52 Weeks of Family: Week 4

Mila:

No medical appointments this week...but don't get too comfortable, more are coming. I promise. 

The extra time in the schedule made room for your 'first' haircut. You weren't too sure what to think of having someone else wash your hair and you definitely did not like the blow dryer (methinks there were some actual Albanian swearing taking place) but we were happy with the results. It was the same sweet lady who gave Isaac his first hair cut and she was thoughtful enough to give us a momento---I LOVE that it has your age!

We had a couple of moments this week where you clearly were telling me this crazy vacation to America needs to be over. We Skyped with one of our Albanian friends who helped translate--you listed your favorite person (not me), and your six favorite people after that (also not me); then you graciously put me at Number 8...on a list of 8. My heart breaks for the confusion you must be feeling and I so wish I had a better way to help you process it, but rest assured I am not offended. This whole crazy roller coaster is about helping build trust & safety. Thankfully, you are always comforted by listening to Albanian worship...and the next day you moved me up to your FOURTH favorite person (the three in front of me are pretty solid choices, I have to give you that *wink*)

When you needed some extra motivation to get ready in the morning, Mommy let you listen to worship music while you showered. 

We found some fun by adding an Anna to your Elsa (you are CRAZY into "Frozen" right now, which awesome!). And we had a play date with some our Bamboo friends. You have renamed their two Bamboo daughters after your BFFs in Shkodra. I have to laugh at what I can only imagine your inner dialog must be: "Listen folks, there is too much to remember and all you Americans look alike, so here is the deal...you two; the short ones with Down syndrome: my friends in Albanian were Lola & Erika, so you too shall also be Lola & Erika. There is no point in reinventing the naming wheel. Moving on.". 

Your first craft project!  "Olaf" 

I have to say, the ABSOLUTE BEST part of the week is when you saw the Christmas display at the store. Your eyeballs about popped out of your pretty little head. MOMMY! LOOK!  Christmas is a time for love! (the only lyrics you know from Isaac's Psalty's Christmas Calamity CD that you both have been listening to nonstop) You inspected each display. Every ornament and light. You even requested a photo in front of one of the empty trees. It nearly had me in tears...just wait until next week, sweet heart..."Christmas is a time for love" will be IN OUR HOUSE!!!  

Isaac:

You had your own medical appointments this week...a full ENT tune up in the operating room, and you did GREAT.  By some miracle your hearing is actually getting better. There is no explaining that but we'll take the victory all the same. 

You too have figured out that this Sister situation is permanent. You seriously love her and want to be with her at all times, but sometimes sisters don't want little brothers in their room or chasing them while you are naked having escaped from the bathtub without me looking (that was a good squeal she had, but we still can't do that, even if Momma is laughing too).  Extra structure and extra snuggles have been needed, but I know you will bounce back. This is a BIG change for you too. I know your heart is growing along with your long-legged body to make room for this crazy flam-ly of ours. 

Me:

You have WILDLY underestimated the increase of milk consumption with the addition of an extra human in the house. Seriously...we are at the store "just picking up milk", like every other day. Get it together...just buy two gallons while you are there to begin with!

Of all the goofy things, both your children love watching "The Great British Baking Show" with you. You three snuggle up on the couch and watch one episode at a time. In fact, as SOON as the Netflix logo shows up on the screen Mila screeches "Ohhhhh. CAKE!"  (You kinda don't have the heart to tell her N-E-T-F-L-I-X doesn't spell cake.) The next hour is filled with one child practicing his baking skills with his own kitchen tools on the couch and the other learning her English by calling out 'chocolate', 'strawberry'. 'lemon', 'eggs'. 'ohhh, beautiful!"  It's unconventional, but it's working!

The Best Part of the Day

Hands down, this is the best part of the day--mine & theirs. I had worried, hoped and prayed over their relationship but the Lord's has clearly divined something very special between these two. Thank you Father. <3 

52 Weeks of Family: Week 3

Mila:

You are rocking these medical appointments!  We crossed off 10 vials of blood, a cardiology visit and a series of xrays this week. You DO NOT like needles but we figured out a good way to do what needed to be done and you got to pick your first real toy afterwards. The great news from your cardiologist was that your heart is PERFECT. No issues whatsoever so we'll just piggy back on Isaac's visit in 5 years for a quick check and call it good. Hallelujah!

So many things are new for you. The automatic garage door has been a particular fascination and when just you and I went to the grocery store this week you couldn't stop laughing at the milk behind the freezer doors!  I couldn't figure out what that was funny but you sure did!  I can tell what you have been exposed to and what is truly new (or was previous forbidden perhaps?)--the store was easy for you, including bagging the groceries. But the kitchen is still an awkward space for you. You don't ask for food or water. You don't explore the cabinets or stand along side me as I cook. When I showed you how to fill your own water bottle in the door of the fridge you provided a VERY clear "no thank you". Okie dookie. I can fill your water bottle; that is a small detail in our lives. The important point is that you KNOW that food and water will always be available. We'll work our way into having food preferences and initiating your own food stability in the future. There is no rush.  

After Isaac goes to school, you and I have some sort of social activity every day along with your homeschooling studies. (You are slaying the ABC's by the way!).  You had your first play date with your cousins Noah, Elli and Max---but mostly Elli 'cuz she likes to do girl stuff. *wink* They are totally in love with you, sweet girl. 

