Explaining Adoption

     I have a lot of little humans in my life. To many I am Auntie, to others I am their DeDa and to a few I am Miss.  They are each at wonderful stages in their lives and I enjoy every single one of them (Hi Kids!)...of course, their parents are pretty awesome too.  :)
     One conversation that has come up with each parent set is how best to explain the beauty of adoption without triggering a very real fear of being "given away" themselves.   Listed below are a few resources to help stimulate the conversation of God's call to care for orphans (James 1:27), His promise to care for EVERYONE ( Psalm 68:5-6 ), His absolute promise to never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), and some kid friendly videos.

• PBS kids has an AWESOME two part episode of Arthur directly relating to adoption from China. I've linked the YouTube episodes here: part 1, part 2. This is perfect for watching together with the kids! 

• There are A LOT of great kid books out there about adoption, which in its self can be overwhelming. But here is a short list of some good conversation starters geared toward preschoolers.
• God Found Us You   by Lisa Tawn Bergren
• A Mother for Choco   by Keiko Kasza
• Shaoey and Dot   by Mary Beth & Steven Curtis Chapman
• I Love You Like Crazy Cakes  by Rose Lewis
• I Wished for You   by Marianne Richmond

• The Adoption Journey has a lovely review of the Biblical Perspective of adoption and a great testimony from Tony Dungy, coach of the Super Bowl XLI winning Indianapolis Colts.  This is a great conversation starter for slightly older kiddos...and adults. 

• You may have heard about Mary Beth Chapman (wife of Christian songwriter Steven Curtis Chapman)'s book Choosing to See. I encourage EVERYONE to read this book.  It's not the be all & end all of adoption books, but rather the Chapman family testimony of how God brought the call of adoption into their lives and the resulting love & heartbreak.  Get yourself some chocolate & Kleenex...you'll need both with this book.

• At church we have been working our way through the book of Romans and most recently God's call to care for each other as family (Romans 15 & 16). While this week's sermon was not a classic adoption sermon (sans James 1:27), I thought it gave wonderful insight as Christians adopting each other into our larger family of God.  You can watch the podcast here.  I challenge you to view it through the eyes of adoption...into what family have you been adopted?  Who do I need to adopt into my family?

$3.51: A Fundraising Update

     Today was the Adoption Photo Day courtesy of Cassandra Hamilton Photography...what an adventure!  You would think that March 17th, even in Seattle, would be a semi-decent day to photograph outdoors.  Apparently, not! While the rest of the nation was enjoying 70+degree heat, today we had freezing rain, followed by snow, then just wet rain, then blinding sun!  Such a weird day!!  But a FUN day!  I got to meet the all beautiful people who are helping to bring Little One home, one semi-frozen smile at at time.  Couples, families with kids, families with dogs, in-laws, cake-decorators, interior-decorators, dads on their way to Africa, lovely ladies out of college, just because photo-shoots, and special photo-shoots for grandma. Most strangers to me before today...all stepping out in the passionate belief that God puts families together through adoption.  To all that came today and that have participated in Cassandra's photo mentoring mornings & photo sessions ...Thank you!  Because of you, an additional $4, 265 has been raised to bring Little One home!! 

     The MOST precious moment of the day, was when my little friends Noah & Elli came up and pulled on my pant leg.  Ages 5 & 3, they have heard their parents talking about Little One joining the family and apparently wanted to help bring their new 'cousin' home too.  With bright faces they presented me with a plastic baggie with exactly $3.51 in change...the entirety of their little lives' savings.  I.  Was. A. Crying. Mess.    I was in the delivery room for the birth of both of these children; the THIRD kiss of their lives was from their Auntie Desiree.  I know them.  I pray over them.  I love them.  And to have them present their precious gift to the Lord through me was nearly more than I could bear.  A velvet bag of diamonds could never compare to that little plastic baggie of coins.  And I can only imagine the melting of God's heart right then in the freezing rain. 

     To Noah & Elli and all those that are giving to our Father through my little family, I pray you know the deepest promise of blessing from our Lord (Heb 6:10)... 'cuz you are blessing my socks off!

