Photo-A-Day 2018: Holiday Edition {Days 2-5}

{DAY 2}: Bringing in Christmas takes muscles

{DAY 3}: Christmas Tree Farm Snuggles

{DAY 4}: Raising a new Packer fan

{DAY 5}: Christmas Card Assembly Line

To be continued...

52 Weeks of Family: Week 5

Mila:

We've crossed off a couple more medial boxes this week. First, was the pediatric ophthalmologist.  You've got a couple of issues (nystagmus, strabismus & congenital cataracts) in addition to needing to correct your vision, but none need to be surgically corrected immediately. I am glad for this as it will give us a year or so to work on your English so I can better explain things to you. 

We also got your blood work back (all normal!) and the results of your x-rays. A notable congenital hip issue was overlooked when you were a baby and you've somehow made it 13 years without any major issues. We'll see a pediatric orthopedist and get a plan in place. I suspect a major surgery will be needed but not emergently.   

Your expressive English is coming along!  I know your receptive language is much further along, but it is often difficult to get your brain and your tongue to connect. My personal favorite Mila-ism right now is yelling "Isaaci, PLEEEESE come HERE!" when you actually want to say "please stop".  You have literally backed yourself into the wall yelling COME HERE with Isaac continuing to come toward you with a very confused look on his face--he clearly wants to stop, but you keep beckoning him! It's so hard for me not to laugh as I rescue you both. 

Your FROZEN obsession is in full force. Every day you ask for AnnaElsa! (Frozen). And when I need to say no, you ask for reassurance that tomorrow is still a possibility to visit your beloved princesses.  In my ultimate wisdom I attempted to share with you that Anna & Elsa are actually sisters. Isn't that fun?  You nodded your head, walked away, stopped..then walked back with a shocked look on your face.  "Motër?!" (Sister?!)  Yes!  I said, thrilled to pieces that I communicated a familial concept with you: Motër.  Your face got the giddiest look and then I realized...you only know the word Moter/Sister in relation to the Sisters of Charity...of the global Catholic Church!  I'm now pretty sure you think Sister Anna & Sister Elsa, as you've taken to calling them, are on sabbatical from their Call *facepalm*. I bet you that is a plot twist the Walt Disney Company never considered! 

You also had your first Thanksgiving!  Such a busy week for you!  Explaining the cultural context was nearly impossible, so we talked about the spiritual one...we give thanks to our generous God for ALL that He has done and continues to do for us, including creating families. This you seemed to understand and took joy in helping put together Thanksgiving baskets at church:

Isaac:

You turned EIGHT this week and are doing such a good job stepping into a leadership role with your sister. I often ask you to "show Mila how a family does this" and you jump at the opportunity to model a behavior. Recently you've capitalized on your previous FROZEN obsession to help feed Mila in hers. I "caught" you bringing your Sven & Kristoff into your sister's room to show her how to play with her Anna & Elsa. Sweet boy.  You've also learned that when sister is sad you can bring her her kindle already prepped to the Frozen story book and that makes her very happy. 

I never would have expected this, but YOU have picked up some Albanian phrases from Mila! So much so I've had to update your teachers in case you decide to spice up your ASL & Isaac-English with you know, one of the more popular of world languages...Albanian.   When I hear "john-john!" (gentle) from the other room I know your sister is being a bit too rough, but there is always a hug & kiss at the end.

Me:

You've been much more tired this week and it took a few minutes to figure out why---between running to medial appointments, Isaac's birthday, the extra pie baking, Thanksgiving and ushering in Christmas you've had little time to rest. You've also needed to dial back some of the Disneyland-parenting that is often needed when winning the heart of a new child. It's not a bad thing; the transition needs to be made sooner or later (too late has it's own issues), but that little dose of reality as the adrenaline of transition is wearing off can amplify the physical fatigue. You've picked some Netflix shows to watch soon and are working on a list of Christmas projects YOU want to do after the kids go to bed--good job. Loving a new child into a family isn't a sprint, it's a lifelong marathon.

Also...your daughter asked twice this week if you were giving her Raki, a traditional Albanian home brew. You should probably follow up with the Sisters on that. 

Photo A Day 2018: Holiday Edition {Day 1}

I've done this holiday photo project between Thanksgiving & Christmas the last several years, and with exception of the first year, I've loved doing it. For some strange reason it forces pro-activity during a relatively hectic season. It also forces pause. Stop to take the picture, yes, but stop and reflect---are we doing just for the sake of doing? Or am I building memories for my children with meaning & purpose? More importantly, are we pursing Christ through this season of celebration? I want the answer to always be YES. 

