Annual Seaside Getaway 2022

Every year my little family sneaks away to Seaside, Oregon. It started with just Isaac and myself in 2015; some years friends have joined us, some years Gramma has come, some years its 'just us'.  It's a different amount of time and at various times of the year but it has quickly become my favorite getaway on the calendar. Seaside is our happy place that we are building a lot of memories in. 

Took a different route through SW Washington to visit a new site for lunch:

Drove three hours to see the Cape Disappointment Lighthouse...mission accomplished!

We explored the lighthouse center and climbed around on the driftwood while we waited for the fog to clear.

This was the picture taken immediately BEFORE Isaac and I climbed the driftwood pile below...

The picture that is not shown is my boy falling between the driftwood barely missing his eye socket on a protruding stick, flipping around sideways as I grabbed his arm and landing square on his tookus...slicing through his shorts, puncturing his underwear and stopping millimeters from a very dangerous proctological situation only prevented because of a pair of just-in-case road trip pull-ups.  Apparently, we had the puncture proof version that day.  (Also a very quick angel on duty).  Needless to say, it scared us both and we were done climbing on big piles of anything for the rest of the trip. 

There it is!

Goofballs!

Beach hair, don't care. 

I can hear his giggle through the photos <3 

Giant bubble man was on point this year!

Our favorite stop!

This sign made me feel REALLY good about the new unexpected serving size 😲

We are still finding new surprises in Seaside. This year was the Lewis & Clark Salt Camp from 1805. 

My friends make fun of me for bringing our air fryer on vacation with us. Where else can you find this kind of front row seating in any restaurant??  You can't--I've outsmarted the system!

For years I've been trying to wrap my brain around how to manage making s'mores on the beach with my kids. I haven't been able to figure out how to navigate building a fire, an open flame, pointy sticks, gooey food, sandy sensory overload and doing it all in the dark by myself while somehow forming a positive memory for all of us. Last year I came to the conclusion this just wasn't an experience I was going to be able to give to my kids on my own.  Enter the Tiny Torch fire log.  The fire would manage itself.  And if I timed the s'mores in broad daylight, we might actually be able to do this...

I literally WHOOPED out loud!  We did it!!  I DID IT!  We conquered beach fire s'mores!

Had some good heart to hearts with this one on this trip.  She is opening up more about life before family and feeling safe to talk about how she feels.  Even on the days that I've asked her to walk through dunes, sit on wet sand and eat food while dodging seagulls we are making progress. 

In the evenings, I got to enjoy this amazing view while finishing up a virtual Bible study with some friends. 

Twenty bucks at the arcade is generally a good investment for my kids. 

On the way home we scooted north through Westport, Washington to see our state's tallest Lighthouse.  It was tall. We decided not to walk the 135 steps to the top.  Ate some lunch at a cute lighthouse bistro and drove the rest of the way home.  

Somethings I don't want to forget about this trip:

• Listening to all three High School Musical soundtracks is exactly 2 hours and 6 minutes of joyful entertainment for all.
• Isaac knows his sister is scared of dogs, and he made darn sure any dog that came remotely near her was told preemptively to BACK OFF (much to the confusion of the dog owners peacefully managing their pets).
• Windows down, driving along the Columbia River introducing my kids to Mama Mia.
• Mila turning down a cheeseburger in lieu of fish tacos!
• Spending more than an hour in the pool!  (They used to not be able to tolerate more than 20 min, now I can barely drag them out)
• The seagull that literally choked and spit up the carrot piece that Isaac threw in his direction. Word got out quick in the Gull Group, our food was not consumable!😜
• Mila & Isaac asking each other open ended questions as we drove home.  (This is a first!).  "Isaac what's your favorite movie?  Ooh, that's a good one!".  "Mila, you like coloring? (pointing at her coloring books) Is pretty. Good job".  I can't tell you how sweet this was to eavesdrop in on that conversation. 💖
• Personally feeling refreshed.  There have been a lot of battles lately and I have been particularly fatigued--physically, emotionally, spiritually. But I felt truly restored on this get away and I am thankful. 

Seaside 2022, you were good to us.  We'll see you next year!

Happy TENTH Family Day, Isaac!