    



A Fun Foto Fundraiser! (A Phun Photo Phundraiser?)

     In just one week from today, Cassandra Hamilton Photography will be hosting a day of photo mini-sessions with all proceeds going towards bringing Little One home!  There is still time to schedule your session so see here for details.

     Is this an incredible opportunity to have head shots taken of your kids, of yourself, of you & your loved-ones, etc for just $20 (single) & $40 (group). PERFECT for Easter or Mother's Day gifts!! *hint hint* Cassandra is a notable photographer and is passionate about adoption; she has not only been a herald for all things Little One *wink*, but also a motivator & encourager to me in this time of waiting.  I am absolutely thrilled for the day I'll be able to introduce my son to her and her family (and I am already envisioning her boys showing Little One the ropes around Kids Church!). What a treasure to be blessed by such a sister & friend. I do hope you'll take advantage of the opportunity to be photographed by her on March 17th!

Side note---I get to be Cassandra's official photography assistant next Saturday and carry the clipboard...and I am TOTALLY psyched about it! I'm seriously considering carrying a Jimmy Olsen Press Pass...although, technically Cassandra would be the photographer, which would make me Lois Lane...doesn't matter...TOTALLY psyched!

All of the agency fees have now been paid {can I get a hallelujah?!} so all fundraising from this point forward is for travel {$5000}and country-specific fees {$7700}.

February Update

     February has been a strange-ish month on the adoption road.  As you can see, the pile of adoption books is STILL growing.  My 'favorites' thus far have been The Lost Daughters of China: Abandoned Girls, Their Journey to America, and the Search for a Missing Past (excellent look into Chinese history & adoption), Successful Adoption: A Guide for Christian Families (a VERY practical guide with wonderful Biblical side notes and personal stories from 'notable' Christians in the adoption process), and I Wished for You: An Adoption Story (a beautiful gift from my Best Friend about a Momma bear and her son).  There have been other good books about Down syndrome, attachment disorders, and international adoption issues, but there are only so many books on a single topic that you can read back to back before you kind of want to poke your eyes out.   The good news is...this is the month that I finished my mandatory training, reading and book reports. Whoohooo!  Despite the last couple book reports dwindling down to just bullet points, my social worker was  impressed and a Gold Star was put on my file.  :)

     Even more exciting, my Dossier arrived in China on February 12th! This is HUGE.  E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g we've done in the last eight months has been to get the Dossier To China (DTC).  Everything. Our friends in China are now reviewing that precious stack of paperwork and will (hopefully) decide to send me an official Letter of Acceptance (LOA).  With that letter in hand, we can process Little One's immigration paperwork AND publicly post Little One's name & photos...AND buy a plane ticket!! What a day THAT will be!  Oh my gosh...I don't even know what I'll do when I have that piece of paper in my hand.  For the lovely lady in Quebec, Canada that has been reading this blog, if you hear a wild scream in the wind sometime in the next six plus weeks...you'll know what day it is!

     February hosted the Adoption Auction.  I was so impressed with how word spread of the auction and the all the lovely donations that were auctioned off.  Don't you just love how God brings people together?!  $1,300 was raised, which according to my most recent search, is the EXACT cost of a cozy little ride from Seattle to Beijing.  Isn't that awesome!!  God is providing exactly what is needed, exactly when it is needed, one day at a time.

       Since all my paperwork, reading and reports are done, I've been playing around in Little One's room.  The before & after pictures are pretty impressive if I don't mind saying so myself.  :)  I hope to post those photos soon. (Yes, that is his crib in the above picture!) Until then, my social worker recommended that I have a small comfort item to send ahead to Little One before I arrive...and to make sure to sleep with it so it absorbs my smell.  Umm...excuse me?!  I'll admit, it makes total sense, but having never been a dolly-girl as a child, cuddling up with a capitated-blanket at thirty-four years old seemed a little over the top.  BUT...I did it.  For a week I snuggled & slept with Little One's giraffe lovey (in the picture above) and prayed that my, uh...fragrance...would be peaceful and comforting to him while we await our first meeting. Probably, the first time I've prayed that particular prayer, but 2 Corinthians says we are the fragrance of Christ so I'm feeling more confident.

