52 Weeks of Family: Week 18

Mila:

You've had a really peaceful week; having a full week of school with your friends was much needed. I was thrilled to receive an email during the middle of my work day that you had made a new friend at school, a lovely girl from the General Ed classroom. You and she were partners during Gym class and became fast buddies.  This makes my heart so very happy. True and deep friendships has been my heart prayer for you. I hope this new friend is the first of many, many to come. 

We had an amazing meeting with your school team this week.  Everyone is SO impressed with how far you have come already! The results from your testing in December has already been voided as you've surpassed those findings already. Although, my heart breaks a little when you proudly show me your math & handwriting skills from the day on worksheets that say "preschool" on the bottom, I know your brain is absolutely soaking up everything we are giving you and you are making up for A LOT of lost time. I can tell you LOVE feeling the wheels in your brain spin and the world is opening up wide to you now. I can't wait to see what the next 7 years of schooling looks like for you!

After last week's observation that you were getting stuck finding Albanian words, you've had a serious uptick in speaking Albanian this week. Gramma and all your teachers have noticed too! Long diatribes detailing parts of your day and people and things ALL in Albanian (or at least I think that's what you are talking about!). And when you get stuck, you have a stock phrase that get's inserted at the end of any verbal paragraph until you get finding your footing again:  "Mommy neeshie, Te dua forte, Let it Go!" (Mommy is Number One, I love you very much, Let it Go!)  If I'm on my A game I can usually say it before you do and you look at me with such shock and amazement as if I'm some how reading your teenage brain.  I smugly shrug my shoulders: Don't look at me like that. Mommy is Number One, you said it yourself! *wink*

We got out of the house and took you BOWLING.  If that won't make or break you in the sensory department, nothing will!  YOU. LOVED. IT!  And even though you were using the ramp, you got THREE stinking strikes!  Between you & your brother, I think we may have a mini bowling team in the making. 

Isaac:

You have had two settings this week: Sleep and Loud. Loud talking, loud singing, loud playing, loud walking, loud eating, loud putting on your socks.  This winter has been a long one for you, coupled with a little growth spurt you have an abundance of energy that is oozing out of your pores. Wowzers. When I've asked how you are doing at school (honestly expecting a less than stellar report) I'm getting raves reviews, which I'm very thankful for. Your Off Switch however has been quick and random. I'm never quite sure how I'm going to find you sacked out in the evenings:

Cold and snow is predicted nearly every day again for the next 10 days so I've been turning up the music after dinner and letting you dance it out. Going bowling was a big hit this week too! You did a good job showing your sister how to play the game...even when you bounced the 8 pound ball over two lanes and helped someone else get a spare!  *facepalm*

While waiting for our lane to open we grabbed some lunch, you were insistent on paying the bill all by your self (with MY wallet). You did a great job making sure your sister and Momma were well taken care of at lunch. Those will be good skills to have for the ladies in your future...as long as you bring your own wallet!

Me:

I've NEEDED worship several times this week. Seriously, NEEDED it. I have to get creative to have my spiritual self fed into. Corporate worship is often distracted with one child climbing on my back or the other one needing to go to the bathroom, so my worship time is usually in the car to & from work. And then  I watch the weekly sermon at home after the kids have gone to bed. After six plus years of not having a full sermon, this is truly the best option. But I do love watching my kids learning how to worship, pray and study the Word as a family.  Mila absolutely worships from her toes!  She gets so excited and is so sensitive to the Spirit moving she simply wiggles with glee! Last week she squealed and clapped her own solo between songs "YESSSSS!  Church!!"  And Isaac is becoming a strong prayer warrior! He loves to lay his hands on people and pray over them with passion.  During prayer circles (of all adults, mind you), I've begun asking him if he wants to pray for XYZ and he eagerly squeezes his eyes shut and delivers an intercession I know the Spirit is moved by.  At home, we've been walking through a weekly Family Devotion:

We ALL genuinely look forward to reading, listen, and watching the lesson and then praying together and it makes my heart proud to see the children the Lord entrusted to me learning to listen and respond to their Maker.   It makes the days that I've NEEDED worship, totally worth it. 

52 Weeks of Family: Week 17

Mila:

We got you OUTSIDE in the snow!!  A Snowmagedon miracle!  You didn't like it, but you also didn't HATE it so I'll take the win. 

After two long weeks of not having a full day of school due to the weather, you finally got to go back to see your friends. You. Were. SOOOO. Excited.  You, my child, need regular social input outside of your family and being cooped up in the house was darn near torture for you. I'm so sorry. When we get snow again in 10 years, I'll plan ahead better. 

Valentines Day hot chocolate date with Mommy. <3  I'm secretly glad you have a sweet tooth.  Your brother does not (how is that possible?!), and I haven't been able to blame him for any missing treats in the house for years.  You, my daughter, are my new accomplice/scape goat!