 An entire DECADE with this handsome boy of mine. Ten spins around the earth getting to be his mom. 

I am feeling all the feels this week.  Remembering every moment of packing, the flight, the anxious days in Beijing attempting to beat the jet lag and enjoy my son's culture (and not pass out from the heat!) while anxiously/graciously waiting to fly the next leg to my boy's province. The bright redhead-fluent Mandarin speaking Chinese-Canadian that helped us at the airport when our flight was delayed and our interpreter was gone. The smack to the face as I bent to meet Isaac JianMin for the very first time. Consciously holding him outward so he wouldn't be scared of the white face & blue eyes that wanted nothing more than to gobble him into my very being. The holy tears of that first scary night with his new mother. Chinese Walmart! (Good lord, that is an experience!) Finding the unexpected heart murmur as I did his first little well child check on the 28th floor of our Guiyang hotel room. His 20lb low tone, noodle body that fit absolutely perfectly against mine in the exowomb.  The little Chinese crackers that essentially didn't leave his cute little hands for the first 6 months home.

The teeny tiny 20 month old with only two teeth who needed every meal blended and extra protein added before his heart surgery, now makes three eggs scrambled with cheese and salsa ("eggs special"), toast with butter and a side of blueberries for he & his sister every morning while I get ready for work. The child that was SO desperate to start walking, despite not being able to crawl let alone sit up independently swims, rides bikes, plays basketball and can STILL wrap both legs up behind his head comfortably while watching TV!   The 20lb toddler I dropped off in the baby room at daycare because he was so small, will confidently walk into the 5th grade wing next month at a strapping 85pounds and absolutely dominating the height charts.  

 

 It all feels like yesterday and eons ago all at the same time.   I hardly remember a life before August 12, 2012 but it is also the date by which I measure all personal history. 

We spent Isaac's special day on the sunny Seattle Waterfront with lunch, a ride on the Great Wheel and ice cream. 

Isaac JianMin.  You were the wardrobe into Narnia.  This wild adventure of the last 10 years, including the Bamboo Project, your sister from Albania, and the Foster Adoption Clinic among countless other things, is solely because God created you exactly who you are--each and every perfect chromosome of yours. <3  I am continuedly honored to be your earthly mom as we wait to be a completed family with your first parents in Heaven. 

Happy Family Day, son. 

Our First Dance

 I did not grow up going to dances.  Music & dancing really wasn't a thing in my childhood home but they certainly are in my kids' home.  Music is ALWAYS on.  And we dance and sing A LOT.  Some of our favorite shows are dance competitions and we take the time to talk about different kinds of dancing--fast, happy, sad, mad, slow; dances that tell stories.   When I got an email about a Tween/Teen dance party at the DS Community in Seattle it did not take long for me to SIGN. US. UP.   A first dance party for all three of us!

Mila took special care in picking out her sparkle dress. <3 

Captain Testosterone checking his muscles before the big night...

One lap around the floor as the caboose and Isaac decided the engine was the only place to be!

Mila got a turn driving the train too...and she was pretty proud of herself. 

I wish I could show the other kids faces, but imagine 12 teenagers absolutely loosing their ever loving minds when the soundtrack to Descendants came on!  Mila has astellar auditory memory; this was her face when she picked up the song after two chords...EXCITED!

Then this happened...   

This young lady's dad came bounding over while I was recording, and said "I'm not sure I'm ready for this; this is a first".  Me too, sir, me too!  Since clearly we are destined to become in-laws, we exchanged numbers to start making arrangements. 💕   My favorite parts of this clip...Isaac maintained eye contact, he asked before spinning her, supported her back in his attempt to dip her, then complimented her at the end!  All things we have talked about in Gentlemen School at home, so I was a proud momma. 💝  (What I failed to teach my son...and didn't realize until this dance party...is that partnered dancing is really only with girls.  When he attempted to hold 15 year old Wyatt and spin him, Wyatt wasn't so thrilled! *hahaha*.  Mental note made for our next Gentlemen School lesson)

We waddled out into the Seattle heat well past bedtime and still an hour from home.  Both kids exhausted but smiling ear to ear.  Isaac's first comment as we poured into the van "Mom? I tired! I meep now."  Yes bud, I bet you'll have a BIG sleep tonight.  Mila's refection, "Ugg, my pretty shoes hurt"  hahaha. Yes, daughter, you have learned the great lesson of cute shoes are not made for dancing.  

