Playing alone

     One of the joys of our family design--the only child of a single parent---is that not only do I fulfill the role of parent/teacher/protector/cook/maid/nurse/chauffeur/party planner/press agent/human napkin, I am also my son's primary playmate. Although, he gets plenty of social stimulation at school, we have struggled with initiating play at home and being able to play alone. Aka, I've learned how to zoom cars with my feet on the kitchen floor while making dinner. 

     BUT, it seems we have turned a bit of a corner. In the last week, Isaac has decided that he can indeed pick something to do (that isn't i-pad related) and play by himself happily for more than an hour. The first couple of times he did it, I rushed to get as much done as possible, but then he was still playing quietly when I was done.  I seriously didn't know what to do. I literally just stood there wondering 'now what?!"  

Putting on his own puppet show

I am both proud and embarrassed by this particular game.

Preparing for a dinner party??

Sneaking a visit to the water maker

Everything in a 5 foot radius was wet. :)

Taking some notes.

Ekkk, those little hands!

I'm not sure how long it will last, but for however long...the dishes are done, the meals are made, the laundry is folded, the pantry is cleaned out, the shelf is fixed, the photos are downloaded, I found the insurance card and the blanket I've been meaning to knit has been started. Whew!

Let Us Not Hinder

(This is our August post over at No Hands But Ours!)

"And they were bringing children to Him so that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw this, He was indignant and said to them, “Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” And He took them in His arms and began blessing them, laying His hands on them." Mark 10:13-16 (NASB) (Same in Matthew 19 & Luke 18)

Most of us are pretty familiar with this scripture passage. It's probably one we have tattooed on our mental "ADOPTION ROCKS" file folder.  Jesus loves the children! We love the children! We teach the children to love Jesus! Hallelujah!

But honestly...it's a passage that always kind of bothered me (GASP. Beware of lighting strike). As a church culture I think we half roll our eyes at 'those silly disciples--what were you thinking you goof balls?" and quickly turn our attention to a romanticized picture of angelic, perfectly dressed & behaved children sitting patiently at the foot of Christ. (*major eye roll*) COME ON.  These are kids we are talking about and in a time without chicken nuggets or in-door plumbing. One hundred bucks says at least nine of those angelic children had a goober on them somewhere...and a mother in the crowd frantically wiping jelly off her Sunday robe. Hardly a picture version King James would approve of.

I've read commentary on this passage that says the disciples felt that children were too insignificant to be allowed to interrupt the work of Christ. I suppose that could be true, BUT on multiple occasions throughout the Gospels it was the disciples who brought Jesus to children who needed His healing touch. (The nobleman's son was healed in John 4; the daughter of a ruler was restored to life in Matthew 9; the young boy in John 6 who offered his five loaves and two fishes was brought freely to the Lord by the disciples; a demon possessed boy was healed in Luke 9). In fact, in Mark 9, just one chapter before the disciples rebuked the "perfectly angelic" children, Jesus took a small child from among his followers and set him on his lap, “Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me, receives not Me buy Him who sent Me” (Mark 9: 37). Apparently, those children were significant enough. What made them different from those seeking his presence in Mark 10?

I think the disciples followed their humanness--like we ALL do, and they brought to the Lord what was comfortable in their own hearts: the nobleman's son; the ruler’s daughter; etc. But the children in Mark 10...? What made them unworthy or uncomfortable in the disciples’ eyes? Were they the poor or unkempt children? Maybe their Sunday-best were the clothes they had worn all work, well worn & dirty. Were they the children with physical disabilities that maybe took up more space and time? Were they the children with intellectual or developmental delays that kinda need to do their own thing sometimes? Maybe the ones that have difficulty managing themselves in new or large situations? Maybe they were the children who were physically or emotionally unable to follow traditional social rules and instructions. Maybe they were the kids that make us uncomfortable in our own church circles…not because we don’t want to love them, but because we don’t know how. And if we are really honest, sometimes taking care of ‘those types of people’ (children and adults alike) forces us out of our comfortable pew just to the left of the heating/AC vent where we like to worship God…without being disturbed. Is our comfortable ignorance keeping these precious yet uncomfortable-children from the sweet embrace of their Savior?

