Photo-A-Day Holiday Edition {Days 1-5}

I challenged myself last year during the holidays to capture at least one photo per day documenting our lives between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I thought it would be a cool project...but mostly I hated doing it (don't tell!). I had given myself permission to use whatever photog-device was closest and to have fun with it, but most days it was 9 o'clock at night and I felt pressured to "act natural" and take a picture already. I swore I would never do it again. Until, last month when I caught myself flipping through last year’s photos and smiling. Apparently, the return on the (painful) investment is worth it. So...here we go. We are doing it again:

{Day 1: Thanksgiving Day}

Isaac had a planned surgery the day before, so I our day was a low key one at home. We still got to sit at the table, use my fun pumpkin dishes and give many, many thanks. Isaac's prayer: "Dear Jesus. Tank Uuuu. Ahhman"

{Day 2: My not so helpful decorating partner}

He was supposed to be supervising me as I put up the Christmas tree, then he was a bit too quiet for a bit too long. I found him hidden behind the tree watching a show on my phone. Stinker. 

{Day 3: Watson's Nursery}
We took a field trip to Watson's Nursery to see what we could see and Isaac found THE PERFECT plant-tree-thing that he simply had to have. (He also had to have 9 other pretty plants). He picked this one out first and posed for a pic--pointing to my camera and saying cheese to prompt me to get my act together. If anyone sees Santa before I do, ask him to bring my kid some personality. Seems he is lacking. ;)

{Day 4: Christmas Books}
He found the basket of Christmas books while I was cleaning up our decorating mess. Apparently, Bear needed to have some book time too.

{Day 5: Freezing Fog}
I didn't even know freezing fog was a thing...but just look how beautiful it is!

Isaac Worshiping

Once per month in the church I grew up at as a young child, all the children would be kept in the worship and adult service instead of going to their Kids Church classes. I assume this was to give the dedicated Sunday school staff a much needed break, but whether it was intended or not, it gave us kids an exposure to worship and the Word that was preparing us for life after pipe-cleaner crafts.  I have a very distinct memory of being in Sunday service, not old enough to even see over the pew, looking up at my mother who was wholly engrossed in worship of our God. In reality from my view I could probably only see her elbows and up her nostrils, but what my little eyes witnessed was my mother in relationship with the Creator of the universe. Clearly, it made an impact as 30+ years later I can still recall specifics of the day.

With that in mind, I've made it a habit to keep Isaac in worship service with me on Sunday mornings. At the beginning he would bop his head to the praise music and sleep peacefully through worship. There was an occasional clapping solo interjected. In time he started imitating raising his hands and praying for others. Over the last few months he has taken to full on dancing in the aisle during praise and during worship asking to be held in my arms in the exact position he can see best the front stage, his arms extended in worship. (Also the frequent chiding to those around us to “get up!”).

This week however, Isaac took his worship to a whole new level…he escaped and be-lined it to the podium to lead song service with our worship pastor! I was just 3 steps behind ready to swoop him away when I was given the signal to let him come.  You guys…watching your child worship from his toes can just about melt a person. I hunched down in the front row and cried. (Half the people behind me were in tears as well).

Thankfully, our friend photog-friend Cassandra “just happen” to have brought her camera to church (thank you Holy Spirit!) and the whole event was captured on Livestream. I’ve added the link below (minutes 8:30-12:40, although I recommend listening to the entirety of Pastor Steve’s sermon on Thanks of Faith).

So thankful for a church family that does not hinder my child and his expression of love for his Maker. Also VERY thankful that unlike King David in worship, Isaac chose to keep his clothes on *wink* 

Northwest Church 9AM Thanksgiving Worship

Tears In Your Bottle

(This is our monthly post over at No Hands But Ours!)

I caught myself staring at my little Chinese boy tonight as he fell asleep in my arms. So much has changed in our three plus years together. He is a whopping five years old now, has gained 15 pounds and grown 10 inches among other things. Our lives together is so normal now, it's almost easy to forget that our little family had a ‘start date’; that we haven’t always been mother & son. 

