52 Weeks of Family: Week 35

Mila:

You finished your first (half) year of school!  Sixth & a half grade is in the books and you have come SO FAR just since January when you started.  For a girly who had never been to school AND needed to learn English at the same time...Mila, I am so very proud of you!  You now know all your letters, colors, numbers and shapes. You can recite the days of the weeks AND months of the year in order. You could barely hold a pencil 34 weeks ago, now you are writing your first and last names and starting to sound out words. You are so eager to learn and are THE social butterfly at your school.  I sent this picture to the Sisters at the orphanage and they are so proud of you too <3 

Your communication has really blossomed this week. You are actually using more Albanian but the amount and depth of what your communicating has grown. You had had a rough morning and later that day I thought I'd try to ask you why you had been sad (just like with your brother, I talk to you like you I would anyone else but don't always expect you'd know how to respond).  Your lips pursed sideways for a moment then you said "Morning?  Oh...sleepy girl. All better".  I was a bit shocked!  Not only were you able to comprehend an abstract emotional concept, you were able to apply a past tense to it AND a reassurance of a resolution.  That's kind of a big deal.  I'm so proud of you!  You are also answering open ended questions like "what happened at school today?" and "what do you want to do later?"  I ask your brother exactly 50,000 times per day where his shoes are, but you can tell me right away that your water bottle is in your room or the car or in your backpack. What a fun new trick in our household!  

Isaac:

You are a first grade graduate!  I actually got a bit teared up when I picked you up from school this week. You have come SO STINKING FAR this year emotionally, physically and academically.  Of course, I have a copy of all the official ways you aren't keeping up with your peers, but you and I also have a whole list of things you can do now that you couldn't do in September or even in February! One of those things was reading out loud to your classmates. Your teacher strategically scheduled you for the last week of school and you knocked it out of the ballpark!  You are ready for second grade in all the best ways. 

Me: 

I had an ending this week as well. After five years of working for a large health care system in the Puget Sound, I stepped down to help build up some new programs with a smaller organization in town. I am excited for the season that lays in front of my little family as I will get to work on health care projects that I am passionate about and partner with some pretty amazing ministries in the area as well. And while I will technically be working more, I will have extra flexibility to meet my family's needs. For this I am so very thankful. God is caring for us well. 

Looks like the Lord provided us a summer nanny!  Miss A did a test run with us this weekend and everyone was breathing, even smiling! when I returned from a haircut.  Miss A has experience with Special Olympics and adoption families and is starting her studies to be a pediatric nurse; I am hopeful that she will be a part of our lives for several summers to come.  

We are off on a road trip this week!  A bit different than last year---that took us through Albania and Greece. This year we'll have the excitement of Eastern Oregon, Washington and Idaho!  

52 Weeks of Family: Week 34

Mila:

You LOVE school, but you also thoroughly look forward to the weekends for the sole purpose of two words...QUIET TIME. During Quiet Time, usually after we've done a few errands or completed our field trip for the day, you get to go into your room, lock the door and turn on your FROZEN karaoke boombox. You LIVE for this. For one, two, sometimes THREE hours you listen to the FROZEN soundtrack on loop, sometimes singing at the top of your lungs, sometimes in hushed tones. I check on your frequently: "You ok?" "Yes Momma!  Awesome!" giving me a great big smile.  This is your time and when you finally come out of your room, the giddy calm on your face is like you just walked out of a full spa day. I don't fully understand it, but I suppose there are worse obsessions to have in the world. When I showed you the new trailer for FROZEN II this week, you were OUT. OF. YOUR.MIND excited.  November 22nd can't come fast enough for your fan girl heart. 

We tried a walk through an open park with paved paths through trees and you were not having it. I sure wish I knew what the trauma is related to walking through trees. I know you didn't have any say in where your forever home would be, but trees are kind of our thing here in the Pacific NW...you know, the Evergreen State.  We tried again the next day on the waterfront and you did great, so I guess we'll keep to what we know works best and try a different disbursement of trees another day. 

