52 Weeks of Family: Week 27

Mila:

I've been sorting through a random selection of photos of you during your time Before Family.  I am so very thankful for the people in the hospital nursery that loved you well for two years, then at the baby orphanage and finally the institution. They made sure you were safe, cared for and exposed to some life outside the walls of the dorm, and they ALL loved Jesus. We now have photos of you as young as 19 months old! As well as spattering of photos of having adventures with your roommates and Sisters throughout your toddler- and childhood. I don't have dates or the stories behind them but we have pieces of your puzzle that many adoption families do not have and for that I am thankful.  As I put together your Shutterfly book, I hope these photos are a safe place for you to revisit your past and the people who loved you there. 

She is the cutie patotie on the right. 

Second or third birthday at the Baby Orphanage

Two of your favorite people at the institution 

You are becoming more engaging with your brother, even pulling him into you and being playful. Your go-to game right now is to tickling him and attempting to cradle him like a baby "Mommy!  Es Baby Isaac!" ...then Isaac pretends to cry and I have to scoop him up and rock him like a 57 pound infant.  It's fun for everyone! *wink*  Your relationship with him is a process and we've learned that Acts of Service is definitely how you show your love for your brother; you'll refuse to say sorry to him, but you'll willingly pick up his toys in repentance. I can see your heart's attitude through it all, and I suppose that is the most important part.

Riding the light rail train together.

Congrats, honey!  You told me you were hungry for the very first time!  We were out doing errands and several hours past lunch (I didn't plan well that day, sorry). It was quiet in the car and all of a sudden you yell HUNGER! from the backseat. I nearly drove off the road!  Mila, are you hungry? Do you want to eat?  Then all peaceful & demur-like you responded with a why yes, mother dearest, how ever did you know: Yes, Mommy *insert big smile*   I could tell that the word was uncomfortable for you and you needed to try it on for size. And the way you devoured TWO cheeseburgers made me wonder how long you had sat in the back pulling the word from your verbal flash cards, but you did it.  

Also...you can't say FLAMINGO!  It comes out TELE-FINGER every time!  *hahaha*

Isaac:

You have grown ANOTHER inch! I can see the inch this time as you stand head & shoulders over the kitchen counter that used to tower of you as I cooked. You've recently learned to unload the dishwasher and think this is the BEST fun (I promise not to tell you otherwise). I didn't realize this new skill had transferred over to putting away shopping items, until I couldn't find the qtips I had asked you to put in my bathroom (expecting them to be in the sink or thrown in the closet with my shoes)...until I found them opened and put away nicely in the qtip drawer.  ?!?!  

We've been working on the art of sibling compromise. What does one do when your sister doesn't want to do what you want to do?? Melting down is not an option, so let's build some skills.  For the most part, I've been letting the two of you figure it out and you've actually been doing a pretty good job of working it through.  Sometimes when you want to listen to Aladdin in the car and Mila wants to listen to Frozen she'll yell "Later Aladdin!!", but you've learned that that sometimes works. "Momma? Numba 1 Woah-zen? Numba 2 Ah-waah-din?" (Hey Mom! If we listen to Frozen, first can we listen to Aladdin next?)  Yup, we can do that.  Other times, you have anticipated the compromise and come up with your own plan: "Dista? Wy-on King or Mouse CooKEE. Ok?" (Sister, do you want to watch Lion King or If You Give A Mouse a Cookie? I've already determined these are your only two choices because that's what I want to watch, so pick one.)  That actually works too. I am proud of you both working through your wants & needs in a peaceful manner. A lot of adults can't do that!

Me:
James 1:27 was one of the first scriptures that I ever intentionally memorized. I was 16 years old and wanted to KNOW this verse--what God was saying and why.  Of course, I had no idea what the Lord had planned for me!  Fast forward twenty-some-odd years and I just came across this interpretation of my beloved scripture:

"One of the purest and most un-defiled demonstrations of the Gospel is to move towards hard places & broken people, not away from them. And in doing so, our world view is consistently reoriented to the God's heart for us, unaffected by the affairs of the world"


Oohhh.  Isn't that good?! 