I wasn't sure I wanted to do this project this year, having just brought Mila home and already journaling once per week through her first year home. Surely this was too much! While kvetching with my BFF on the phone, she jokingly mentioned her co-worker was doling out free advice that day, so I left the ultimate decision in the hands of a virtual stranger at Pine Meadow Elementary School in central Minnesota. (Why not?) 

He said YES. 

So here we go...

{DAY 1}: New Thanksgiving Tradition--pie for breakfast.

Happy 8th Birthday Isaac!

My baby boy is EIGHT.  I don't even know how that is possible. EIGHT.

This last year has been tremendous for him, growing physically (another two inches!) and also emotionally. His compassionate heart is evident in his interactions with his friends and family, as well as his sense of humor--dude is funny!

When your family is on adoption lock-down, you have a teeny little pirate party...and have a great time!

Traditional Happy Birthday 'circle toast' breakfast with honey butter *wink* (his FAVORITE).

Birthday dinner:

Isaac you are a treasure that I could not have found on my own if I tried. I love your wit and sense of adventure and willingness to try new things...and even your seemingly unending energy (how do you do it??). Your heart breaks for those who hurt and looking to provide comfort comes so easily to you. I am proud to be your forever momma and want you to always know how much you are loved on this earth and in Heaven. 

Happy 8th Birthday sweet boy. 

52 Weeks of Family: Week 4

Mila:

No medical appointments this week...but don't get too comfortable, more are coming. I promise. 

The extra time in the schedule made room for your 'first' haircut. You weren't too sure what to think of having someone else wash your hair and you definitely did not like the blow dryer (methinks there were some actual Albanian swearing taking place) but we were happy with the results. It was the same sweet lady who gave Isaac his first hair cut and she was thoughtful enough to give us a momento---I LOVE that it has your age!

We had a couple of moments this week where you clearly were telling me this crazy vacation to America needs to be over. We Skyped with one of our Albanian friends who helped translate--you listed your favorite person (not me), and your six favorite people after that (also not me); then you graciously put me at Number 8...on a list of 8. My heart breaks for the confusion you must be feeling and I so wish I had a better way to help you process it, but rest assured I am not offended. This whole crazy roller coaster is about helping build trust & safety. Thankfully, you are always comforted by listening to Albanian worship...and the next day you moved me up to your FOURTH favorite person (the three in front of me are pretty solid choices, I have to give you that *wink*)

When you needed some extra motivation to get ready in the morning, Mommy let you listen to worship music while you showered. 

We found some fun by adding an Anna to your Elsa (you are CRAZY into "Frozen" right now, which awesome!). And we had a play date with some our Bamboo friends. You have renamed their two Bamboo daughters after your BFFs in Shkodra. I have to laugh at what I can only imagine your inner dialog must be: "Listen folks, there is too much to remember and all you Americans look alike, so here is the deal...you two; the short ones with Down syndrome: my friends in Albanian were Lola & Erika, so you too shall also be Lola & Erika. There is no point in reinventing the naming wheel. Moving on.". 

Your first craft project!  "Olaf" 

I have to say, the ABSOLUTE BEST part of the week is when you saw the Christmas display at the store. Your eyeballs about popped out of your pretty little head. MOMMY! LOOK!  Christmas is a time for love! (the only lyrics you know from Isaac's Psalty's Christmas Calamity CD that you both have been listening to nonstop) You inspected each display. Every ornament and light. You even requested a photo in front of one of the empty trees. It nearly had me in tears...just wait until next week, sweet heart..."Christmas is a time for love" will be IN OUR HOUSE!!!  

Isaac:

You had your own medical appointments this week...a full ENT tune up in the operating room, and you did GREAT.  By some miracle your hearing is actually getting better. There is no explaining that but we'll take the victory all the same. 

You too have figured out that this Sister situation is permanent. You seriously love her and want to be with her at all times, but sometimes sisters don't want little brothers in their room or chasing them while you are naked having escaped from the bathtub without me looking (that was a good squeal she had, but we still can't do that, even if Momma is laughing too).  Extra structure and extra snuggles have been needed, but I know you will bounce back. This is a BIG change for you too. I know your heart is growing along with your long-legged body to make room for this crazy flam-ly of ours. 

Me:

You have WILDLY underestimated the increase of milk consumption with the addition of an extra human in the house. Seriously...we are at the store "just picking up milk", like every other day. Get it together...just buy two gallons while you are there to begin with!