When I think back to our first night together...after the Gotchya and the photos and the paperwork, there was an hour and half we had together alone in the hotel room while the rest of the family went and found much needed food...when I think of that first time together as a family, I recall the tears.  I should remember his soft skin, or the feel of his freshly shaved head or his sweet Asian smell. But what is burned into my memory are the tears of sorrow we cried together; just us, as a family.  

You could tell he was physically and emotionally exhausted. His tiny body fell prone on the silky hotel bed covering and my new son wept from his soul. It was a deep heart-broken cry that I could provide absolutely no comfort for. I sat next to him praying and rubbing his sweet legs sobbing with him, drenching the back of his brand new American pajamas. I could only imagine his grief; good God, would I ever be able to help him heal??  When he finally exhausted himself and fell asleep I had to move him out of the puddle we both had created. 

It would be easy to look back at those 90 minutes as the most terrifying or traumatic moment in our family history (which at that time was only 3 hours old!). But that hour and a half was in no way traumatic; it was holy. Those precious tears soaking the bed sheets of a Chinese Sheraton created the covenant of our family. A bond that only I would have the power to break. My new child owed me nothing and never will, I had chosen to love him forever and help carry whatever burden he may have, including his grief. And in that same moment I gave my family to our Heavenly Father who said the same to me: you are enough as you are; I love you freely and will carry every burden you will ever have. 

There are so many different tears that define a family, especially an adoption family. The tears of grief and sorrow. Tears of physical pain, heartache and of fatigue. Tears of anger and tears of overwhelmedness. And for those who have battled post adoption depression, tears from a deep unknown, but they scream that you are still trying, still seeking a way. I can imagine that those tears are terrifying. The tears of joy come in time though. We know this because He who also wept (John 11:35) promised us they would (Psalm 126:5)..."those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting!"

That is probably what I was feeling tonight as I held my not-so-little boy, on the verge of crying for utter joy. Just look what the Lord has done with those first tears of fear and confusion! And every tear since. Each one so very precious to the Lord. Of so much treasure He collects and records them all.

 “You have collected ALL my tears in your bottle.

 You have recorded EACH one in your book” (Psalms 56:8)

There is deep comfort and promise in these two lines from King David. No tear in our human walk on this earth is wasted; no tear in any part of our adoption journey--ours or our child's--is expended carelessly. Each fragile drop protected and secured.  I imagine in Heaven that we will bow at our Savior's throne in final surrender and wash His feet with the tears of our bottle:

Through our tears of sorrow and grief…You comforted!

Through our tears of fear and anger…You provided!

Through our tears of joy and thankfulness…You reigned!

Happy 5th Birthday Isaac!

My little boy turns FIVE today...which I guess means he is not so little any more. *sniff sniff*

He wears only jeans now. Those super soft jumper pants with the animal heads on the bum...are packed away. *heart break* He collects rocks and puts them in the pockets of said jeans. (A present for me on laundry day, I assume??) and wears a baseball cap around the house.  He likes to stomp down the hallway roaring like a dinosaur and he yells profusely at the TV during NFL games (not sure where he got that from...Gramma!) He can bust a serious move in the aisle at church during praise and worship and he cheers WILDLY every time Goliath gets hit in the head with David's stone (VeggiTales: Dave & the Giant Pickle). His imagination is starting to blossom and you can see him stop and problem solve a new situation or scenario. He has a wicked good memory and will even hold things against me that I've promised and forgotten (not to shabby for a kiddo with a speech delay).  

There are areas of character development that we are focusing on (what five year old isn't?), but this momma's heart is proud to see him initiate prayer over other people, correct a wrong on his own, and even sing the Doxology at dinner. His heart is soft soil and I am eager to plant all that I can in there, whether he is paying attention at the moment or not. 

I think I'm excited for this next year. Five seems like such a significant age. We are planning ahead for kindergarten and researching organized sports, which seems absolutely crazy to me. He was seriously JUST learning to walk! Age five is also the start of my personal goal for Isaac (& I) to visit all 50 states before he graduates high school. (Doesn’t that sound like so much fun?!)

