I misjudged your trauma-versary by a week...this is the week that you've been particularly insecure, needing to be by my side at all times, even sitting against the door when I go into the bathroom. My heart breaks to know that your little heart is not yet settled in this new, SAFE, normal; it's not yet permanent for you; mommy could leave at any moment...even sneaking through some mystery door in the bathroom never to be seen again. It's particularly hard when you repeat the Albanian phrase for "I love you very much" for hours on end. As if you needed to convince me to love you, that if you said it just one more time maybe that would be enough to solidify this arrangement. I honestly don't know what to do for you in those moments other than to hold your face or your hand, tell you are ok, you are safe and you are loved. Te dua forte, Mila. Te dua forte.
I think the end of day camp was a bit of a trigger too. You've gone every day for the whole of July and now August just looms nebulous until school starts. You miss the structure of school and your teachers and friends. We did get to arrange for your first little "party" with one of your friends from school. This was a first for you and her and you were particularly excited! We went to the store and you picked out drinks and snacks. Then to the pizza place to pre-order a pizza to be delivered--I was so thankful of the staff at our local Papa Johns, they totally played into the excitement of it all and made sure you got the full pizza party experience (is that even a thing?!) If the amount of food & drink consumed during a movie watch is any indication of success, I think you can count your first event a huge hit! (seriously, where do two teenagers and a 2nd grader put two large pizzas and 2 liters of fanta??)
One delightful moment this week was you playing in the little backyard pool. Its the first time I've seen you unabashedly playful and exploring your environment. Absolutely glee was oozing from you as you pounced and floated and splashed and played all on your own in 16 inches of water. "Mommy! Mommy! Mila Ariel!" even asking for the Little Mermaid soundtrack to accompany you. *wink*
Isaac:
You have SO MUCH ENERGY right now. SO MUCH. I told a friend it was "go go go. move move move. dance, twist, jump. noise, shout, run. Lather, rinse, repeat" Whew. I've got you in the pool every evening followed by a bath. I'm shocked you aren't some sort of rare Asian raisin by now.
This week I found a jr basketball hoop to see if that would help get some energy out too...turns out you are REALLY good at basketball! (You are also really good at going into the street to get a runaway ball...THAT is a skill we need to dial back...quickly)
I completed another spin around the solar system today...number 42. I wonder what I would have said if the Lord would have told me at 22 or 32 that this would be the life I would lead? Honestly, I think if He would have said "Go forth and care for orphans in Borneo thus saith the Lord" that would have made a lot of sense. But I left two meetings this week with local foster/adoption agencies to discuss work partnerships and I left both with a burning righteous anger. Ten percent (10%) of foster children in my state are staying in hotels at night because there are not enough licensed foster homes locally. A ten-day old infant was discharged from the hospital to one of those hotels. TEN DAYS OLD. One sweet 4 year old who has been in foster care has had TWENTY FIVE placements in 18 months....that's a new foster home every 2 weeks. If those two stories alone don't break your heart...? These precious children aren't in Borneo or China or Albania, they are in my own community! I know my little family is at max capacity right now, but I am committing the next 42 years to making sure I can help others step forward and fight for the hearts of God's most vulnerable children. James 1:27 is clear that we all get to DO something to care for the widow and orphan. Let's start DOING more! Let's support at risk mothers so they can parent their children. Let's support foster families so they can focus on loving their 'for now' child through The Unbelievable Hard. Let's get Bible centered families in Washington State licensed to foster so every child that comes in contact with 'the system' also comes into the loving presence of Jesus. Let's get help finance families to step into the great unknown of special needs and/or international adoption---it's only money and it literally saves lives. Just look at those two faces who call me mom (one bazillion times per day); I can't imagine any life without them.
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