The Wait...the horrible party of the adoption journey after all the paperwork is done and before you actually know when you are going to meet your child. It's awful. There is literally nothing you can do to propel the process forward...you just wait.
The Wait with Isaac was particularly hard. The month I expected to travel to China came and went, then three more months came and went. Somewhere in the middle of it all a bleeding ulcer came...and didn't go. It wasn't necessarily about getting my baby in my arms, it was knowing WHEN I was going to have my baby in my arms.
This Wait has been different. Being able to focus on Isaac has been a huge distracting blessing. I find myself snuggling him a little longer knowing he won't have my undivided attention soon, and that my girl hasn't had momma-snuggles--maybe, somehow I can make up for that by squeezing Isaac a little bit longer. I've also had a long To Do list of things to get ready before my Sweet Girl comes home...which hasn't necessarily decreased the nesting! Good heavens. The closets are CLEAN. The new office area is ORGANIZED...I'm talking label-maker level organized. ie: I desperately want to show off the choir of angels that burst forth when you open the new cabinets..but I also know you'll probably roll your eyes at me so you'll just have to trust me.
Outside of getting my OCD-on, I've had the month of June to hold on to throughout our whole journey. The first conversation I had with our adoption agency focused on the small window of time we'd be able to travel to pick up my girly: a two month window between letting both my boy AND girl finish their school year and when the entire Albanian government shuts down for an entire 4 weeks effectively halting any adoptions currently in process. We've been so focused on hitting that window that my poor international social worker starts every phone call with "Hey Desiree! We are still on track for June. Here is the newest update..." God bless'm. Even now as we are barreling down into June, I have been so thankful for the gift of knowing WHEN...the lining of my stomach is definitely thankful.
Both Waits have been a sweet time to hear from the Lord. During Isaac's Wait, He showed me how Jesus is even now waiting to bring US home; His heart both breaking for those still denying Him and bursting with joy for all those who will be in His arms soon. I'm pretty certain Jesus doesn't get ulcers, but the dichotomy seems ulcer worthy. This time, the Lord keeps bringing me back to the parable of workers in the vineyard (Matthew 20: 1-16). Do you remember that one? The workers that only worked an hour in the vineyard get paid the same as the workers who labored all day? I've tried to brain my way through the parable, but my heart keeps hearing: it's never too late. His promises are the same for my girl as they are for my boy. Spending 13 years in an orphanage and all the baggage that may include doesn't decrease the hope she has in Him. She is worthy of being pursued, of being given full access to the Lord's table. In fact, her one hour of labor in the vineyard is vital to the Kingdom of God. It's NEVER too late.
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