52 Weeks of Family: Week 44 = Beach Trip

Several years ago I was given a gift certificate to the Kalaloch Lodge on the Olympic Peninsula and we finally got a round to using it as an end of summer get away. We had the perfect little cabin and excellent weather for our little excursion away from it all. 

Quiet time even at the beach:

We trekked to find The Tree of Life not far from our cabin.  AMAZING how life can find a way...

Mila:

This was a big trip for you; there was lot of new sensory input and a lot of trust development.  The Sisters took you to the beach every summer for a week or two, so the concept of the beach itself is not new, but you were flabbergasted when I told you this beach was too cold to swim in...Wait What?  AND we had to hike down to get to it.  AND we are going to climb over rocks and trees AND probably touch gross things in the tide pools.  EXCUSE ME?!  It was a lot for you to take in, BUT you did it!  Getting to the beach itself was your motivator and with the convenient aid of a walking stick from the cabin, you did remarkably well. I couldn't convince you to walk on wet sand that had actual water on it, so crossing little and not so little streams required that I carry you on my back, but it only took one or two times for me to learn to warn you ahead of time and you quickly jumped up and giggled until we crossed.   Touching anything your brother & I found on the beach was a no-go, but I was glad that you acquiesced to be near while we explored.  (Also, Santa may be bringing you a walking stick...)

Isaac:

You, sir, gave me the scare of a lifetime when you changed course chasing after a seagull (a favorite beach activity), got 100 yards away from me, CROSSED A CREEK FLOWING INTO THE OCEAN IN WAIST HIGH WATER (your waist not mine) and climbed up into a bunch of semi-deadly driftwood...all with a proud smile on your face.  With Mila in tow and a bum leg, I COULD NOT EVEN!!!  I ended up having to climb a tree over the creek, drop 5-8 feet down, rescue you from the tetanus pile of death (that you were happily playing on), haul your 60lb wet body UP the tree, over the creek, and back onto the shore where I had left your sister with your shoes, all while sweetly yelling "Mila, listen to my voice! I love you. Stay right there!"...and limping like the Edgar-alien from Men in Black because of, you know, a ruptured calf muscle walking on sand and climbing a tree over a creek.  DUDE.  NOT COOL.  Needless to say, we had a serious chat about listening & obeying and staying close even when we were having fun.    Later as I was calming down with my leg elevated, it occurred to me, I taught you that. I spent a lot of time exposing you to new things, specifically outdoors, so you wouldn't be fearful. Loud sounds at the beach aren't scary because we've spent time there. Different textures and sensations don't have to end our day. Exploring and trying new things is something I've built into you. Your sister hasn't had those experiences and we spent a lot of time this week, helping her feel safe walking on wet sand. Clearly, you have overcome that fear. It appears, however, I need to refine the exposure curriculum a wee bit...

Climbing on all the things! (this pile was allowed)

Touching all the sea anemones!

This kid, I tell ya...

Me:

In a very unexpected turn of events, I got to snuggle down with a blanket and a book outside our cabin and watch the sunset over the ocean TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW. I did not even know that was going to be a thing or I would have mentally prepared for it or something.  To add to the shock, I started and finished a book cover to cover.  WHAT?!  I was so cozy in my little chair and blanket several people walked by and said "hey, you look pretty comfortable right there!"  Well, in fact I am!  Thank you for noticing.  My daughter didn't get her feet wet, my son didn't die, my leg didn't fall off and I'm watching a sunset over the ocean. That feels like a solid vacation moment to commemorate!  

52 Weeks of Family: Week 43

Mila:

You had a really good week at mini-camp with Isaac and Miss A.  You even climbed through an elevated tree house play area, participated at the spray park, and spent 5 hours at the zoo walking and seeing 'aminals' without any fear.  These are all huge victories! I am coming to terms that many things you've refused or been hesitant to do with me, you'll probably do with your peers. This makes sense in a lot of ways, but a bitter pill to swallow when we are walking through so many infant developmental stages WHILE helping you become a teenager at the same time.  You liked telling me about all the 'aminals' you saw at the zoo, including the monkey that was black and not brown like Isaac's monkey on TV...ie, don't get your hopes up, Mom, if you think you are going to see Curious George at the Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium, because he is definitely not there, I checked. Also, there are only POLAR bears, not bear-bears, so jot that down too.  *hard head nod* Got it.  You told me all of this while brushing your hair at the dinner table like a typical teen, so you can imagine the brain spin my head is doing most days. 

Separation anxiety has been hard this week, despite all our other victories. You don't like to NOT see me when we are supposed to be doing activities in the general vicinity.  Taking out the garbage or folding the clothes in the other room usually leads to "Mom! MOM!  Kush Mommy?! (where are you?!)  Whining has become a thing too when you can see me but not get to me quick enough.  There is a lot of pulling you close and telling you you are safe, Mommy is here even when we aren't touching. There is also a lot of big breaths on my part reminding myself that this is normal for a 9-12 month old child, and you'll grow out of it soon. 