Of all the goofy things, both your children love watching "The Great British Baking Show" with you. You three snuggle up on the couch and watch one episode at a time. In fact, as SOON as the Netflix logo shows up on the screen Mila screeches "Ohhhhh. CAKE!"  (You kinda don't have the heart to tell her N-E-T-F-L-I-X doesn't spell cake.) The next hour is filled with one child practicing his baking skills with his own kitchen tools on the couch and the other learning her English by calling out 'chocolate', 'strawberry'. 'lemon', 'eggs'. 'ohhh, beautiful!"  It's unconventional, but it's working!

The Best Part of the Day

Hands down, this is the best part of the day--mine & theirs. I had worried, hoped and prayed over their relationship but the Lord's has clearly divined something very special between these two. Thank you Father. <3 

52 Weeks of Family: Week 3

Mila:

You are rocking these medical appointments!  We crossed off 10 vials of blood, a cardiology visit and a series of xrays this week. You DO NOT like needles but we figured out a good way to do what needed to be done and you got to pick your first real toy afterwards. The great news from your cardiologist was that your heart is PERFECT. No issues whatsoever so we'll just piggy back on Isaac's visit in 5 years for a quick check and call it good. Hallelujah!

So many things are new for you. The automatic garage door has been a particular fascination and when just you and I went to the grocery store this week you couldn't stop laughing at the milk behind the freezer doors!  I couldn't figure out what that was funny but you sure did!  I can tell what you have been exposed to and what is truly new (or was previous forbidden perhaps?)--the store was easy for you, including bagging the groceries. But the kitchen is still an awkward space for you. You don't ask for food or water. You don't explore the cabinets or stand along side me as I cook. When I showed you how to fill your own water bottle in the door of the fridge you provided a VERY clear "no thank you". Okie dookie. I can fill your water bottle; that is a small detail in our lives. The important point is that you KNOW that food and water will always be available. We'll work our way into having food preferences and initiating your own food stability in the future. There is no rush.  

After Isaac goes to school, you and I have some sort of social activity every day along with your homeschooling studies. (You are slaying the ABC's by the way!).  You had your first play date with your cousins Noah, Elli and Max---but mostly Elli 'cuz she likes to do girl stuff. *wink* They are totally in love with you, sweet girl. 

You had a special surprise call this week from your Nana (long term caregiver) and three besties in Shkodra. You were so excited to tell them about your house (and fish!) in America and I heard each of the girls ask about your room *wink*.  I also heard your Nana and a couple Sisters remind you to listen to your new Mommy and to pray every day---excellent advice!
You also got a call from our Sassy Polish Sister Friend and the Sisters in Elbasan later in the week. That call was a bit harder for your little heart. Oh how you squealed to see your favorite ladies! You told them about Isaac's school, and going to church and also your two fish (said it in English too!). But your heart was heavy when we needed to see Bye-sheem. Oh to be loved by so many wonderful people. I'm praying I can show you that all of this love can help heal the grief. You are old enough to be aware of if not understand the loss you have endured. I can't make the loss go away, but we can bathe you in our love and the Perfect Love of the One who made you <3

Isaac:

You started school again this week after being gone for two weeks. I thought maybe you'd have a rough time transitioning back but you did AWESOME.  One of the school staff reported: "EVERYONE in the building knows about Isaac's new sister".  haha. Good job buddy.  I know you were thinking about us during the day because of how you signed your name on your worksheet:

You have learned that you can make your sister laugh, in classic little brother style. Dancing silly, making funny noises, or eating nachos with your ENTIRE face (my particular favorite)

But she also LOVES you for you. Not only did Mila need a brother, she needed YOU, Isaac.

Me:

Congrats! You figured out how to get all three members of the household up, showered, dressed, fed and out the door in the mornings without any major issues (plus feed the fish!). It's not exactly an attractive process but it's effective!  You've also seriously upped your french braiding skills and Mila seems to like it, which is the ultimate test. The days feel manageable right now without going to work but you still have time to ease into that.  The favorite part of the day for everyone is when you pick Isaac up from school...to see your children run into each other's arms like a slow motion beach scene absolutely melts your heart.
Hands down the best part of the week was sitting as a family of three at church this week. Isaac was shouting his hallelujahs with this arms in the arm, and your new Catholic daughter let her inner Pentecostal LOOSE! Singing, clapping, shouting Amen, and lifting her arms to the Lord in worship. Is there anything more precious then presenting your family holy to the Lord? I couldn't help but let the tears flow...'here we are Father, imperfect as we are, we are at Your throne offering all that we are.'