Having dinners in our backyard is something that you do enjoy, which is fun.  "Outside, Mommy? Umbrella?"  Sure, let's eat pad thai and watermelon outside. :)

Isaac:

The end of the school year has been difficult for you. The daily schedule is off, the classroom walls are empty, there is lots of not-really-controlled chaos happening and it's been hard for you. In a moment of frustration on your behalf, it occurred to me that we were already in Albania last year and you missed the last three weeks of school so you've never had to walk through the end of school wrap up process. I am thankful for your teachers who are patient and compassionate and have given you the space that you need to process. 

I got to volunteer for your school's field day!  I was excited for this as I have great memories of my own field days in elementary school (Not to humblebrag or anything, but I was kinda the McKinley Elementary Field Day hurdles champion several years running #1983 #1984 #1985 #earlygrowthspurt #legsformiles).  The joke was on me this time...I got placed at the Dance Station.  For two & a half solid hours I did the cha-cha slide, macarena, and chicken dance with 400 elementary students.  Sweet Moses, I couldn't feel my hips when I was done. (for anyone who is counting that is nearly 15,000 steps in 150 minutes). But, you LOVED it and was proud to show off your momma to all your friends...that makes it totally worth it (that and 600mg of Ibuprofen). 

We had a GREAT meeting with your school team about planning for next year. This was a follow up to the meeting we had a couple of weeks ago when I was blindsided with a plan I wasn't expecting. The Lord gave us an advocate in the school district administration who totally gets you as a student and me as a momma who wants what is best for you. The meeting was calm, respectful and productive and I'm excited to see how you grow in the second grade!

Also...when I asked called out to you from another room "Hey Isaac, what are you doing in there?"  You responded with (and with perfect clarity) "Oh mom, don't worry about it".  ?!?!?!

Me:

I stole a few minutes of my own outside in the yard in the evening sun while the kids were doing something or other (not dying, mostly. Not sure of anything past that). I was soaking in the beauty of the magnolia tree and lilac bushes and hydrangea plants; the Japanese maple and cherry tree and maple tree giving shade. None of these were here when I moved in 11 years ago--just a dead grass lot with a broken fence. It was hard to recall the specifics of all the work it took to get it to this point, but I know there where wheel barrels of dirt and loads of paving stones and hours on my knees digging through rocks in the ground. In those few moments of quiet the Lord let me see the fruit of 11 years of labor and reminded me of the same that will come in my kids. I am in the wheel barrels and paving stones and dirt digging and weed pulling-dead grass lot with a broken fence stage of their hearts, especially Mila. But the fruit of the labor; the beautiful harvest that will come will be SO VERY WORTH IT in the years to come.  I'm holding onto that promise. 

52 Weeks of Family: Week 33

Mila: 

Even after 33 weeks home and over a year since we've met, I feel like there are some days I am still just getting to know you. There are moments when you open your heart or personality and I get a glimpse of another side of your colorful prism.  You love watching nature documentaries. It is so interesting to watch you watch them--you get SO excited, especially when there are animals that you are now an 'expert' in (elephants, polar bears, elephant seals and sea turtles, clearly). I'm sure you are literally being exposed to a whole new world you didn't know existed, but it is a joy to see you take it all in with such wonder.  You also have a wicked auditory memory! You can identify a song within two notes by either by title or main word in the verse. It is impressive!  (Even more so because honey, there is no hiding it, you can't keep a beat to save your soul!) 

You had your first 'group' project presentation at school this week. This was particularly special as this was with your General Ed peers. I was invited to attend and it was a treat to observe you navigate the busy hallways from your Special Ed classroom to your English Language Learning class of typical peers.  Practically speaking I know your classmates carried the load of the group project, but you stood up at the front of the class and participated wonderfully. Well done!!  This from a girl who had never been to school prior to 6 months ago!

A baby monitor in your room has given me some insight into the institutionalized behaviors we stumbled upon a few weeks ago. I HATE seeing this happen. And it absolutely breaks me to know WHY you've developed these coping strategies. Just having a momma would have prevented this all; someone who responded to your calls as an infant, a baby, a child, a teen when you needed comfort. The basic calls of a heart to feel safe.  This is why it is so vitally important for children to be in loving & safe families---birth, foster, forever, whatever. FAMILIES are the key to a child's emotional success. 