You've had a couple of really great one-liners this week:

• When asked who so-n-so is in a picture: "Oh Mommy! (with great exasperation) I don't know! (perfect English). 
• Mila, are you hungry?   "Eh"   Do you want to eat?  *shrugs*  Do you want a cheeseburger? YES!
• Upon walking into your first IMAX theater at the science museum: you stopped, mouth dropped open, your arms flew as wide as you could get them, and you dropped your voice as low as it could go "BIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGG TV!"  
• Sneaking up to the Google mini in the kitchen "Hey kookle. MuSIK. Let it Go"   (I have now had to change the voice recognition on the google device!)

Isaac:

You've actually done really well with all the snow days. You are a kiddo that enjoys adventure and the unknown of 14 days of snow days was almost it's own love language to you. But, like your sister, you REALLY like going back to school and seeing your friends too. 

Your go-to game during quiet time...cups. Stack, unstack, rearrange, throw, dump, rinse, lather, repeat. Best $2.99 I've ever spent.

You have struggled with separation anxiety since you were newly home and helping you feel safe when Momma is out of sight has been an ongoing goal for more than six years.  Just in the last 18 months I haven't needed to remind you that "Momma always comes back" when I drop you at school or when you are with Gramma for a few hours. This alone has felt like a big breakthrough!  But then this conversation happened this week when we visited Gramma's as a family with no intent of anyone staying behind:

Isaac: Momma? Black car. Bye Bye. Stop. Weft. Be right back. ok?  Bye!

Me:  Oh really?!  You want me to go? Go in our car (it's black), go to the stop sign and take a left (the direction of my work) and then I can come back?  You don't want me to stay?  

Isaac:  Bye, Momma!

I had just been kicked out of my own mother's house!  She loved me first, by the way!!

Me:

Even with only a day & a half of school this week, getting back into a normal--not stuck in the house looking at each other--routine was good for EVERYone.  We celebrated Valentines Day with a special dinner at home and spent the day at the Science Center over the weekend to help provide some structure. I've already planned Spring Break and I'm tackling our Summer schedule with a different strategy than in years past. Two weeks of snow days can motivate a girl to change things up!   

One thing I am learning about these two, is how wildly different they are.  Isaac is adventurous and craves new excitement, but gets overwhelmed with new people and lack of structure.  Mila shys away from unknowns, but is a social butterfly and adapts well in crowds of people.  I'm sure some of it is their age differences and genders; a good portion is their pasts up to this point.  I'm seeking wisdom and creativity on how to fill their individual tanks on the micro and macro levels. 

52 Weeks of Family: Week 16

Mila:

We are in the midst of Snowmagedon 2019--the biggest winter storm in 10 years and the most snow in Feb in over 70 years! You are NOT a fan. You do like to see the snow through the window, but walking out into the fluffy white stuff is, apparently, not negotiable. I was super excited when you agreed to put boots on so we could go to the store between storm fronts...but then I parked "too close to the snow" and we had to get creative to help you in and out of the car.  You are pretty funny when I try to convince you snow is a fun thing around here:  

Me:  Mila, look at the snow! Isn't it beautiful?! 
Mila: No Mommy. No beautiful. Cold. Bye-bye Elsa.    

haha!  If I could cancel "Elsa" for you, I would. Sorry honey. The weather-dudes say she is going to be here for a while.  And we will need to leave the house again at some point... 

In other news, you are "allowing" more sibling time. This makes me happy and I make sure to tell you.   You even brought your brother his water bottle one afternoon all on your own and I nearly smothered you with hugs afterwards!  

New Mila-phrases (that I hope never go away):

• Ole Cookie  = okie dokie
• Nick-a-nanny = Mrs. Kennedy (one of your teachers. I've requested that she formally change her name 'cuz nick-a-nanny is a keeper!)

You've also sprouted with sign language this week!  This is so great in so many levels: excellent for your fine motor skills, amazing for language development, and also for communication. Already, you've been able to use a sign when I didn't understand what you were asking for. And because your noggin is already on fire learning things right now, you think the best game ever is pointing to an item or person in the house, guessing what letter that item starts with and then finding the ASL sign to go with it. You spent an hour during one of our snow days asking me to follow you around teaching to to spell & sign!

Isaac:

Both you and your sister had a stellar orthodontics appointment this week. As I wasn't sure how Mila would respond I asked you to go first--you popped right up into the chair and took over. Even grabbing a few instruments to do your exam yourself!  (I'm told that we still have to pay our copay even if you were your own dental assistant). Neither one of you will need hardware in the foreseeable future, which is great!  Upon leaving the clinic you asked for a pair of gloves in lieu of the standard sticker. When your request was granted you ran behind the desk and firmly grabbed the face of the receptionist, looked her straight in the eyes and gave her the most sincere THANK YOU I think she may have ever received in her lifetime.  Purple nitral gloves are legit GOLD in our family economy. 

 Unlike your sister, you are LOVING Seattle's Snowmagedon!  I was watching you play freely in the snow (with no less than 9 layers of clothing on because you CANNOT get sick right now) and I couldn't help but think of YOUR first snow at home... You weren't haven't it then, either!

Now is a different story...