52 Weeks of Family: Week 26

And just like that we've crossed the six month mark...

Mila:

The hunt continues to find the things that engage you and that you enjoy. It's difficult to ask you as both the language barrier and lack of experience hinders the response.  So, we've been trying new things out. Some things are a bust. Some things are an unexpected surprise...seems you enjoy painting projects, so we did a couple of them this week. 

I've also been working on finding outdoor spaces that you enjoy/tolerate. We spend a lot of time outdoors as a family and I've been intentional in training your brother to hike through the woods. You haven't done so well in wooded areas, but wide open spaces, lakes and beaches are enjoyable places for you. At a local beach park you INITIATED chasing the birds (something your brother taught you while we were in San Diego) and got irritated at Isaac and I when we weren't walking to the beach fast enough for you (?!?!). You happily schlepped over the uneven surfaces and threw rocks in the Sound for a half hour.  (When you got stuck on the way back and I ended up carrying you on my back while guiding Isaac up the hill, over the rocks at the same time...your momma used her muscles on that little adventure!)

Then it was your first Easter! I knew this was a holiday that you would have experienced with the Sisters in Albania, but clearly not the American way (how does one explain, exactly, the whole Jesus raising from the dead/pass the ham & rolls/giant rabbit hiding chicken eggs filled with chocolate?? It really makes zero sense). 

You worshiped your little heart out at church singing "The grave is empty, empty, empty! He is worthy, worthy, worthy!" I suppose it doesn't matter what all the fluff is, when you know where your Hope lies. <3 

Isaac:

You taught your sister how to chase birds and throw rocks in the water and to climb on Momma when you get stuck...which is also the exact same plot line of the animal planet documentary we just watched, so...thanks for that. *wink*

There is a 25 min gap in the mornings after we drop off Mila and before you go into school that has become Momma-Isaac time. Sometimes we just sit in the car and listen to music or goof off, sometimes we do a quick errand together, whatever it is it's the quality time that you live off of. 

You are naturally humorous, but you've picked up on your sister's sass and think it's hysterical to make The Mila Face for the camera now...and I won't lie, it kinda is.

You told your pediatrician this week that you are "trong wike Maui" while flexing your muscles in your underwear. You also painted your face instead of your project, including two giant paintbrush-fulls of black paint directly INTO your tiny ear canals...you know the ones you put your expensive Super Ears in every day. Getting that out was not fun for either of us and you declared "all done ear paint". Uh, yeah. That sounds like a really good plan.  Good thing you are cute. 

You did a good job of letting your sister find some of the Easter eggs in the back yard and then trading out all your chocolate for her marshmallow peeps. (That trade actually worked really well for everyone). You held hands during worship and made sure to tell everyone "Jesus be right back!" because that is, indeed, the Hope we have in Him...He is coming for us all...He'll be right back. 

Me:

During our time in Albania we ate SO MANY wonderful local foods and I became obsessed with figuring out the recipe of one particular desert and it was my goal to do so before Easter. Having no translation for what we had eaten I scoured the internet for what this custard-like cake could even be like, then pieced together several semi-translated recipes to match a single photo I had taken the night we had eaten this heavenly item. It's taken months and several test runs, but I figured it out!! I am so stinking proud of myself. For whatever reason it was really important to me that my Mediterranean daughter have this Greek cake for the only holiday that would be even slightly familiar to her. So in addition to our ham & rolls, we had Greek salad and baked feta and Ekmek cake...of which she did not even try BUT that is not the point. I set a goal and feel like I accomplished a big task and now we have a family recipe that will be passed down to the generations and talked about at church potlucks for years to come. 

Hope. Redemption. His unbelievable, unshakable pursuit of our hearts. His adoption of us as His own.  That is Easter.

52 Weeks of Family: Week 25

Mila:
You had a week of firsts! 