No, I don’t think the disciples believed children were insignificant. I think maybe THESE kids were harder for the disciples to love and they just didn’t know what to do; and what they did do hindered the children’s access to the Lord. That angered the Son deeply. Lets make sure we don't do the same.

Special needs ministry in churches is a huge need. The Christian Orphan Movement means more and more children from difficult backgrounds (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) are waiting at the doors of the American church.  If we as disciples of Christ are not proactively ushering these sweet ones to the heart of the Father, then we are, by default, hindering them.  

There are SO MANY amazing ways to meet children with special needs and their families where they are at. There are formal access ministries like Able Church and Camp Daniel. There are also structured curriculum resources available from Joni Erickson Tada and the Key Ministry to name a few. (There are some other links below). If your church or congregation is looking to build an official ministry these are all good places to start.  But informal outreaches are equally as necessary. My home church does not have a specific special needs ministries but each of the family resources below we've taken full advantage of!

Up front on Kids Sunday
(The only child facing the wrong direction...)

• A quiet or low-stimulation room ("nursing" mother's room) for either parent to participate in worship and/or sermon and safely watch their child(ren) who may be not be able to involve themselves in Sunday school.
• Providing first access to a family style restroom, or augmenting 'baby' changing stations to accommodate a larger child.
• Livestreaming or podcast technology that allows families that need to stay home (or are in the newly adopted cocooning stage) to participate in worship and Word from the comfort of their couch.
• Kids church teachers & volunteers that ASK how to best meet a child's needs. A class room that meets stimulates needs? Basic sign language? Snack/texture changes? Triggers to avoid? Encouragement to give?
• Special training for high schoolers/young adults to be Sunday School Buddies.
• Providing kids church curriculum & crafts to take home if the traditional classroom is not suitable for the child.
• Emphasizing a family's primary ministry is to their children and releasing a parent (or both) from regular ministry 'duties'. 

These are examples of simple accommodations that loudly declare "you & your child are valued here in any way you come." I'm sure this was the heart that Jesus was looking for in his disciples in Mark 10.  Not gatekeepers of the Gospel, but ushers that say "Jesus is right this way. Let me take your hand and show you the way."

"We urge you dear brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone" (1 Thes 5:14)

SPECIAL NEEDS MINISTRY RESOURCES

The Able Church         http://ablechurch.us 

Camp Daniel                http://www.campdaniel.org 

Key Ministry                http://www.keyministry.org

The Inclusive Church   https://theinclusivechurch.wordpress.com/

LifeWay Ministries      http://www.lifeway.com/n/Ministries/Special-Needs

Joni & Friends              http://www.joniandfriends.org/education-and-training/

Children's Ministry Magazine  http://childrensministry.com/articles/special-needs-no-child-left-behind/

The Cast Is Gone!

It's been four weeks since Isaac's cast went on. I was a little concerned about how he would function with it (honestly, how he would weal his personal weapon), but he did AWESOME. He did not have one issue with the cast for the entire month. He showed it off to his friends but made sure no one touched it (only Momma). Not once did he stick anything down there, but would laugh hysterically if I put my fingers down the top to give him a little scratch. He worked hard to keep it clean, wiping it off with his personal wipes after every meal. And he even learned to put on the cast bag by himself before baths or playing at the beach. AND...not once did he use it as a weapon!  I am so proud of my little guy!

There wasn't much that stopped him while wearing a cast:

Chamber's Bay

Playing in the yard

Digging at the beach

Our check-up this morning showed full healing of the fracture so the cast is OFF. I brought 13 different distractions to avoid any cast-saw meltdowns, but of course Isaac did awesome, even helping take the cast off at the end (I don't know why I bother to worry about any of the typical kid stuff with him):

Elmo got his cast off today too. ;)

We celebrated by filling up the swimming pool and running around in the sprinkler...no heavy cast, no cast bag, no broken bones. Running free and having a good time.

We now return to our regularly scheduled summer!

Happy Family Day---THREE Years Together As A Family!

