the mountains playing in the snow. Can you imagine if you had actually been up there?! The beauty of it all is how God has provided. Isaac's pneumonia had cancelled our mountain plans. And you "just happened" get a check in the mail two days prior from an old church friend who knew all the adoption fees had been paid but 'just wanted to do something'. That money bought a new alternator.  Thank you Jesus.   
The kids go back to school later this week and you'll have a few days to catch up before returning to work yourself. These weeks have flown by!

Photo A Day 2018 Holiday Edition: Mila's First Christmas

We've come to the end of our project. Seems taking photos every day this year was a bit more for our schedule than I anticipated. In fact, I called my BFF about half way through and told her her co-worker was fired from ever making life decisions for me again! (See our first post 34 days ago about how this came to be). But the point of this project is not perfection. It is capturing real life. *shoulder shrug*  Life moves on.

{Day 33}:  Christmas Eve

But we did get plenty of photos for Mila's first Christmas with a family of her own. Isaac came down with a nasty pneumonia which meant she & Gramma got to have a date to Christmas Eve service while I manned the sick haus. She was so excited to wear her 'angel dress' and go in Gramma's red car and hold a candle and sing Silent Night (psy-EEEn-tah). She told me ALL about it when she got home, sweet girl. 

This moment happened so very quickly I barely got the camera up to catch it...a big sister spontaneously pulling her little brother onto her lap for a hug & giggles. THIS. IS. HUGE!  A massive Christmas miracle. 

The first gifts of Christmas!

A small budget this year helped propel a gift tradition I've wanted to start for a while...making gifts for each other.  I want my kids to think proactively about who they are giving gifts to and why: what is important to my sister? What would be helpful or fun for her?  I also want them to recognize the gifts & talents God has given them and be able to use them to bless others. Extra chromosomes do not have to alter that. And finally, to understand  both on the giving and receiving side that real gifts come with sacrifice, because they too sacrificed their time, talents & effort to give a meaningful gift. 

Chef Isaac made Uncle Thad his favorite chocolate croissants. 

And Mila painted and decorated wind chimes for Gramma.

 And for each other...Mila made a Green Bay Packer blanket for Isaac (his favorite football team) and Isaac painted and decorated a magazine rack for Mila (she has stacks of magazines in her room).  This photo was way past their bedtimes, but I am proud of their hard work for each other. 

I even got in on the action and made several gifts, including a personal work bench for my boy.

They went to bed hours past their bedtime but the Nativity story was fresh on their minds. We give because He first gave Himself to us. That is Christmas. 

{Day 34}: Christmas Day
I swear I locked all the doors and windows last night, but somehow Santa got into the house and left a photo scavenger hunt for my goofballs to find their stockings. (I don't know if I should mention it to him, but Santa was a bit lazy...he didn't even move the stockings from the mantle. Must have been past HER bedtime too).

Say what?? Santa dropped his hat in our house and it contains two color coded envelopes that will lead us on separate yet equal hunts through the house to our stockings?! How is this even possible??

We found them!!!

A Christmas Elsa doll. Santa knows the way to this girl's heart!

Sixty-five mini red solo cups to stack, unstack and sort for hours at a time---yeah!!!!!

So, imagine you are nearly 14 and it's your first Christmas. Your mom wakes you up and says Santa was in the house. Wait. What?! Then you wander around the house matching photos up with the fish tank and the laundry basket to find toys...in a sock?? Alright, I guess. Oh, and Santa has a Dutch mother so there is also a chocolate letter in said sock...'cuz that is a thing in Holland, so welcome to America.  As my new teenager daughter says...EXCUSE ME?!?!   Yeah, I don't know, honey. It's all weird...and fun and I hope you are never too old for it. 

It was a day of rest and playdough and antibiotics and chest percussion therapy and naps for little boys who get pneumonia. But then Santa called at dinner time and said he hid two more gifts under the tree!  (Santa did NOT get creative this year).  Whaaaaattttt? Isn't Christmas over?