Me:

Snowmagedon is goofing up everyone's schedule--school, work, church. The kids didn't have a full school day once last week and I doubt they will have one this week. We are getting creative being stuck at home and thankfully I'm not going bonkers, which is a plus. What's the saying?  Happy Mom and nobody dies?  Something catchy like that. 

BOTH children are making their own school lunches and I feel like I've won the lottery!

Snow Day!!

We woke up to a bit of an unexpected winter wonderland this morning. A real live snow day!

And while Isaac and I were outside doing this...

Mila was inside doing this...

 Girlfriend was NOT having it. Clearly she is not in Albania anymore!!

Fleece pjs, hot chocolate, and vintage Mary Poppins made for a pretty good snow day in Seattle.

52 Weeks of Family: Week 15

Mila:

Neurological Reorganization is a common intervention strategy for kiddos who have traumatic pasts. Through physical and play therapy children go back and master the developmental & emotional milestones that they have missed when they were simply in survival mode. Who cares if you never play peek-a-boo, if your only goal is fundamental food and shelter.  Thankfully, you were always surrounded by women who kept you safe and loved you...but you were still in an orphanage and moved to an adult institution for developmentally & intellectually delayed adults at the age of four.  Plus, all the early interventions that kiddos with DS need, you never had access to.  All of that to say, you naturally started the neuro reorg process on your own a few weeks after coming home. It actually caught me by surprise...peek-a-boo with the shower curtain when I would help you out of the shower in the morning.  Oh the giggles!  The laughs and shrieks when you didn't know what side of the curtain my face would show up on and the look of utter joy as you finally found my face as I helped dry your adolescent body off.  This lasted weeks and then you let it transition into...crawling. Crawling to get my attention and laughing as I play chase you into the kitchen or family room. Your brain is filling in the Swiss cheese holes of emotional attachment you never had with a mother.  Trying to explain this to outsiders is difficult--why I help put on your shoes or brush your teeth or even wash your face after a meal (of course you can do these things on your own--you've been doing it for years, but not because you could, it was because you HAD to), but each of those tasks that I can introduce myself into forces the face to face engagement that you should have had at 1 and 3 and 6 when you were forced to do those skills on your own.  I was excited to share this with our Social Worker who visited this week!

I've started a new strategy of helping you interact with your little brother...overwhelming and ridiculous amounts of praise and positive reinforcement! You absolutely soak it up and seem eager to see me to crazy-bananas when you emotionally engage your own personal Asian shadow.  I feel a bit like I'm manipulating you, but I suppose that is the undertone of parenting, isn't it?  It's working though! You said 'thank you' to Isaac several times this week and even sat with him to play or share the Kindle. Slowly but surely, we'll help you open your heart to this little family of yours. 

  

In other news, you've had a major milestone.  Three times this week you left your bedroom in the morning on your own!  I know that sounds like something silly to celebrate, but you have spent your whole life locked into a dark room at night and allowed to come out only when someone unlocks the door.  If you got sick or scared or needed the bathroom or couldn't sleep you couldn't leave.  You were safe and warm and tucked in...but also locked in.  It didn't take long for me to figure this out so I left your door open, put a light on in the bathroom across from your room. I'd lovingly call for you from my room in the mornings...but always you would wait until I escorted you out.  Fifteen weeks later you ventured out on your own in the morning. First, it was turning on your light and rushing back into bed to giggle and call ME, clapping your hands wildly.  The next morning you crossed the threshold all on your own...and ran through the house giggle-shrieking like you were streaking at a football game!  You did it!! (thankfully, with your clothes on!). You feel safe enough to leave YOUR room and walk about YOUR house when YOU are done sleeping. This is a big deal. <3

Isaac:

You had a rough week this week and I'm not entirely sure why. I want to believe it's not because I'm trying to get you to sleep bed in your own bed instead of mine. (Pleeeease tell me it's not that).  You didn't start co-sleeping until you started school. Your little heart has always struggled with separation anxiety and I think you just decided "Fine. I'll go to school and I may even like it, but if you leave me for 8 hours then I'm glued to you for 8 hours a night. Fair trade." Except it's not reeaaallly a fair trade, cuz you sleep like a ninja and more often than I want to admit you put your tiny freezing toes DOWN my pajamas bottoms. DUDE, we have GOT to some boundaries! We'll keep working on it. I jokingly tell my friends that as long as you are sleeping in your own bed before prom, then it's a win...but I'm secretly hoping for second grade. 

Also...you are the king of Nacho Night!

Me:

I'm finding a groove with school drop offs and work. And actually look forward to the commute to work so I can flip on an audiobook.  I was an avid reader prior to parenting and that wasn't something I was willing to give up...adjust but not give up. My personal goal has been at least 12 books a year--in any genre, fashion or length, just keep reading/listening. In the seasons that we spent a lot of time in the hospital I counted the stack of discharge paperwork as a book and just barely made my 12 book min that year!  Most years I'm in the high teens and twenties, but I missed my goal in 2018 while we were in Albania. I hope to make up for it this year! There are a stack of hard books in the front room and a list queued on the phone all ready to go!