• Mid week you woke up in the middle of the night vomiting. *sad face*. I just happened to be walking by your room and rushed in to help you, catch your puke, wipe your face and clean you up. Normal mom stuff...except, you've never had a mom clean you up after you've puked in the middle of the night. That tragic fact caught me in the throat as I was holding your hair back. You were safe and warm at the orphanage, but you were also locked into a dorm room at night. If and when you got sick or scared or cold, you had to wait until someone unlocked the door in the morning. I assume sitting in your own sick is not an unknown feeling for you. I hate that for you, honey. I really, really do.  I have to call in reinforcements for plugged toilets (I don't want to talk about it), but I'll be there for every night time puke. I'll work to redeem those memory of night time sick, scared & cold with momma-whispers, wash clothes laid across your neck and hair being brushed away from your brow.  
• Because you got sick, you got to sleep in Mommy's room!  You thought this was the absolute best.  And then you saw an airbed get inflated!  That was not delirium, honey; airbeds are truly a thing. It was only a one night event, but you talked about that for a few days---taking me into my bedroom and showing me where you slept on the floor next to my bed. And because your brother woke up with all the commotion, he slept in my room too--it was like our own family hotel room.
• You wrote a story! I know this seems like a small thing, but this is a huge academic development. Wrote AND illustrated a sentence about our spring break. For a girly who could barely hold a pencil 6 months ago, this feels HUGE. (I am particularly proud of your airplane!)
  
• You walked into school ALL BY YOURSELF. Since you started school in January, we've transitioned from me walking you all the way to your desk and getting you settled, to walking you to the classroom door and waving good bye. It had been my plan to consider joining the car line and letting you walk into the school by yourself sometime after spring break. I don't think you've noticed, but in middle school, there aren't very many moms on campus.  You were a bit confused but walked in confidently and straight into your classroom. I was proud!  You navigated a major transition all by yourself!  It must have been a bit more intimidating that I thought, as the next morning you locked your arm into mine and kept it there until we reached the door of your classroom. *smile*. No problem, honey. We'll take our time. There is no rush. I can walk you into the school every day as long as you need. 
  
• You went to your first party!   As in all girls, no moms or little brothers- party.  Your cousin Elli just turned 10 and she has fast become one of your favorite people (Your Auntie Jessie also loves the Albanian stuffing out of you, so it was a perfect place for your first "solo" event).  When I picked you up, you were jugging a can of strawberry Fanta with the remnants of pizza, cake & ice cream on your face. You talked the entire way home!  Games, friends, food. You clearly had a good time. I was so very happy for you. I'll admit it's been a weird parenting teeter totter of infant attachment and adolescent detachment and I don't always know if I am finding the right balance for you, but I am glad we are finding ways to feed your adolescence as well. 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Isaac:

You've had a big week of growth too!  Your M.O. has always been seemingly long seasons of apparent no growth (academic, emotional, developmental, physical, whatever) followed by BIG EXPLOSIONS of growth & new skills. I have to remind myself of that when I've spent a considerable amount of time hitting my head against a wall trying to help you break through in a specific area. This week you decided that you could read an entire sentence in a book you've never seen before! "God made the world".  Um, yes. He did!  THEN, a few days later you proceeded to sound out several words and write them down on paper!!  Who is this child?! You've mastered a solid list of sight & CVC words but you hadn't made the transition to spelling yet...until this week. I was glad you were sitting on my lap facing outwards as I was doing everything in my power to hide my shrieking face while I gave you the next word to sound out. (Your sister even asked "mommy, you ok?")

I was especially moved to your response to Mila being sick. You knew something was out of sorts when you woke up and joined the air mattress commotion in my room. You've never slept on my floor so I don't know how you knew the context of the situation, but when your sister gave a small non-puke-like cough, you quickly walked into the kitchen grabbed a washcloth and put it across her neck while holding the designated puke Tupperware (it's a thing) in front of her. It was the exact opposite of what she actually needed right then and she was actually a little irritated by it all, but I stood back and smiled proudly as you took care of your sister. You have such a tender heart, Isaac. I am so excited to see what the Lord has planted in you for the future. <3 

You and I got a solid compliment from your teacher this week. She noted what a strong work ethic and such nice manners you have; "He has a good character", she said. I smiled ear to ear. Why, yes he does! I've been intentional in building those in you and it felt like a huge gold star to hear such specific feedback from someone outside our little circle. 