This for me is the picture of the day...a girly and her MOST FAVORITE things...Anna & Elsa IN A PUZZLE.  How is this even feasible?!?  She is smitten. Merry Christmas, sweet girl. You are loved.

52 Weeks of Family: Week 9 (minus 1 day because of Christmas)

Mila:

You asked for something you wanted!  A food item!  In a public place!  A banana at Target for the win!!  You asked for the one particular food I absolutely cannot stand, but Momma bought you five just for you. Life in our house is pretty simple: crack-cocaine = no; bananas = yes. 
Your favorite thing to do right now is an ABC floor puzzle. You think and ponder and sing and try over and over again. Good job, honey. You can do this!

Your English is coming so fast I don't want to loose track of some of the fun things you are saying in your own special way:

Family = flam-ly

Tomorrow morning = t'morGnig

Dinosaur = dinoSNORE

Helicopter = help-a-cop-er

Bedroom = room-boom

Shower = showNer

Silent Night = psy-EEn-tah  (I have no idea why, but you say & sing it this way consistently)

The Lord provided an incredible resource for us this week...a teacher IN the school district who 'just happens' to teach ESL AND is a fluent speaker of Albanian.  What?!?!  When your school called to report the finding, I squealed and blurted out "well, our family believes in miracles".  I do hope your school team sees God's hand over you. It has been my prayer from the beginning that anyone who comes in contact with our little story would see God being glorified. Miracles tend to do that. 

You had your initial testing at the school in preparation for your start in a few weeks. Our new Albanian-speaking friend was there to help us out. She was absolutely floored by your English (and apparently how thick your northern Albanian accent is. Little did I know!) You also demolished the initial developmental testing they started with; they quickly had to move up to some more advanced screening. For a girl who has never been exposed to any academics, you are absorbing it pretty darn fast!

I am excited for you over the next few days. You have LOVED all things Christmas over the last month--lights, trees, music, shows, etc. You even loved making and wrapping gifts, but I'm not quite sure you understand the gift RECEIVING. Our budget is small this year so the number and size of gifts should be overwhelming for you, but I do hope your heart understands that the beauty of receiving. This isn't usually something that kiddos need to be taught. MINE is an inborn cry, but you've needed to bury that inclination a long time ago in the orphanage. Nothing was ever truly yours. But now...these gifts are for YOU to keep as long as you want them, simply because you are loved. <3  

Isaac:
You finished out your school year strong. We got to join you for your all school Christmas sing-a-long and when you spontaneously started using ASL to 'sing' Feliz Navidad with your friends, your teachers (and I!) nearly fell out of our seats!

You've taken your roll at the annoying little brother on with solid commitment. Half of it is so truly well played, I can't really fault you for it: Pounding on the locked bathroom door while your sister is showering and then running, frankly, is funny.  Crawling to her side of the car after she has gotten out and locking the door from the inside then getting out on your side--kinda genius.  Following her around the house and copying her every move is an oldie but a goodie. Mimicking her Mediterranean hand gestures is down right hysterical....I mean, erm, not kind or respectful, so please stop bugging your sister (at least wait until she is not looking! *wink*)

Sadly, you finished this 9th Week of Family with a case of pneumonia--your first in two years. Poor guy. It hit you fast but you are handling it well. You let me thump on your chest, just like I did when you were a baby, but this time to the sound track of The Greatest Showman--we'll take any win we can. 

Me:

Gift giving is a bit different when on unpaid maternity leave, so you've been making phone calls instead. Like actual phone dialing, voice answering, talking to a real live person for a notable about of time-phone calls.  How refreshing!  Real conversations with old friends and people you've eager to get to know.  This fed your heart and reinforced what Christmas is really about.

Photo A Day 2018 Holiday Edition: {Days 26-32}

{Day 26}: New Cousins & BFFs

{Day 27}: My Favorite Little Chef

{Day 28}: Global phone calls with new friends are the best!

{Day 29}: Ooops. No photo today. 