     As you can see, it's been strangely busy/not-busy sort of a month.  Turns out I'm not a particular fan of passive waiting.  But I am assured that as there is a season for proactive waiting, there is also a time for expectant waiting (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

But...oh, for the day when I don't have to wait any longer!

Baby Pictures

     I have just four photos of Little One. They all appear to be taken on the same day, in what I assume was a speed session of Chinese Orphan Glamor Shots, and if the printed date in the corner is correct, he is about 9months old in the pictures. In those four digital glimpses into his life, I can see that he is sitting up on his own, that he can hold focus toward something (specifically me, when I'm looking at the picture!); developmentally speaking, he has his mouth closed in three of the images which tells me he has pretty good muscle control (an issue in most kids with Down syndrome), and given the hardwood floors that I can see in the background & his position in the baby walker he is in...I'd say he probably scoots around pretty well (that's my boy!)  So much information from four little photos on a single day.
     As a family waiting, I've had a lot of fun with his photos---taking pictures of his framed image at his First Birthday, at Christmas with his stocking, a big family photo with an infant Green Bay Packer Cheeshead teetering on the corner of his frame (might as well get him used to it). He is a part of this family and I don't want to miss anything with him...even though he is 5,000 miles away.  When he gets home I'm sure we'll FILL albums upon albums of daily life, major accomplishments, funny events and sweet moments.  It's the photos that give us the insight and document the memories. And memories we will have!
     What I don't have is Little One's baby pictures. Nothing to document his first smile, first foods, first steps on this earth. It is a sad reality of adoption that very few forever-families are able to remedy.  I was going to let myself grieve that loss...until I found the pieces of art below.  I don't know who the artist is, but he/she has given me Little One's baby pictures. The MOST precious and truthful pictures this family could have. They are framed & hanging in Little One's nursery as we speak. In fact, he'll be lucky if I ever let him take them down!! (Sorry kiddo, I'm pulling rank)

Adoption Auction Totals

THANK YOU to ALL who participated in the Online Adoption Auction to bring Little One home!!  We are now...$1300 closer!!  What an amazing outpouring of support.  To those who donated...thank you; your generosity is bringing my family together.  To those who help support the process...thank you; we could not have done it without you.  To those who donated towards these items...thank you and I hope you thouroughly enjoy your manicured lawns, customs cakes, contemporary prints, handmade hats and all the other amazing items that were bid on over this weekend.  It truly is amazing what the sincere efforts of a few can do to affect so many.  Thank you!!

Down syndrome 101

     My handsome boy is special in a thousand different ways. God made him with dark almond eyes and straight black hair, different from my round blue eyes & wonky curly-ish hair.  His skin has a soft Asian glow, mine is that special blend of European-pale that Sherwin-Williams has yet to market as a money-making paint color. His file says he loves music and is especially fond of bath time. I imagine he'll like to play in the dirt & listen to his Uncle talk about football. In short, he is everything that makes him a little boy. BUT he also has an extra chromosome...which makes him THE COOLEST kid on the block.
      Many of you have quietly asked for information about Down syndrome, which thrills my heart.  I want people to be interested in one of the things that makes my kiddo special and to be aware of those around them that may also have a unique physical or mental trait.  I also don't want anyone to be scared or sheepish about Down syndrome.  It's alright...it's not contagious.  :)

     Down syndrome was named after Dr. John Langdon Down, who first described the condition. The correct terminology is just that: Down syndrome. Not Down’s, or Down’s Syndrome, because Dr. Down did not have the condition (so we do not use the possessive form,) and “syndrome” is not capitalized because it is not a proper noun. You may also see Down syndrome abbreviated online as DS or Ds.