One thing that you excelled at this week, was acting as door hostess for Gramma's big birthday bash!  Big unstructured events are a bit of a nightmare for your brother, but you seem to thrive in them. You greeted every guest with a big smile and a chorus of "Nice to meetch you! Sss Gramma Happy Birthday!"  You chatted freely on the couch with Gramma's friends and gave every guest a hug before they left. You did such a great job--I'm so proud of you!

Chatting it up with Ms. Diane:

Isaac:

I was all set to write that you've had another rough week--easily overwhelmed, cranky, not listening, yelling all the time. I even wrote to my momma friends that I was putting you through a Definition of No Boot Camp and hoped it only lasted one week  "haha".  Buuuuutttt, then today at a regular check for your ears we discovered that not only did you have a wicked infection in both sides, you had an abscess in your right ear.  A freaking abscess!  Your behavior change 10-12 days ago was the only clue and I had been trying to parent it out of you. *facepalm* When I pulled you close to me after your appointment today and asked "do you have owies in your ears??", your eyes widened like I had FINALLY heard what you had been trying to tell me "momma. yes! owies. ears".   Oh, buddy.  I'm so sorry. I had no idea.  Even after 7 years and ALL THOSE ear infections you had in the past, you'd think I'd have this down, but apparently I am still learning to read you.  I can't promise to get it right all the time, but I do promise to keep learning...

Cranky & crashed out before I knew about your poor ears:

Me:

The crazy-buzy two week block has come to an end, for which I am thankful. I did find the time through it all to rupture a calf muscle which has forced some slowness into my week via a clunky walking boot. I'm still coming up with an attractive back story but a competitive salsa dancing injury has the most votes thus far.  Rescuing a pregnant woman from an escaped tiger at the zoo is a close second. Running up a slide-hill with my kids is no where on the list. 

We have this next week off for a mini vacation at the beach before my new clinic opens and the kiddos go back to school. It's strange to think that I'll be putting up my fall decor in the next few weeks and then it will be a hop-skip-jump into the holidays.  How does it all go so stinking fast?? 

52 Weeks of Family: Week 42

Mila:

It seems, my athletically-avoidant daughter, you love bowling!  You went twice this week with Miss A and had a fabulous time!  I am so excited for us both and I'm already making mental note to contact the local Special Olympics bowling team.  (And I'm not going to tell you I saw this through the window, but I caught you playing basketball with your brother and Miss A too!)

I've been so busy this week the normal things I've been taking time to observe in you got missed. You've done a really good job letting me be busy without any major issues. You seem confident that I will give you dedicated attention at some point during the day and that evening family couch time watching Ninja or Dancing won't be missed.  You've been practicing your letter flash cards and working on sounding out words. I tried really hard honey, but I just could not hide the laughter when you attempted to say UNICORN and RHINOCEROS...I think you actually broke a piece of your tongue trying to say them! 

Working with beads at day camp:

I caught you calling your brother over to play!! 

Isaac:

Bowling, train rides, farmers markets, health fairs, day camp, church, painting, cooking, swimming...you've been busy this week!  I'm trying to keep you busy during the day to give you some structure (and lets be honest, help you sleep well at night!).  You are doing marvelously well with all the change, but you are also ready for school to start again. Second grade is waiting for you, buddy!  It's coming quick enough. 

Me:

I am in the middle of a two week stretch of SUPER BUSY at work and I've had to get super creative to make sure the kids don't feel the stress. I'm thankful for our summer nanny who has brought the kids to me during the day several times this week for lunch dates while I rush between meetings, events and patients. It never really occurred to me that I hadn't explained what "work" is or what my profession as an ARNP is to the kids. Mila has tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together, but every time she sees me at work the context is different and it doesn't quite make sense.  This week Isaac saw me with my stethoscope on for the first time and the light switched for him...with genuine shock he asked "Momma?  You dokta?!" (a profession he is very well acquainted with!) haha!  Well, kinda buddy; for speech therapy purposes, we can stick with that description.  He approved, which made me smile. 

I had this moment in the midst of the exhausting crazy of this week that I literally didn't know which way/what to do next. It ALL needed to get done, but do I...? Or should this...? What about...? Oh wait, I need to...?  Akk, the....!  I just needed a solid second to breathe and it didn't feel like I had that much time when the worship song So Will I started to play...

And as You speak

A hundred billion galaxies are born

In the vapor of Your breath the planets form

If the stars were made to worship so will I

I can see Your heart in everything You've made

Every burning star

A signal fire of grace

If creation sings Your praises so will I

...and what the Holy Spirit whispered between the lyrics was "even with a hundred billion galaxies, I see you".  *cue the tears*  Just what I needed to KNOW in midst of the swirling crazy.  Isn't it like our God that in a moment that is meant to declare His greatness, He doesn't stop pursing our little hearts?  One of the hundred billion reasons why we praise. 