Isaac:

You have done really well the last several months falling asleep in your own bed with a weighted blanket. This is a huge step of security as you had needed to fall asleep where you could see me; now you are even telling me when you are ready for sleep and asking for your bed. HALLELUJAH.   You are still finding me in the middle of the night and climbing into my bed where you need to be able to touch me at all the times.  There was one night this week that I just needed to not be touched and shoved, I mean, ahem...graciously glided you with loving maternity to the other side of the bed.  You waited and then walked your little fingers across the pillow so you could place one single finger tip on my arm, THEN you fell asleep peacefully; with one finger tip of assurance that you wouldn't wake up alone. 

You've also started getting up by yourself in the morning (at 5:30am, but that is beside the point), going to the bathroom and getting yourself dressed by yourself. YEAH!!  That is a huge piece of independence that we've been working towards!  Now, if we can adjust that whole amazing process to the other side of 7am that would be AWESOME.

I was excited to join you at school this week for an awards assembly. Your teachers had graciously rescheduled your student of the month award for several months until I could attend. You were well honored and super excited. Even giving yourself a 'round of applause' (clapping in a circle) in front of the school *wink*  My heart was happy to see you with your classmates navigating a loud and chaotic event without any adults around to assist you. You have come so very far in the last year; I am proud.

Me:

I've got nothin'. 

Mila's Dedication

Following in the example of Biblical Hannah, today we stood as spiritual family to dedicate Kamila Naomi back to the Lord.  Dressed in your best Albanian dress, we gave you back to the One who gave you to us. <3   This was particularly special in the spiritual life of my daughter as we have photos of her infant baptism when she arrived at the Missionaries of Charity orphanage and as a family we were able to participate in her first communion last year in Albania.  In her infant baptism, the sweet Sisters dedicated this orphaned child to the Lord as an expression of their faith. In her first communion, Mila acknowledged her understanding of Christ's sacrifice for our lives. In today's dedication, her spiritual family again dedicated her to a life honoring the Lord. In the coming years, I expect she too will make a decision to acknowledge her life in the Lord through water baptism. All are unique and precious milestones in her life with the One who created her. 

"Lord, we are so thankful for Kamila Naomi White to be here today. And that in the name of Jesus we lay hands on her with faith & confidence in the name of the Lord. Kamila, right now, we just dedicate you to Jesus Christ. We proclaim that you are a gift of the Lord. You are a gift to your family. You are a gift to us. And we dedicate you, and honor you before the Lord Jesus right now; that He would receive you and bless your life, in the name of Jesus. Kamila, we believe and trust that the Lord has a plan for you. That the Lord has made you for a purpose and for goodness in Jesus name. And we pray for the Spirit of the Lord to come upon you now from the top of your head to the soles of your feet. May He fill you with His spirit; may He anoint you with His power. May He grace you and strengthen you; every part of your being now in Jesus name. We pray that you would give Kamila a love for your Word. That she would be very discerning and sensitive to the Holy Spirit. That you would fill her with Love. That you would bless her eyes to see the things of God. For her ears to hear the voice of the Lord. Would you bless her feet, Lord? That her feet and her life would take her to the very places that you have ordained for her. Kamila, we believe the Lord has ordained you for ministry. That He will use you and your voice to speak Hope, to speak the promises of God, to speak the Love of God into your community and into our society. We pray that the Lord will always cover you and protect you. We pray for the blood of Jesus to be over this household. For the promises of the New Covenant to come to bare over you, in Jesus name. That the Lord would keep you hidden from the impure, wicked, and the vile. And that you would always be surrounded by His loving angels, His protection, His goodness. In Jesus name, we thank you Lord for all that You are going to do in this young lady’s life. That she is a woman of God. That she has been set apart for you. And we trust you Lord for all the things that would come about through Your power and Your holiness, in Jesus name....And we thank you Lord this day, this special day for Kamila. Bless her and anoint her. In Jesus name we pray. Amen."   ~Pastor Craig, Northwest Church 6/9/19

Kamila Naomi...A sweet flower of Hope...your little life brings with it the precious presence of God's love for us all. May all that stood with you today be graced to show you the smallest glimpse of how much Jesus loves you and may your heart always know He loves you SO MUCH MORE than that.
Happy Dedication Day, sweetheart.