     Down syndrome is the most common chromosomal anomaly, occurring in approximately 1 in 733 births in the US. However, as common as it is, there are less and less babies being born with the condition, because about 92-93% of mothers who receive a prenatal diagnosis of Ds choose to abort the baby. This comes to about 65,000+ babies aborted each year due to a prenatal diagnosis. I can’t tell you how much it saddens me that so many lives are lost. I am sad not only for the babies, but also for the parents who are missing out on having an amazing child. And, I am sad for my Little One who will have less friends who are like him. With fewer people having the condition, others will know less about it, there will be fewer resources for him and less research done about Ds.

     Down syndrome is a spectrum disorder, which means the physical, emotional & mental impact of this genetic trait can vary from person to person, but there are common characteristics:

• Shorter stature.  A child with Ds generally grows slower & as a result is shorter than average.
• Weak muscles (hypotonia) throughout the body. A child may seem to have less strength than other children of the same age and weak abdominal muscles also make the stomach stick out. (NOT limited to Ds...let's be honest)
• Short, stocky arms and legs. Some children also have a wide space between the big toe and second toe.
• A single crease across the center of the palms of the hands. (Betchya that'll throw off the palm-readers, uh?!)
• The nasal bridge is the flat area between the nose and eyes.
• Small, low-set ears.
• A higher rate of cardiac anomalies, gastrointestinal problems and sometimes, although rarely, leukemia.
• Very low rate of dental cavities! (Something to smile about!)
• Generally sweet & gentile personalities. 

     THE MOST important thing to remember about Down syndrome, is that it is a genetic influence of the body NOT of the person.  A child with Ds has been created in God's image (Gen 1:27) and has the same call & gifting that any 'typical' person has; the Holy Spirit is not hindered by physical ability, mental agility or the number of palmar creases, nor should our expectation of God's miraculous work through someone whose body is lugging around an extra chromosome.  In my experience with Ds, I believe it'll take us all a very short amount of time with Little One before we realize WE are the ones that have been short changed in the genetics department! :)
    
     My friend Cassandra gave me an AWESOME book photo-documenting Down syndrome called I'm Down With You.  I've added a link here to the website.  I encourage you take a look and love on those precious faces.  There will be one more among us SOON.

      If you would like more information about Down syndrome, PLEASE feel free to ask. There is also great information at the National Down Syndrome Society web page.
  

Fundraising Bonanza!

     The speed at which God has opened the doors to bring Little One home has been...phenomenal to say the least. Laughable seems disrespectful, but I can't help at laugh at every record breaking event that has happened thus far. Old Testament Sarah laughed at the possibility of God performing a miracle; I'm laughing at how He is doing it! 

    Many people have asked about the cost of bringing Little One home and how they can help.  I won't lie, adoption costs are significant. With travel to China included, it will cost approximately $30,000 (paid up front) to bring Little One home.  This isn't much more than the cost of a natural pregnancy...but wouldn't you know it, health insurance doesn't cover adoption costs (I'll have to call my Congressman about that).  I'm working extra shifts & I've applied for eight different adoption grants and I hope to hear from those foundations by spring. With savings, extra work & potential grants it looks like the first $20,000 has been provided for. (Isn't that just incredible?!).

     Now that the word is out about Little One's arrival, there has been an AMAZING outpouring of support from friends two & three times removed. I'm chatting with people I didn't know I didn't know!  There are SO many wonderful people with a heart for adoption but aren't physically in a place where they can adopt into their own families...nearly all have asked how they can help.  Here are the ways that you can help bring our Little One home:

• Cassandra Hamilton Photography has generously offered a day of mini sessions with all the proceeds (plus any extra donations) to go toward to Little One's fund.  Saturday March 17th from 10am to 2pm, outside Northwest Church, will be the scene of individual portraits and small group portraits. I cannot say enough WONDERFUL things about Cassandra & her photography. Please consider this an amazing opportunity to be photographed by her.
• ($20 donation) The individual portraits are perfect for children, for you for your website or as a social media image or just because. You can choose black and white or color. The full resolution image will be emailed to you.
• ($40 donation)The small group pictures can have 2-4 people. Think you and your sweetie, siblings, you and your bestie, you and your child, you and your mom (then you can make it into a great print for Mother’s Day). You can choose black and white or color. The full resolution image will be emailed to you.
• More information can be found here at Cassandra's blog.