You made Irish Cottage Pie this week with sweet potatoes--SOO good! 

"Momma, I cheese!"

Me:

I took the kids to the annual Breath of Aire benefit concert at church this week. A 40 person worship choir that helps raise funds for a camp for abused & neglected children in foster care.  I knew the kids would enjoy the spectacle and the singing. What caught me mid-breath was both kids spontaneously waving palm branches in the air and singing while the choir worshiped over us (the lyrics are below). Oh my heart.  On Palm Sunday no less; what a holy moment.  

He loves to hear the wind sing

As it whistles through the pines on mountain peaks

He loves to hear the raindrops

As they splash to the ground in a magic melody

He smiles in sweet approval

As the waves crash to the rocks in harmony

Creation joins in unity to sing in majestic symphonies

But His favorite song of all

Is the song of the redeemed

When lost sinners now made clean

Lift their voices loud and strong

When those purchased by His blood

Lift to Him a song of love

Nothing more He'd rather hear

Nor so pleasing to His ear

As His favorite song of all

He loves to hear the angels as they sing

"Holy, holy is the Lamb"

(Holy, holy, holy is the Lamb)

Heaven's s sing in harmony

Lift up praises to the great "I Am"

(Hallelujah, Hallelujah)

But He lifts His hands for silence

When the weakest saved by grace begins to sing

And a million angels listen as a newborn soul sings

"I have been redeemed"

It's not just melodies and harmonies

that catches His attention

It's not clever lines and phrases

that cause Him to stop and listen

But when any heart set free

Washed and bought by Calvary begins to sing

Holy, holy, holy is the Lamb

Hallelujah,

52 Weeks of Family: Week 24 = Spring Break

Somewhere in the middle of Day 57 of our two weeks of Snowmagadeon in February, I declared "Momma is DONE" and I literally googled 'cheap flights to somewhere warm'.  A stellar deal popped up to San Diego and I immediately booked us flights for spring break. Just knowing we would be warm and breathing the air in a different place was carrot enough for me to get through the rest of a particularly brutal winter. And I knew the closer we got to travel, what a test of where we were actually at as a new family this trip would actually be. Isaac is a stellar traveler, but he has never had to share me on a plane. Would all our previous successful strategies work? How many triggers would traveling provide for Mila? The last time she was on a plane, she was taken away from all that she knew.  The last time she was at a beach it was with her lifelong orphanage sisters and Nana. She has never stayed in a hotel before. Our schedule would be off. Food would be different. Gramma and Annie would not be with us. How would I take her to the bathroom on the plane?? What would I do with Isaac? Between home, plane, airports and rental cars there would be 15 different transitions to prepare her for before we even started to 'have fun'. This felt a bit like a recipe for disaster. Not to mention, there would be no way for me to relax traveling alone with two kids who essentially need full care. How in the world would this work??  There was only one way to find out...

Mila:

We started talking about going on a plane four days before hand; that only Momma, Mila and Isaac were going on a plane. It was a short plane and we were going to the beach. Planes are fun and then we would come back home. I did everything I could think of to help you understand that this flight would be totally different than the last one (including giving you medicine so you would vomit during take off & landing)  You did GREAT! And even told Gramma off when she showed up to take us to the airport: "No Gramma! Momma, Mila, Isaac. Flam-ly. No Gramma. All done. Bye-Bye"  As soon as you realized that you could watch FROZEN in the seat back in front of you, you were sold! 

Hamburgers are your love language!  And I let you decide what to eat at every meal...and every meal you chose a hamburger with a big cheesy smile!

