Birth Mothers Day 2019

Isaac and I have spent the last 6 years visiting the Chinese park near our house on Birth Mother's Day. We bring flowers and he runs around the park with an abandon that he doesn't have at other parks. I think he knows it's his special place. I really struggled this year with how to integrate both cultures of my children in honoring their first mothers. There isn't a heck of a lot of Albanian cultural references hanging around the Pacific Northwest, you know? I went as far as to check if there was a statue of a man on a horse anywhere near by...something that could represent the giant statue of Skenderbeg on his horse in downtown Tirana.  Nope. Tacoma is desperately shy of horse statues (we do have an overload of metal fish attempting to swim in fountains though, which was of no help).  So I settled on visiting Isaac's Chinese park with my two kiddos and a picnic lunch of Greek-as-Albanian-as-we-can-get favorites of Mila's. 

I don't think either of my goofballs truly understands why we walk through this exercise every year, but I want them to know their first mothers and the women who cared for them before I arrived are special; they are worthy of honor. And even if it is just this mother's heart carrying the love of all of those women on this day, I suppose it is a worth while tradition to have. 

Isaac's first momma: I think I've come to terms with our relationship. Maybe its simply the time that I've had to process who you may be and how I came to be your son's mother, but I did grieve hard for you the first year. I so desperately want you to know that he is safe, he is loved, he is healthy and thriving and I'm sure his sense of humor would absolutely crack you up every day like he does me. He is my delight. I want you to know that.

Mila's first momma: My heart breaks for you differently. I know your name and some details of what you look like. I know the tragic story of how your daughter came to be mine. I don't think a momma ever really heals from the loss of a child, but I suspect your hurt is deep. In many ways I am scared to bring you up with our daughter, as if somehow that would stir the pain on your side of the world too. Where ever you are, know that she is alive and healthy and becoming a fine young lady. The Sisters took wonderful care of her and I am doing my best to follow in their foot steps. That little extra chromosome that caused so much fear at her birth hasn't stopped her from living life.  She is stubborn and sassy and smart and wonderfully social. She makes friends so very easily; people don't have to be scared of Down syndrome when she is around. Your heart can rest at ease...she is safe. She is loved.