• Community garage sale.  If you have goodies worthy of another home or project, please consider donating to the Spring Adoption Garage Sale (date to be determined, pending Seattle weather). THEN, come peruse other people's goodies to see what would look good in your home! With what has already been donated I think $1,000 net is an easy goal.

• Online auction.  Doesn't this sound like fun?  BEAUTIFUL handmade goods & quality services have been donated just for Little One's welcome home.  More information to come in the next 10days!

• Direct donation. If you are not able to participate directly in any of the above events but would still like to donate, direct donations can be made either to myself or to Bethany Christian Services with my name notation. There is no tax deduction, but there is an awfully cute toddler who can give you a hug or a high five someday! Please feel free to email me for more information.

• Prayer.  Yes, prayer. There are many who have a passion for adoption but aren't able to invest in this type of ministry financially. That's okay!  God's movement does not depend on our paper currency; nor does our ability to obey.  I would ask everyone to continue to pray for open doors & favor, but to those who have the gift of prayer covering to offer...especially pray on the day of mini-sessions, the community garage sale, the online auction and over the pending grants.  

     I am resting in the promise that God is going to provide every nickle, dime & hundred dollar bill needed to bring Little One home. He owns the cattle on a thousands hills (Psalm 50:10), so $30,000 is chump change in His economy. (I just did the math: approx $1500 per cow x 42 cows per herd x 1000 hills = $63million.  We should be good.)

     THANK YOU for being a part of this incredible process.  I'll keep you updated on dates & totals as we go.

My Mother Knows I Was Born

     I had a bit of a panic attack this morning. Seven months of meticulous record keeping, document seeking, filing, requesting & sorting information for my Dossier, and the precious package arrived in Michigan this morning. Whew & Hallelujah!  BUT...my Oregon state sealed birth certificate apparently is due to pass the 6month validity deadline tomorrow. Per my international helper in Michigan, this means...I have to get a new one. WHAT?!!! All that work!  I texted my mother to complain...I thought she was going to come out of her skin: "Who wants official documentation of your birth?! I'll give them something official to document! I was there! You were there. You're still here. It's official-you were born. What's the problem?!"     Whoa, nelly.  (She has a point...and I think she wants to get her hands on her grandson.)

     This is part of the game that is Adoption Paperwork. I need the exact same piece of paper, signed by the same people, in the same envelope, going to the same place with the left corner documenting this month's date...not last month's date in the right corner.    Arrggg.  The notary is my new best friend.

     After two big breaths, I hopped on the phone to the State of Oregon's Department of Vital Statistics and got someone real to talk to. (A miracle in & of itself). I calmly asked for another $35 birth certificate and oh, did she know the address to the Oregon Secretary of State to reseal the document. "Well, I can just send this right over for you if you'd like." If I'd like?! Nice-lady-person, I'd take that over just about anything right now! (The alternative, was receiving the birth certificate by mail & resending it back to Oregon to be resealed, having it sent back to me, then sent to Michigan = TIME CONSUMING). She also offered a phone number to confirm the transaction with the Secretary of State's office...turns out she gave me the direct number to THE Secretary of State of Oregon. "um...hello, Ms. Brown...your honor...ship, ma'am". (What do you say?!).  Thankfully, they are pretty good people in Salem, Oregon and they'll seal my birth certificate and get it back to me...before Monday. Whoohooo! We are right back on track.

     The doors just keep opening...it's TRULY amazing.  I'm so looking forward to telling Little One his story...our story...and of the Greatness who brought us together.  "He is our praise; He is our God, who performed for us those great & awesome wonders we saw with our own eyes!"  (Deuteronomy 10:21).  And of a Gramma that will thrown down a vital statistics office if needed...
     (Just joking secret government blog watchers. Just joking.)

20 Minutes--Two Reams of Paper--$13.04

Today was the culmination of nearly 7months of paperwork:

Twenty minutes in Olympia, Washington's capital, to get my final documents signed & sealed by Sam Reed, the Secretary of State.  Twenty minutes from the time we walked in the office to the time we walked out...on a Friday afternoon...before a holiday...TWENTY MINUTES.  I should no longer be shocked by the time warp God seems to have Little One & I on, but come on...it's a government office!

