You are doing an excellent job caring for your garden. Sprouts are starting to come up from some seeds and you've taken to watering all the flowers in the yard during your evening rounds. You declare the evening schedule "Isaac bafthk. Mila yawter flowe-lers" (while Isaac is goofing off in the bathtub, someone has got to manage the estate grounds)
Interestingly, you've needed A LOT of physical contact this week; holding my hand during dinner, draping yourself over me or hanging on me while I'm cooking--constantly readjusting yourself to have as much body contact as possible. Turns out the whole process is a bit overstimulating for me, so I'm trying desperately to figure out how to give you the physical connect you are craving AND let me breathe at the same time. I am curious what the trigger was that started this and all I can think of is your heart walking through what life was like 1 year ago...you had just met your mommy and she left every day leaving you at the orphanage, then she left for a long time and no one knew when she was coming back. I am a firm believer in heart memories. I have seen so many children walk through traumatic anniversaries with deep grief and pain that they should not be able to remember...but hearts do. There is a chemical imprint that is real and meaningful--that is why I am working so hard to fill your heart with trust and safety and the Truth that you are loved.
Randomness:
- You CANNOT wrap your brain around Gramma being Mommy's mommy. This is TOO much information for you and you look at us like we've just told you the secrets of Roswell. Hysterical!
- You talk to yourself in the shower until the water runs cold--full out conversations, reviewing the weekly schedule, correcting yourself, making plans, listing off friends, singing songs. I so wish I could record you somehow. I admit that I am a shower thinker (some of my best ideas are between the lather & rise!), but you have taken it to the NEXT level!
- You've conquered 'okie dokie' & 'avacado', and you almost have 'kennedy' (your teacher's name) mastered, but 'flippity flop' is the new word massacre that absolutely slays me.
- You've learned 'poco loco' and are using it in context: "mommy, you poco loco!" and I cannot tell you how much my inner Latina loves this!!
Isaac:
You and I started the week by playing hookie and sneaking into a morning matinee of your FAVORITE movie. When I heard that Aladdin was being remade, I KNEW you and I would have a special day. And honestly, I don't know what you enjoyed more, seeing your favorite movie or knowing it was a Momma & Isaac day. Oh how your face beamed when we dropped off your sister at school and then didn't go to yours. "Momma Isaac?!" Yes, buddy. Momma Isaac...and Aladdin! You literally reached out and held my hand during the magic carpet/Whole New World scene. Melt my ever loving heart <3
You washed the van this week. I was so proud of you--even while the hose was squirting you in the face and you had difficulty lifting the brush (ultimately opting for an old fashioned rag) you did it. I hope these are seeds of work ethic and service and masculinity that are being planted deep in your heart. I want you to have the skills to cook dinner and do the laundry and manage the car and build in the garage. A well rounded young man that many parents of daughters in the 5-8 year old age range should probably be keeping an eye on in the next 20 years. *wink*
Me:
The Lord provided an insider advocate for Isaac's school plan, which I am so very thankful for! And I am still believing for the provision of a summer nanny. At this point it feels like it would be an absolute miracle to find what we need--but we serve a God of miracles who promised to provide for my little family in EVERY way, so I wait & trust and train my brain to '"nt worry about tomorrow, or what we will eat or drink or what we will wear...for your Heavenly Father knows what you need and will give it to you when you need it" (Matthew 6:25-34)
I am happy to report that my goal of being able to read consistently this year is paying off BIG. In just five months I've read or listened to a total of fourteen books! That's more than in all of 2018! And has already surpassed my annual goal. It's a nerdy thing but it makes me so happy. The books have been from a variety of genres--fun, spiritual, deep, lighthearted & interesting and all have fed me wonderfully. I'm just starting a biography of Mother Teresa--one that I read more than 15 years ago, but I am excited to delve into again having been been loved by the Sisters of Charity in her home country.
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