You had a special surprise call this week from your Nana (long term caregiver) and three besties in Shkodra. You were so excited to tell them about your house (and fish!) in America and I heard each of the girls ask about your room *wink*.  I also heard your Nana and a couple Sisters remind you to listen to your new Mommy and to pray every day---excellent advice!
You also got a call from our Sassy Polish Sister Friend and the Sisters in Elbasan later in the week. That call was a bit harder for your little heart. Oh how you squealed to see your favorite ladies! You told them about Isaac's school, and going to church and also your two fish (said it in English too!). But your heart was heavy when we needed to see Bye-sheem. Oh to be loved by so many wonderful people. I'm praying I can show you that all of this love can help heal the grief. You are old enough to be aware of if not understand the loss you have endured. I can't make the loss go away, but we can bathe you in our love and the Perfect Love of the One who made you <3

Isaac:

You started school again this week after being gone for two weeks. I thought maybe you'd have a rough time transitioning back but you did AWESOME.  One of the school staff reported: "EVERYONE in the building knows about Isaac's new sister".  haha. Good job buddy.  I know you were thinking about us during the day because of how you signed your name on your worksheet:

You have learned that you can make your sister laugh, in classic little brother style. Dancing silly, making funny noises, or eating nachos with your ENTIRE face (my particular favorite)

But she also LOVES you for you. Not only did Mila need a brother, she needed YOU, Isaac.

Me:

Congrats! You figured out how to get all three members of the household up, showered, dressed, fed and out the door in the mornings without any major issues (plus feed the fish!). It's not exactly an attractive process but it's effective!  You've also seriously upped your french braiding skills and Mila seems to like it, which is the ultimate test. The days feel manageable right now without going to work but you still have time to ease into that.  The favorite part of the day for everyone is when you pick Isaac up from school...to see your children run into each other's arms like a slow motion beach scene absolutely melts your heart.
Hands down the best part of the week was sitting as a family of three at church this week. Isaac was shouting his hallelujahs with this arms in the arm, and your new Catholic daughter let her inner Pentecostal LOOSE! Singing, clapping, shouting Amen, and lifting her arms to the Lord in worship. Is there anything more precious then presenting your family holy to the Lord? I couldn't help but let the tears flow...'here we are Father, imperfect as we are, we are at Your throne offering all that we are.'

52 Weeks of Family: Week 2

Mila:

We have hit the ground running. We were home only three days and you've already had your first medical appointment. I wish I could tell you that visits like this will be a rare occurrence, but life long institutionalization and that little extra chromosome of yours has put us behind the 8-ball. Isaac will show you how to do it; he is particularly good at clinic visits. 

You are finding your place in your new home. You've claimed your spot on the couch where you can see everything and at the dinner table where you can see me. You like taking things out of your room then repeatedly taking them back in to your dresser, your desk, your closet. It's all yours yet you seem to need to make sure that it's all still there when you've left it 4 minutes ago. Your camera is still in your hands 90% of the day and you've done REALLY well with engaging your little brother--he wants to do EVERYTHING with you. That's what little brothers do. 

You are also starting from scratch in the academic department, but you are such a smart girl!  You are eager to learn and are picking up English SO FAST!!

You get the sillies when you are tired but one night you chose to snuggle up with Isaac and I as we read our Bible stories....then you offered a kiss on my cheek! You are slowing allowing me into your heart to stay. 

Isaac:

Jet lag is the worst, isn't it? Especially as we did this whole Albania to USA thing in July. I'm not sure your body knows what to do or when but you are powering through. You want desperately to be at Sister's side all day (she has her own thoughts about that) and you don't understand some of the new closed door policies we need in the house now (sorry buddy. It's a girl thing), but you absolutely melt when you & Mila can do things together. I love that I can leave the two of you alone together while I get ready in the morning. I love even more that you check her food to make sure it's not too hot and regularly try to feed her with a loving "there you go. good job!" like she is 1 or 80 years old. Your compassionate heart will find it's happy space with Mila.

Getting caught up on school work:

So embarrassed by your mom & sister!

Me:
Remember when Isaac came home and you lived on adrenaline for about 6 weeks? High on this new life as a mommy?  Yeah, you are doing that again! Even when when both kids are fed, watered and clean, the laundry & dishes are done and meals are prepped you pace the house just to make sure nothing got missed. You are working to stay one step ahead because you are officially on zone defense...but you are loving it. You crack up when your kids are being kids (Isaac, don't chase your sister with a dustbuster---she has never seen one before!  Mila, you can't trick Isaac into picking up your stuff...but nice try.), and you melt when they are both cuddled into you on the couch. God chose you to parent these precious ones to Him...what an honor.

52 Weeks of Family: Week 1

I was able to keep a weekly journal through Isaac's first year home and it's my hope to do the same with Mila. The first year is probably the hardest--so many new things to navigate together as a growing family; there is no 'getting back to normal' after an adoption. It is truly finding a new normal, whatever that may look like. I don't know how our new normal will compare to our current normal one year from now--I do know there will be lots of hard, but we will celebrate every victory no matter how small and we will lean into Jesus every step of the way. 

WEEK 1:

Mila, you are such a brave girl! You said good bye to your life long friends & roommates last week and have been sitting pretty at the baby orphanage again this week waiting for your momma & brother to arrive. This whole week has been a giant To Do list for us to help get you HOME and none of us are in our normal environment. I can't imagine what is going through your head right now--you've cried, you've withdrawn, you've gotten mad, but you've also laughed and engaged and responded to your brother's morning kisses.  There is so much new for you to process, but you are doing it. SUCH a brave girl!

Who is going to be the owner of the couch? ;)

 Celebratory ice cream after surviving two shots & a blood draw:

First escalator ride:

First trip to the mall. Taking pictures of EVERYTHING:

  Playing with Annie's hair:

Isaac, you were the one I was most fearful for, but you have absolutely rocked this traveling-across-the-planet-to-become-a-little-brother scheme I signed you up for.  Our schedule this week isn't letting us conquer jetlag but you are doing so very well. You will live in this wonderful space of being able to both lead & follow your new sister, which I think will be perfect for you.