Welcome to Olympia

Secretary of State's office

It took two reams of paper (and a couple of ink jet replacements) to print out four copies of the completed dossier.  One copy for me to hand carry to China, one copy for my social worker, and two copies to the adoption agency's international office.

This is what my international caseworker calls "organized & motivated"!

To express mail my precious dossier to Michigan...$13.04.  (I'll admit it, I was short 3 pennies and my mom had to help me out).  The dossier will arrive Tuesday afternoon for final review then it will be sent for authentication at the Chinese consulate in Washington DC. Officially, authentication can take two to four weeks...but I've stopped paying attention to the official time estimates.  God hasn't ever seemed to pay them any mind.  :)

This is one precious pile of paperwork.

I'll be posting lots of information in the coming weeks, so look here for updates. Things have moved so unbelievably fast, that we are now in a bit of a mad rush to get everything ready for Little One's arrival; it could happen in the next 3-4months.  My friend Julie has started a pool as to when Little One is coming home...anyone else in for April 5th?!

The World's BEST Sentence

"United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) has reviewed...all evidence submitted...On the basis of this evidence, USCIS has determined that you...have been hereby approved to adopt one child from the...People's Republic of China"

WHOOOHOOOOOO!!!

The sentence that makes it official!  The sentence that I wasn't "scheduled" to receive for another 6-8 weeks arrived today, just THIRTY days after I was fingerprinted. The sentence that will allow me to have all my paperwork sealed by the State of Washington and submitted to the People's Republic of China.  The sentence that will bring our boy home...

The Spirit of Christmas

     "I had just nodded off, at a quarter past four, when the Spirit of Christmas stepped in through my door. With a great show of sparkles, he decked all my halls in tinsel and twinkles and bright, shining balls. I was really quite fond of the trimmings he'd brought. 'But there's just something missing this Christmas,' I thought...

     ...That's when the Spirit of Christmas smiles.  'Remember, this all began with a child. Because it took nothing but love to begin it, it's not really Christmas if love isn't in it.'

     Your tree may be large as the room will allow with a big yellow start on the uppermost bough, but of one thing I'm certain, I'm sure of one thing.  It's love that makes the angels sing.  And that's when I got it.  That's when I knew! The thing that was missing from Christmas was you! 

     And so then, my darling, wherever you roam, may you always be safe...may you always come home.  For as long as the world still spins and still hums, wherever you are, and no matter what comes, the best part of Christmas will always be...you beneath my Christmas tree." ~by Nancy Tillman.


Here is to NEXT Christmas and ALL that it will bring.
Merry Christmas from Little One & I.

Flaunting My 'Prints

     I was going to title this "A funny thing happened on the way to Homeland Security", but the truth is nothing funny or unfunny happened on the way to Homeland Security.  And I'm sure nine different government agencies would not appreciate any inference that Homeland Security is funny...or not funny...or whatever...Your Honor.
     I had a very quick visit last week with the aforementioned a-comical government agency.  I took the afternoon off from work assuming that I'd be stuck in paperwork Hades for a few hours, but I was literally in AND out in 15 minutes.  Biometrics DONE with no messing around!  The nice lady who processed me said I had "very attractive fingerprints"...? I'm still not sure how to file that little piece of information, but I'm willing to flaunt my 'prints if that's what it takes to bring my son home (Is there a line there that just got crossed?! I'm seriously not sure...)
     Here are a few photos (courtesy of Jessie Johanson) of my fingerprinting appointment in July. That's right...I know what I am doing.  ;)  Little One's baby book is going to be filled with somewhat unusual pictures like these, but full of as much joy & anticipation as any ultrasound photo or first tooth picture.  We'll have fun talking about God working through each step in bringing him home.  And...maybe, many, many years in the future one of my great grandchildren will climb into their Grandpa Little One's lap and ask to see the photo of Grandma Des and her attractive fingerprints. :)

Watch out...it kind of tickles.

Them are some good looking fingerprints!