You know that feeling of waking with the vague memory of a dream? The details are foggy but the emotion of whatever took place through the night leaves an indelible mark in your day. You can try to conjure up the particulars, but all you can really come up with is that 'it' happened, whatever 'it' is.   That is what the memory of Gotchya Day feels like to me. I know it happened...but did it really?  Three years ago, I fell asleep alone in my own bed, then there was a plane and a Wall and a teeny-tiny little boy and an underground Walmart (I totally remember the Walmart!) and then I woke up this morning with a preschooler taking up the entirety of my bed...sideways. There is a size 7 foot in my armpit, but there is also the OVERWHELMING love I have for this child. That love came from somewhere before the dream but it has grown immensely in three years.  Immensely.  I am so very happy that adoption is NOT a dream. I want to remember every detail of our lives together.

Gotchya Day. August 12, 2012

Isaac woke up excited to watch VegiTales this morning (he calls it "Tuba"...Larry the cucumber plays the tuba in the opening credits) and he is currently munching on his favorite breakfast: crisp bacon and honey-buttered toast. We'll take our time getting ready this morning, go to talking class (speech therapy) then go into International District for our favorite Chinese food. It'll be wildly different than our first meal together...lukewarm congee in a strange hotel room at 9:30 at night (uggggg). I'll tell him again how much he is loved and wanted and how God put us together as a family perfectly. And we'll probably have fruit popsicles on the couch while watching Wheel of Fortune like we do nearly every evening before bed. From the outside today may look like any other day off together, but it is not. It's our Family Day; the anniversary of our family birth and a day to celebrate God's redemption in BOTH our lives.

Here is a video capturing our third year together:

Family Field Trip

Isaac and I played hooky today, kidnapped Auntie Jessie and the cousins and spent the day at Remlinger Farms--a local-ish kids amusement park. The weather was perfect. The kids did great and the moms got to laugh it up in the front seats. (*maniacal laugh* If the tiny humans only knew what we really talk about!)

Two moms, four cousins

We have seriously cute children!

Two handsome cousin-boys

A couple of  train riders

Boating boys

My little cowboy

Ellie & Isaac rode the Ferris wheel around SIX times! 

What is it with cousins who ride roller coasters??

They had a blast!

Having fun on the flying pumpkins (...just before they nearly became vomit pumpkins)

Opposite of Unhindered Jumping

Sooooo....remember that blog post about four days ago about jumping? And I was all "it's so cute, my boy jumps; he has springs in his legs". But I had the good sense to channel my mother for a nanosecond and say "Mercy child! What's with all the jumping? Don't you know you could get hurt?"  'Member that?

Guess who jumped off the jungle gym at school and broke his arm??

 

                    Gravity: 1

        Left olecranon process: 0

 

 Turns out gravity isn't as cool in a pile of rocks at the bottom of the monkey bars. Poor guy.

 

 

Isaac did AWESOME!
A VERY old Sesame Street episode on YouTube featuring a broken wrist and getting a cast on/off helped us prep for our big day.

 

 

 

Seems Elmo had the same injury and felt SO MUCH better when he was brave and got a cast on his owie too.

 

We'll spend the next month avoiding swimming pools and jungle gyms and maybe have a chat or two about gravity. Never too early for a physics lesson right? Boys...I tell ya.

 

 

 

 

Unhindered Jumping

(This is our July post over at No Hands But Ours!)

We have recently hit the developmental milestone of JUMPING in our household. I knew this would come at some point and we've been practicing for a couple of years, but his legs have finally seemed to figure it out...and now they won't stop! He jumps on the bed. Jumps on the couch. Jumps off the steps. Climbs onto the dresser and jumps off that too. He'll even jump from the floor while standing still. For a child who is supposed to have significantly low muscle tone, he suddenly grew springs in his legs! 

Promoting such skill in kiddos with low tone is encouraged because it helps build confidence and strength. I suppose that is one of the (many) perks of special needs parenting, I can not only turn a blind eye to "disruptive activity" (gargling at the dinner table, for example), I can actually encourage it! (it helps with oral motor control & speech therapy). The jumping though, has been an interesting one to manage, because I'm the one he jumps TOWARD, ON, TO and THROUGH, laughing through his entire flight. And rarely does he tell me he is about to defy gravity. More than once I've been capsized while putting on my shoe by a 4 year old flying from the steps above. Or been tackled to the floor by a giggly little boy inbound from the edge of something more than 39 inches high. After one particularly eventful soaring, I channeled my mother with a "Mercy child! What's with all the jumping?"

