For the last several years on 9/11, I've been jotting down my memories of my experiences of that day in 2001. I was 2,800 miles from planes crashing and people dying, but the fear that reverberated to the West Coast was tangible. Growing up, my family didn't know anyone directly impacted by the attacks on Pearl Harbor, but my grandfather did survive the labor camps in Germany. The letters he wrote to me in the 4th grade when I asked him about his experiences (unbeknownst to me it was a taboo topic within The Family) were priceless and have been a gift to the entire side of my mother's family. I started jotting my memories because someday my kids or grand nieces & nephews will have a school project and remember "Auntie Des said something about 9/11 once, let's ask her" (And Future Desiree will very much thank me for doing all the work while the noggin is still firing on all cylinders).
Let's never forget.
I was a 24 year old trauma RN at the pediatric hospital on 9/11. The first plane had already hit before I left for work. The second plane hit while I was doing morning rounds. When the Pentagon was hit my supervisor found me and boldly but quietly whispered in my ear..."get as many kids out of here as possible. The Navy has deployed ships out of Bremerton (local navy base). Expect mass causalities. You aren't going home for a few days so call whomever you need to now." I wont ever forget the sound of her nursing shoes on the pergo floors as she walked away.
We ended up being far from any disaster and I was home within 24 hours but I don't know that I'll ever have the vocabulary to describe the core rattling uncertainty of that day.
**********
There are two sounds I won't forget surroundings the days of 9/11...
The first, the voice of Peter Jennings of ABC news. He was my chosen trusted media personnel and seemed the most engaged and sensitive to the horror we were all finding out about together as a nation. I remember during one live broadcast he turned around and yelled at his staff behind the scenes for being too loud. "I need to talk to the people (pointing frantically at the camera) None of us know what's going on!".
The second...the deafening quiet in the skies. I didn't realize how numb you become to airplanes and helicopters above you until they are gone. When flights resumed, I was in the Costco parking lot when I saw/heard the first plane fly overhead and I literally shuttered at the noise. So loud.
***********
Our worlds shut down FAST. It wasn’t the political gong show that has been the COVID “shut down” in 2020. It was one giant unified scream that everything needs to stop, we aren’t safe. It was almost as if everyone actually had listened to the safety brief at the beginning of a flight...secure your own mask then help the people around you. And we did. We walked around with numb faces, 1000% unable to process but we helped each other and made sure strangers were cared for, especially the ones who didn’t look like us. No one was throwing a fit for their individual rights, we were literally giving each other hugs. I’m sure there were whiney idiots among us (they are always somewhere) but they got ostracized fast. It wasn’t the time. It was the unity that was impressive. A respectfulness for the pain & grief that needed to take place. Sports cancelled. Comedy shows cancelled. Returning to normal wasn’t rushed. We all just understood the events of this day changed EVERYTHING and we needed time to take care of each other.
**********
I didn't grow up in a military family. My immigrant-mother was very clear to teach us to place our hands over our hearts (and to cry!) when the National Anthem was played at a ballgame or an event, but I was otherwise raised without an emotional connection to active duty, military veterans or flag protocol. The fall of 2001, my brother's college buddy was staying in our basement before entering the Air Force. On 9/12, my dad had hung a regulation size American flag from the deck facing the street. (On 9/13, my brother's buddy told him he had hung it up side down). I don't recall how long the flag stayed up, but it joined a parade of flags draped over homes and decks and garages that I had never seen display a flag before. It felt like a weird patriotic camaraderie of strangers declaring "I'm not the bad guy. It's not me. I didn't do it". It also provided an opportunity for me to ask a question of a armed forces member in fatigues in the local Walmart---"Excuse me, sir? Why is the flag on your arm backwards?" He looked me boldly in the face: Because THIS flag, runs INTO battle. It was then I understood the flag from the deck.
Search Results
Main Results
Where were you when the world stopped turnin'That September day?Were you in the yard with your wife and childrenOr workin' on some stage in L.A.?Did you stand there in shock at the sight of that black smokeRisin' against that blue sky?Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighborOr did you just sit down and cry?
Did you weep for the children, they lost their dear loved onesPray for the ones who don't know?Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubbleAnd sob for the ones left below?Did you burst out with pride for the red, white, and blueAnd the heroes who died just doin' what they do?Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answerAnd look at yourself and what really matters?
I'm just a singer of simple songsI'm not a real political manI watch CNN, but I'm not sure I can tell youThe diff'rence in Iraq and IranBut I know Jesus and I talk to GodAnd I remember this from when I was youngFaith, hope, and love are some good things He gave usAnd the greatest is love
Where were you when the world stopped turnin'That September day?Teachin' a class full of innocent childrenOr drivin' down some cold interstate?Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor?In a crowded room did you feel alone?Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her?Did you dust off that Bible at home?
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happenedClose your eyes and not go to sleep?Did you notice the sunset for the first time in agesAnd speak to some stranger on the street?Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrowGo out and buy you a gun?Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watchin'And turn on I Love Lucy reruns?Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangersStand in line to give your own blood?Did you just stay home and cling tight to your familyThank God you had somebody to love?
I'm just a singer of simple songsI'm not a real political manI watch CNN, but I'm not sure I can tell youThe diff'rence in Iraq and IranBut I know Jesus and I talk to GodAnd I remember this from when I was youngFaith, hope, and love are some good things He gave usAnd the greatest is loveI'm just a singer of simple songsI'm not a real political manI watch CNN, but I'm not sure I can tell youThe diff'rence in Iraq and IranBut I know Jesus and I talk to GodAnd I remember this from when I was youngFaith, hope, and love are some good things He gave usAnd the greatest is love
And the greatest is loveAnd the greatest is love
Where were you when the world stopped turnin'On that September day?
No comments:
Post a Comment