Happy Family Day, Isaac!! SEVEN Years As A Family!

Isaac JianMin...you are such a beautiful gift. A gift of living faith; of joy; of adventure; of praise; of an abundance of gray hair on my head.  Seven years ago there was NO way for me to know the incredible journey the Lord was going to take you and I on. I was just excited to hold you in my arms after waiting 448 days...I thought The Wait was the exercise of faith adoption required. Um...NOPE.  We are still fighting some trauma demons even after 7 years, but we are 7 years closer to finding the victory and that is what I hold on to as we walk this road together. 

Buddy, I am SO STINKING proud of how you have welcomed your sister into our little family in this last year. Yes, you like to annoy the ever living liver out of her, but you also love her deeply. You want her included in all that we do; you seek out ways to serve her and help her feel comfortable, even when she isn't ready to receive it. Your transition from only child to little brother was my number one fear & hesitation in saying yes to the Lord again, but He promised to be faithful to me...and to you. 

Isaac JianMin, you are God's joyful promise to me fulfilled.  You are loved. You are wanted. You are an absolute delight.  Happy Family Day, son.  I am so thankful the Lord asked me to be your forever mom. <3 

52 Weeks of Family: Week 41

Mila:

I misjudged your trauma-versary by a week...this is the week that you've been particularly insecure, needing to be by my side at all times, even sitting against the door when I go into the bathroom.  My heart breaks to know that your little heart is not yet settled in this new, SAFE, normal; it's not yet permanent for you; mommy could leave at any moment...even sneaking through some mystery door in the bathroom never to be seen again. It's particularly hard when you repeat the Albanian phrase for "I love you very much" for hours on end. As if you needed to convince me to love you, that if you said it just one more time maybe that would be enough to solidify this arrangement. I honestly don't know what to do for you in those moments other than to hold your face or your hand, tell you are ok, you are safe and you are loved.  Te dua forte, Mila. Te dua forte. 

I think the end of day camp was a bit of a trigger too. You've gone every day for the whole of July and now August just looms nebulous until school starts. You miss the structure of school and your teachers and friends.   We did get to arrange for your first little "party" with one of your friends from school. This was a first for you and her and you were particularly excited!  We went to the store and you picked out drinks and snacks. Then to the pizza place to pre-order a pizza to be delivered--I was so thankful of the staff at our local Papa Johns, they totally played into the excitement of it all and made sure you got the full pizza party experience (is that even a thing?!)  If the amount of food & drink consumed during a movie watch is any indication of success, I think you can count your first event a huge hit! (seriously, where do two teenagers and a 2nd grader put two large pizzas and 2 liters of fanta??)

One delightful moment this week was you playing in the little backyard pool. Its the first time I've seen you unabashedly playful and exploring your environment. Absolutely glee was oozing from you as you pounced and floated and splashed and played all on your own in 16 inches of water. "Mommy!  Mommy!  Mila Ariel!" even asking for the Little Mermaid soundtrack to accompany you. *wink*

Isaac:

You have SO MUCH ENERGY right now. SO MUCH. I told a friend it was "go go go. move move move. dance, twist, jump. noise, shout, run. Lather, rinse, repeat"  Whew.  I've got you in the pool every evening followed by a bath. I'm shocked you aren't some sort of rare Asian raisin by now. 

This week I found a jr basketball hoop to see if that would help get some energy out too...turns out you are REALLY good at basketball!  (You are also really good at going into the street to get a runaway ball...THAT is a skill we need to dial back...quickly)

Me:

I completed another spin around the solar system today...number 42.  I wonder what I would have said if the Lord would have told me at 22 or 32 that this would be the life I would lead?  Honestly, I think if He would have said "Go forth and care for orphans in Borneo thus saith the Lord" that would have made a lot of sense. But I left two meetings this week with local foster/adoption agencies to discuss work partnerships and I left both with a burning righteous anger. Ten percent (10%) of foster children in my state are staying in hotels at night because there are not enough licensed foster homes locally.  A ten-day old infant was discharged from the hospital to one of those hotels. TEN DAYS OLD.  One sweet 4 year old who has been in foster care has had TWENTY FIVE placements in 18 months....that's a new foster home every 2 weeks. If those two stories alone don't break your heart...? These precious children aren't in Borneo or China or Albania, they are in my own community! I know my little family is at max capacity right now, but I am committing the next 42 years to making sure I can help others step forward and fight for the hearts of God's most vulnerable children. James 1:27 is clear that we all get to DO something to care for the widow and orphan.  Let's start DOING more! Let's support at risk mothers so they can parent their children. Let's support foster families so they can focus on loving their 'for now' child through The Unbelievable Hard. Let's get Bible centered families in Washington State licensed to foster so every child that comes in contact with 'the system'  also comes into the loving presence of Jesus.  Let's get help finance families to step into the great unknown of special needs and/or international adoption---it's only money and it literally saves lives.   Just look at those two faces who call me mom (one bazillion times per day); I can't imagine any life without them.