It's fun of course, but the truth is: he jumps...because he knows I'll catch him.  It's that simple. He is so assured of my presence, he has no fear.  No doubt. NONE. His confidence absolutely does not waiver. It is impressive. And it makes my heart happy that we have bonded so well. But seriously, where does that level of trust come from? Doesn't he understand he could get hurt?!

The fact is, I don't have that kind of faith. I question. I analyze. I plan ahead. I keep a contingency plan carefully tucked away, just in case. When God says JUMP, I automatically scan the horizon for pitfalls and backup plans. (It's a skill, I tell ya!)  I wonder if Peter did the same thing when the Lord called him out into the water?  Even as Jesus was still speaking, was Peter aware of the whipping wind against his cheek and the crash of the waves on his back while he balanced himself in the boat? Did he mentally calculate how far it was to shore and recall his best childhood swim time at Galilean Junior Fisherman camp? Did he hesitate at all??  Or, did he look deeply into the eyes of his Savior...and jump out of the boat?

I want so desperately to be THAT Peter; the Peter that didn't pick up the burden of consequences or contingency plans when obeying God's call, especially in the adoption life. The Peter that flew out of the boat not even aware of the waves below him because he was solely focused on Who was there to catch him. If that was the Peter that left the boat, his heart must have been filled with SO MUCH sweet joy. The same unburdened joy I hear in the boyish giggle bounding off the toy box and onto the couch.

We each struggle with obedience and faith in our own ways--I'm sure not so differently. I wonder how much more we would see the Lord move in our adoption lives if we focused not on the hesitation of jumping, but the joy of the flight and landing safely in our Savior's arms? That's some unhindered faith! The old words echo well, O for grace to trust Him more.

 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
and to take him at his word;
just to rest upon his promise,
and to know, "Thus saith the Lord."

Refrain:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I've proved him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!

  O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
just to trust his cleansing blood;
and in simple faith to plunge me
neath the healing, cleansing flood!
(Refrain)

  Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
just from sin and self to cease;
just from Jesus simply taking
life and rest, and joy and peace.
(Refrain)

  I'm so glad I learned to trust thee,
precious Jesus, Savior, friend;
and I know that thou art with me,
wilt be with me to the end.
(Refrain) 

Summer Vacation: Part 2

A summer vacation would not be completed without meeting up with the BFF and my niece & nephew. Ange and I repeatedly discuss our parenting goals as we raise our tribe together & apart. A few of the major themes that guide our YESES in parenting are: 1. Does is serve Jesus & others? 2. Does it focus on relationships?  3. Does it make memories? So, after our super fun weekend with the Bamboo families we started our memory-making-relationship trip BFF style. A little cabin in the woods of south-central Wisconsin was our home base while we explored the area attractions with the kids in tow.

 

Road trip!

 

It's official!

Isn't that precious?!

Xander figured out how to sign 'ice cream' to Isaac...which is basically the only communication you need when you are 3 & 4 years old.

My niece, the rock-fireplace-wall climbing champion!

The purpose of this photo was to show our adorable sons in their super cute matching Olaf shirts, because excellent mothers plan their sons' matching vacation clothes months in advance ...but mostly it just shows two preschoolers on their matching ipads.

RIDING THE DUCKS:

On land...

On water...

ENJOYING A WATER SHOW:

WATER PARK TIME:

Enjoying the lazy river again.

Splashing fun!

ALL three looking forward with some effort toward smiling = SUCCESS

Someone is not happy with this photo...
At one point, Ange was carrying two large double tubes up a hill to a water slide manning a toddler between her legs, I had one large double tube and a preschooler on my hip and the 7 year old was running between us both. I strained my neck back to her to say "This is the stuff that makes us good moms, right?!"  Gosh, I sure hope so!!

Jaelyn!

Xander!

Isaac did several of the 'big' slides all alone and you can see he was quite proud of himself!!

Those two yahoos went on a super crazy rollercoaster of death while...

...while the three more intelligent members of the family stayed on planet Earth...where God wants us.

The two most important photos:

Focusing on relationships.

Making memories!

We had a really good vacation. We met up with old-new friends. We got to see the fruit of God's work through adoption. We spent time focusing on relationships and we certainly made A LOT of memories. We went home both tired and rejuvenated, a little sunburned and excited for the rest of our summer.