Earlier this week we celebrated Isaac’s special day with the greater family. While his heart still belongs to Elmo, Curious George is a close second, thus Man in the Yellow Hat ring toss and Pin the Banana on the Monkey with the cousins. Isaac made us sing Happy Birthday to him three times, so I think he had a good day. J

He was SO excited!

Isaac's special day started in a special way!

And tonight we celebrated his special day at his favorite restaurant…The Rain Forest Cafe. 

Mom...the elephants are MOVING!

The only 5 year old in the world that gets excited about getting 10 kids worship CDs for his birthday. <3

Happy 5th birthday, sweet boy!  

You are more than I could have ever expected and I am so very glad I get to be your momma. 

Adoption Sunday 2015

We've had a couple more interviews/publications this month about our beloved Bamboo Project. I could seriously talk about those precious children and their amazing families and the incredible families yet to come ALL DAY LONG. Which is good, I suppose because we've been asked to talk about them a lot lately. :)  

In this National Adoption Month, (today specifically as it is Adoption Sunday) when the Christian community highlights God's Gospel plan of adoption for us all through our human call to orphan care, it is easy to get overwhelmed. I am sure many church services today showed graphics like this:

If you attempted to crunch the numbers during service you figured out quickly there are more than enough churches (and hopefully Bible-believing Christians in those churches) to effectively eliminate the 'orphan problem' in our own country. In my state alone, if ONE family from EVERY OTHER church across the state stepped forward and welcomed a hurting child into their home...BOOM. Foster care system DONE. 

I love these kind of graphics because it shows the reality that is before us as humans and that change can be VERY effective. It is meant to make an impact. But I also hate these kind of graphics because it can isolate and overwhelm people who should otherwise be filled with loving action. It's a bit like drinking from the fire hose. Good grief, as far as James 1:27 goes...North Dakota is looking pretty appealing! 

The issue is, God hasn't called 27,550 churches from the great state of Texas to adopt 13,154 children waiting in foster care. God called you and me to care for one: To take one step. To say yes when it is hard. To be filled with compassion for the one laying on the side of the road (Luke 10: 30-37). Then one step leads to two. And as we are filled with faith, two yeses will become three. And as our eyes are opened, the Holy Spirit breaks our hearts for more. 

This is one of the reasons I am so passionate about The Bamboo Project. I am one person; I can't adopt all the babies everywhere. (I want to!). But I can pray for fourteen. I can get on my knees and fight for twenty-two BEAUTIFUL faces on a flyer. I can write a little article after my own child goes to bed. I can share our story with a reporter on my lunch break. I can with all my might say "Lord, here is my physical & emotional ability...my five loves and two fishes. You take it and do the rest"(John 6:1-14). 

For those feeling overwhelmed or inadequate or discouraged with the magnitude of the call to orphan care...please don't be. I bet our God has planted a skill or talent or passion in you that can be used perfectly to care for one, or two or fourteen. <3 

If you would like to read the most recent articles about The Bamboo Project you can find them here at Bethany Christian Services' Lifeline magazine and Today's Christian Woman. 

National Adoption Month 2015

November is National Adoption Month and Isaac & I have been asked to participate in a couple of different media events this month, talking about my two favorite things...my family and the Bamboo Project. What an absolute privilege! It is my prayer that in every opportunity we have to speak about our lives through adoption that God's heart for his precious children would be heard. (1 Peter 4:11)

There are several different articles coming out this month. This one, in Adoption Today magazine, is one that I co-wrote with one of the lovely international adoption social workers at Bethany Christian Services.  Everyday she and her team advocates for children before they have families; in fact, her team loved our children before we ever knew they existed...What an amazing blessing to forever families and their children!

If you or someone you know is interested in the Bamboo Project or would like to support a Bamboo family please contact china@bethany.org or click HERE. Above all else, be praying for these sweethearts and the new forever God has planned for them!