 And because it was vacation, we snuck in some ice cream as well (you ate ALL of that burger AND the ice cream PLUS a basket of fries. I seriously don't know where your 95pound frame puts it). 

Overlooking La Jolla with my girly.

You know this face makes me crack up...and you make it as often as you can. We've dubbed it 'the Mila' and your brother has started making this face too *wink*

You really enjoyed the aquarium at UC SanDiego (a MUCH cheaper option than SeaWorld). And when the large group of field trip 1st graders caught up with us, you froze but let me nuzzle into you. I feel like I've been able to read you much better recently and help you through feeling overwhelmed. That was a win for both of us. 

Soaking in the sun at SeaPort Village.

My Mediterranean girl made it to the Pacific Ocean! You visited the Adriatic Sea with the Sisters at the orphanage every summer which is WAY warmer than the Pacific in the spring. You clearly were at ease walking on the beach and approaching the water. I honestly forgot to tell you the water wasn't going to be warm...

"Mooooommmmm!  Coooolllllddddd!"  You were SO offended!

You officially have a frequent flyer mileage account and you figured out quickly that chilling with your kindle and a bucket of snacks for a few hours is not too shabby.  Also the giggles that bubbled from you during take off and landing had our whole section smiling with you <3 

Isaac:

You get so many compliments when we travel. It makes me so proud. I suspect people are expecting a wild child on the plane, but you are a true professional and everyone around us is always so delighted to travel next to you. Good job buddy!

We kept no schedule and I opted to say YES to a lot of food and activities I usually say no to, including arcade games.  But this time it was different. Our little $10 arcade card went fast but you both got to pick games that you wanted to play and you walked away with a 50cent plastic yoyo shaped like a hamburger with your tickets, so everyone won! *wink*

We visited La Jolla Veterans Memorial on Mount Soledad. You asked for this photo, which made me happy because you've been asking where the "big purple T" was in church since last Easter (a lovely cross draped with purple cloth)

Watching the seal lions at La Jolla Cove:

Goofing around in Old Town:

"Mom! Big Fish!" at the Birch Aquarium.  The Lord blessed me with being able to see several whales and a pod of dolphins breaching off the coast while we were at this Aquarium!

I've never seen you play like this before. For nearly 30 min you explored this water table, creating different walls and dams in the water. You LOVED it (and even showed your sister how to play too!)

 It was cooler than I had hoped, but we made it to Coronado beach and you ran and ran and ran chasing all the birds, just like you do at home. <3

My stellar traveler making his way back home.

Me:

One of the bigger mysteries was if and how I was going to be able to enjoy this trip. I set my expectations pretty darn low and got creative: One of my favorite shows is Diners Drive Ins & Dives on the Food Network so I checked to see if any DDD restaurants were near our hotel---turns out there were!  The kids could have cared less, but this was fun for me to order fun & creative food while they munched on their nuggets and hamburgers.  Creme Brulee French Toast one morning and goat cheese stuffed squash flower with poached egg and hollandase sauce the next...YUMM. 

I also took advantage of our smaller than expected hotel room to lay in the dark with my sleeping kiddos and listen to an audio-book uninterrupted for several hours each night.  What a treat! (Also, I highly recommend "Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine" if you are looking for a great fiction read/listen). 

And even though I only got three photos of the two of them together, I didn't fight when one kiddo didn't want to take photos; I am happy that I got 1:1 photos with each kiddo when they were feeling up to cooperating. 

And when I finally said "Listen you two, Momma wants a smiling photo of all of us together. Are you ready?" they complied...

Probably the most surprising event that helped make this trip mine, was discovering that one of our Bamboo families from Minnesota just happened to be vacationing in San Diego at the same time as us! We met (for the first time face to face!) for breakfast and fellowshipped freely.  What a blessing to be able to speak the same language, if you will, with other like minded adoption families. This time together fed me. 

(Also, Isaac was the most perfect little gentleman to his new little friend Will)

We did it. We had a successful vacation, just the three of us and we found ways for all of us to have a great time. This makes me excited for what lays ahead of us in the future!