52 Weeks of Family: Week 40

Mila:

This was a big trauma-versary week. I year ago I left you behind in Albania not knowing when your we would be back to get you. I've been praying over this week for a while and watching you closely to see how your heart would respond. You'v needed to be close to me all week not even allowing me to take the garbage out without your supervision, but otherwise you've seemed settled. (Maybe it was more of a trauma-versary for me?!) I am so very thankful for the Peace that made the world lives in our home too <3

You and I are finding our groove in several areas. In the times when I need to "proactively parent" you *wink*, you aren't melting down or shutting down. In fact, this week I was so proud of you when you took the time to weigh out the consequence to a decision and reverse course and start over. I literally pumped my fist in the air--you did it!!  Yes, it feels like something that a two year would do, but it is a major character milestone in our relationship together. I am so proud of you!

Watering Gramma's flowers

You and I are also finding things that we can laugh at together; the language and the relationship have come far enough along that we can have our own inside jokes. I know it was hard for you in your first months home to see your brother & I joking with each other and having fun. It was a difficult realization for me too that nothing was going to fix that except time, but I think after 9 months home we are crossing that line. Your current favorite thing to do is to declare something "po'loco" (poco loco) and I am desperate to get a message back to one of your favorite Sisters who is from Spain to tell her.  What's even better is when you use your token Spanish phrase with an Albanian word to describe something in English...to your Chinese brother.   "Oh Isaaci!  Look!  Po'loco floka"  (her hair is crazy!) 

You are clipping along revisiting your developmental milestones, thankfully faster than a biological pace. I was worried that if it took you 14 years to revisit all that you missed without a family that it you will be nearly 30 before we start with any forward movement *yikes*, but you seem to be picking the important ones and checking them off the list pretty quick. Right now Baby Bear is a very important part of your life. You've named him (that's huge) and you carry him around the house, snuggle him and play with him during quiet time.  You are also fascinated by anticipatory songs & games like Pop Goes the Weasel and Five Little Monkeys.  You watch my face so closely waiting for the BIG moment and then giggle wildly when the monkey falls of the bed or the spider makes it up the spout!  It makes my heart happy to know that I get to revisit these important moments with you. 

Isaac:

Someone taught you how to stick out your tongue...and not in the cute way. Errggg.  And somehow your off switch is stuck in the ON position = LOUD ALL THE TIME. Loud with your body, loud with your mouth, loud when you sleep, loud when you eat, just bundle of talking, moving energy. Good heavens child.  I'm taking you on walks and runs and swims and hops and whatever else I can think of to help find the OFF switch again but I suspect this is part of a significant growth spurt.  Suddenly, I just can't lift & carry you like I used to and all of your clothes "shrunk in the wash" seemingly over night. Sometimes I watch you when you are sleeping with your long legs taking up (my!) entire bed and I cannot help but wonder what your first family looked like. Your birth daddy must have been tall and strong..."Wike Maui!" as you like to say. *wink*

Me:

I think I really was worried about how Mila would respond to this week's anniversary. I still cringe thinking about the day we dropped her back off at the institution and drove away without her. We made it a celebration with cake & dancing and spun it as this amazing send-off so momma could get her room ready for her to come home to, but the reality was there were so many unknowns spinning out of control I didn't even know if this adoption would even be approved...which meant I wouldn't return and she would never have a family. The burden of that knowledge...that yoke, did NOT feel easy. Then I think of all the people who attempt to walk this journey of adoption and redemption WITHOUT the Lord---holy hannah, THAT WOULD BE HARD. There is no hope in the hard without Jesus. None. Despite all the crazy unknowns we've traversed thus far (and I'm sure more to come), I am ecstatic I haven't had to do it without God's promised gift of Peace and Rest...and Joy.