{Day 30}: The most precious thing EV-AH

{Day 31}: Mary Poppins Returns!  Mila's first movie...but it seems I was more excited about it than her *wink*  (Don't worry. She loved it once the film actually started)

{Day 32}: Finishing up last minute home made gifts

52 Weeks of Family: Week 8

Mila:

You've had a great week! I think we've had a bit of an emotional break through. I can't put my finger on an exact moment or issue that helped turn the tide but we've been chip-chip-chipping away at the hard places.  I wonder though if passing 60 days together is important? We were together for 59 days in Albania this summer before I had to leave you behind. Then your precious heart had to wait another 91 days for your flam-ly to return. Have you been walking on egg shells waiting to be abandoned again?? You are indeed still looking for your permanent place in this new normal. And it's a crazy time of the year too.  You've been eager to help me wrap presents for all the important people in our lives, it occurred to me though you clearly haven't seen me wrap YOUR presents (why would you?). I spent one evening wrapping your 'big' present and showed you the next morning the biggest box under the tree had your name on it.  Oh, the smile on your face!  Utter joy and a deep, long hug for mommy! Chip-chip-chipping away replacing the old foundation with a new one. 

Two more medical appointments out of the way. These will be the last of the baseline appointments before we start circling back to actually get things done. ENT gave you full clearance which is awesome given the issues your brother has had. 

You also had your first trip to the dentist EVER. I'm not going to lie, I was really nervous for you. I even called the office ahead of time to make sure FROZEN was playing when we arrived.  You, little girl, did AWESOME!  You have baby teeth & adult teeth occupying the same space in several parts of your mouth so we'll arrange for some removals in the spring. 

You also had your first time AWAY from me. A special shopping trip with Gramma took just two hours of our day and we spent plenty of time talking about it ahead of time: a fun trip in Gramma's red car then you come home to YOUR house. You did great...until there was an unexpected trip back to Gramma's house for a few minutes. Nope. You were not having it. MOMMY'S HOUSE is where you were supposed to me. Gramma talked you through it and brought you home and you squealed with absolute joy when you pulled into our street. And were simply giddy to be with your flam-ly in your house again.  This is all very good!!  You know where and who HOME is and teaching you that Mommy always comes back (or in this case, you always come back to her) is a big step in attachment. (It does throw a slight kink in the plans to start full day school in two weeks, but we'll make those adjustments then).  

Isaac:

You and I got to have some one-on-one time for a bit while Mila had her first date with Gramma. We quickly finished one Christmas project and I gave you the option to do anything you wanted.  Your request...a bath with Momma sitting on the floor playing bubbles with you.  Sweet boy.  That is indeed dedicated 1:1 time, isn't it?  

Just a few weeks after you came home, a friend was visiting and she snapped her fingers. You were in absolute awe and you have seriously been trying to do it ever since. Six years later, you figured it out!! You are officially a snapper!  I'm so proud of you. I know that may seem silly, but it feels like a deeper look into your character. When you want to learn how to do something you work at it and practice and learn until it is a skill. Good job!  (Now, if you learn to snap as loud as I can, you will have taken away one of my true super human skills). 

Me:

You had 32 minutes of kid-free alone time this week, while Isaac was still in school and Mila was out with Gramma. It could have been glorious, but it ended up being a quick nap in the car line in the school parking lot. Honestly, that was a gift. Mila has needed constant physical connection during the day and Isaac has found his way back into your bed at night so there is never not someone touching you. Those few minutes with your face to the sun was heaven.   You have squeezed in some movie time this last week and watched all four Oceans movies (11, 12, 13 & 8).  Seems like a weird thing to binge while wrapping presents, but you really enjoyed it!

Photo A Day 2018 Holiday Edition {Days 21-25}

{Day 21}: Momma is working on a project

{Day 22}: Sometimes non-christmassy things happen during Christmas

{Day 23}: Their Spots

{Day 24}: Gift Drive Wrapping (she said she was wrapping for her BFF in Albania)

{Day 25}: Cousin Christmas PJ Movie Day  (I hope this becomes an annual tradition)