So dancing is now a thing for us!  We'll be attending all the events we can and fully expect it will build many joyous memories. 

Another layer in the onion

When you first start the adoption process, potential parents are given a form to identify what types of children they are comfortable parenting.  Essentially a shopping list for a tiny human who needs a family.  It's a horrifying form to review.  I do understand the WHY behind the form--personal awareness is needed before blindly saying yes to any child who needs a home.  Do you live in the middle of Nebraska without easy access to a multi-specialty pediatric hospital?  Then you probably shouldn't say yes to a child with multiple known medical needs.   Are you a stellar parent but with multiple orthopedic concerns yourself?  It wouldn't be wise to welcome home a child who will need daily assistance with lifting, etc.  Do you already parent multiple children with trauma histories?  Safety would dictate saying not now to a child with significant emotional needs that would benefit from a smaller focused family.  I get it; it makes sense.  But the form also has illiteracy, wears glasses, down syndrome and issues as benign as bedwetting.  (As much as I dislike changing wet sheets, who would say "thanks but no thanks" to a child who wakes up wet?? Is *that* the reason a child remain an orphan??)  Personally, I struggle with distortion between Holy Spirit directed self awareness and a comfortable parental shopping list that The Form has become. I've seen many families say YES with good intentions but without wisdom, doing real damage to their new child and their established families.  I've also seen far too many families say NO to a child desperate for a family because their comfort may be challenged.  (I've got a whole soapbox about not serving a comfortable God...ask me about it sometime. *wink* )

I reviewed The Form with pain and prayer for both my kids, wanting to trust the Lord with the skills & experience I already had and with the list of unknowns that might come with my kids.  Isaac's heart issues and hearing impairments were a surprise, but we've figured out life with them both. A single sentence in Mila's files alluded to possible orthopedic issues and we found several different diagnoses pretty quick after she came home.  An orthopedic plan was developed including the need for single level living for our housing future.  Nearly four years later, we are still pulling back new layers of Mila's medical onion--nothing that could have been expected on The Form. 

Last summer, Mila started complaining of more knee pain.  The pain progressed into not being able to walk all the way through Costco and not being able to kick while swimming. Through the broken hoop-jumping process that is the American healthcare system (Arrrggg! enter another soapbox), it took until Feb 2022 to secure a sedated MRI. 

Sleepy knee picture day!

We had the results before we left the parking garage.  Six paragraphs of a radiology speak translated into "this knee is a hot mess, multiple specialists needed".   Ugg.  Vials of blood tests, more xrays and urgent specialty visits led me into an emotion I had yet to have as an adoptive parent--anger towards her bioparents.  All of this had nothing to do with her extra chromosome; it had nothing to do with being adopted or even being 'a teeny tiny Albanian' (her favorite descriptor).  This was 100% an inherited disease from her first parents and there was nothing I could do about it.  

 Isaac helping after a big blood draw: 

Another sedated procedure:

Nearly a year later, all the vials and all the images and all the pokes have given us a new diagnosis of Juvenile Arthritis; a rare autoimmune disorder. The sole treatment, essentially a cocktail of cancer drugs with a long list of nasty side effects, tricking her body to stop attacking itself and go into remission. 

The start of this regimen precedes three additional non-orthopedic surgeries planned before the end of the year.  Mila's little body is going through a lot.  

So, we stand on the promises of the One who created Kamila Naomi's body from the very beginning.  Who was with her as her joints were coming together in her first mother's womb, in the long hours she spent alone when she should have been learning to crawl, in the crowded room of metal cots when she was learning to walk.  I know our Lord was with her holding her teeny tiny hands and guiding her through the green painted hallways that I walked through so many years later to make her mine. We lean on Him as the Great Physician, Comforter and Healer that He has promised to be.  

Of course, we appreciate your prayer coverage and intercession.  We expect to be on this road for some time; a road I am thankful that Mila does not need to walk alone. <3