52 Weeks of Family: Week 32

Mila:

You are doing an excellent job caring for your garden. Sprouts are starting to come up from some seeds and you've taken to watering all the flowers in the yard during your evening rounds.  You declare the evening schedule "Isaac bafthk. Mila yawter flowe-lers" (while Isaac is goofing off in the bathtub, someone has got to manage the estate grounds)

Interestingly, you've needed A LOT of physical contact this week; holding my hand during dinner, draping yourself over me or hanging on me while I'm cooking--constantly readjusting yourself to have as much body contact as possible. Turns out the whole process is a bit overstimulating for me, so I'm trying desperately to figure out how to give you the physical connect you are craving AND let me breathe at the same time. I am curious what the trigger was that started this and all I can think of is your heart walking through what life was like 1 year ago...you had just met your mommy and she left every day leaving you at the orphanage, then she left for a long time and no one knew when she was coming back.  I am a firm believer in heart memories. I have seen so many children walk through traumatic anniversaries with deep grief and pain that they should not be able to remember...but hearts do. There is a chemical imprint that is real and meaningful--that is why I am working so hard to fill your heart with trust and safety and the Truth that you are loved. 

Randomness:

• You CANNOT wrap your brain around Gramma being Mommy's mommy. This is TOO much information for you and you look at us like we've just told you the secrets of Roswell. Hysterical!
• You talk to yourself in the shower until the water runs cold--full out conversations, reviewing the weekly schedule, correcting yourself, making plans, listing off friends, singing songs. I so wish I could record you somehow. I admit that I am a shower thinker (some of my best ideas are between the lather & rise!), but you have taken it to the NEXT level!
• You've conquered 'okie dokie' & 'avacado',  and you almost have 'kennedy' (your teacher's name) mastered, but 'flippity flop' is the new word massacre that absolutely slays me. 
• You've learned 'poco loco' and are using it in context: "mommy, you poco loco!" and I cannot tell you how much my inner Latina loves this!!

Isaac:

You and I started the week by playing hookie and sneaking into a morning matinee of your FAVORITE movie.  When I heard that Aladdin was being remade, I KNEW you and I would have a special day. And honestly, I don't know what you enjoyed more, seeing your favorite movie or knowing it was a Momma & Isaac day. Oh how your face beamed when we dropped off your sister at school and then didn't go to yours.  "Momma Isaac?!"   Yes, buddy.  Momma Isaac...and Aladdin!  You literally reached out and held my hand during the magic carpet/Whole New World scene.  Melt my ever loving heart <3 

You washed the van this week. I was so proud of you--even while the hose was squirting you in the face and you had difficulty lifting the brush (ultimately opting for an old fashioned rag) you did it. I hope these are seeds of work ethic and service and masculinity that are being planted deep in your heart. I want you to have the skills to cook dinner and do the laundry and manage the car and build in the garage. A well rounded young man that many parents of daughters in the 5-8 year old age range should probably be keeping an eye on in the next 20 years. *wink*

Me:

The Lord provided an insider advocate for Isaac's school plan, which I am so very thankful for! And I am still believing for the provision of a summer nanny. At this point it feels like it would be an absolute miracle to find what we need--but we serve a God of miracles who promised to provide for my little family in EVERY way, so I wait & trust and train my brain to '"nt worry about tomorrow, or what we will eat or drink or what we will wear...for your Heavenly Father knows what you need and will give it to you when you need it" (Matthew 6:25-34)

I am happy to report that my goal of being able to read consistently this year is paying off BIG. In just five months I've read or listened to a total of fourteen books!  That's more than in all of 2018!  And has already surpassed my annual goal.  It's a nerdy thing but it makes me so happy. The books have been from a variety of genres--fun, spiritual, deep, lighthearted & interesting and all have fed me wonderfully. I'm just starting a biography of Mother Teresa--one that I read more than 15 years ago, but I am excited to delve into again having been been loved by the Sisters of Charity in her home country.