My little family has three simple requirements for vacations; three nonnegotiables and ALL the rest is up for grabs:
1.WARMTH. We live in the amazing Pacific Northwest. I love it here! In spring, summer and fall there is no better place. Buuuutttt....between Thanksgiving and Easter, it's gray and wet and gross. I need to be warm. My kids need to be warm. Vit D is priority come spring break.
2. SWIMMING POOL. My kids are part fish. Somehow that extra little chromosome of theirs was gifted by King Tritan himself. If they are in water they are happy...therefore I am happy. Let's make everyone happy...be warm & swim!
3. ICE CREAM. More specifically gelato. Not sure how it happened but I've raised my children to be desert snobs and while we don't have desert in the home, ice cream is a special treat and gelato is a must on vacations. The unspoken negotiations we three have fallen into is "Let Mom do whatever she wants during the day, see the boring stuff, take all the pictures and she'll get us gelato either before or after we go swimming...everybody wins!".
They aren't wrong.
Spring Break 2022 was awesome! We had a great time in Arizona--soaked in all the sun, became raisins in the lazy river, visited some amazing new places and ate incredible gelato. Surely, that would be relatively easy to replicate by simply popping one state over. Right?!
NO. The answer is ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Spring Break 2023 ended up being an absolute BUST.
DAY 1: We are up early and leave for the airport at 0630. Thankfully, due to a well timed tip from my BFF who was at SeaTac yesterday morning we are able to reserve our TSA screening and skip the line that is now snaking through the entire airport and deep into the parking garage (What in the actual...?!) We just beat the system...clearly that will be the only issue of the trip! NOPE. By the time we sail through TSA, our flight has been cancelled due to lack of crew breaks. Darn it. With the sheer number of people who missed their flights because of the TSA lines, the queue for a Delta agent is significant. It's 45 minutes before I get face to face to someone. The kids are hungry but happy and my bladder should be able to hold on for what should only take 15 minutes to fix. Next flight to Nevada please! BIG NOPE. We are 30min into the flight jenga that includes the current offer of Seattle to Salt Lake to LA to Vegas and we'll arrive in 2 days. ?!?!?! The mere thought of the toll on us three not to mention the missed reservations, national parks we have scheduled to see and lack of sleep, I burst into tears at the Delta flight desk. "I can't do that!" The counter offer was a direct flight to Tuscon--ok but where do we stay, how do we get home?? She looked at my hungry kids quietly sitting on the floor and walked away leaving me with my snotty nose and bursting bladder. Well...now what?! 20min later she returned with three direct flights to our original destination in 7 hours "But don't tell anyone. I had to beg the supervisor and three other people will find out soon that they've been bumped from their flight. Go and have fun with your kids." Um...thanks?!
Bladder emptied. Food secured. We just needed to waste 7 hours in the SeaTac airport (Because leaving and dealing with the TSA line will be it's own nightmare) Enter...the flat escalator!! We played on that thing for the better part of two hours!
2:30pm, we are on an airplane--here we go!!
NOPE.
Flight is delayed due to a critical fuel issue. ?! Um, that sounds bad. "Ladies and gentlemen this should take just a few minutes, sit tight and we'll be off in no time"...said the evil captain as he laughed maniacally as he turned off the mic. Two hours later, we took off. Ugggg. Just get us there, already. (The upside...I got to watch Erin Brochovitch which I hadn't seen in eons. Two thumbs way up. Everyone should add that movie to your rewatch list).
Enter, turbulance. But, not the easy stuff. Full on barf bag, can planes actually fly upside down, oh sweet Jesus make this stop-turbulance. Both Mila and I tossed our cookies in the little paper bag and I burst into tears again. Surely, this can't get any worse.
NOPE.
We land safely (??) or at least alive six hours after our original landing time. The kids have missed another meal and are only 30 min away from bedtime. Get the car, get the food, get to the hotel--that's all we need to do and this nightmare day will be over.
Hi, I'm here to pick up our rental car. "Yep, got you all checked in BUT we ran out of cars so you'll have to wait a few hours until the next set of returns start coming in" NO. NO. NO! I need a car NOW. I don't know what look I gave the nice lady at Thifty, but we had a car in the next 45 min. Whew. Off to the hotel...
Hi, we made it! Here are my kids who are hungry, do you have room service?? Here are my bags, can you take them up for me while I fanagle hungry, tired kids. You wouldn't believe the day we've had! "um, ma'am, we don't have any reservations for you". Sure you do! Here's my ID, my credit card and the reservation number. "yeahhh...we don't have any information on you...oh, look at that, you are at the wrong Hotel, that's the problem". The 16 year old behind the desk was especially pleased with himself. I was the opposite of pleased. Kids, back in the car. Grab the bags, Yup, I know we are all hungry, let's go.
Thirty minutes later, now 2 hours past bedtime, no dinner, and have been traveling for nearly FIFTEEN hours we are passed out in our hotel room. Good lord, tomorrow has to be better.
NOPE.
DAY 2: We wake up grumpy. Everyone is overtired, over hungry and super irritable...somewhat to be expected. We take our time in the morning. Find a local walmart to stock the hotel fridge with sandwhiches and dip (our favorite mayo replacement) and take it easy. I puruse the weather to explain why we are so chilly in Nevada only to see an unexpected cold front has entered the neighborhood. The beatufiul state park we were scheduled to visit is currently experiencing SNOW and the hotel pool is closed due to the weather and incoming wind storm. Hunker down folks...cold and windy for the rest of the week. Ugggg, you've got to be kidding me.
Okay...warmth is out. Swimming is out. We can still do this. We are close enough to Vegas and I've read enough blog posts about What to See in Nevada with Kids, that I shift the plans quickly. Three tickets to Mandalay Bay's Shark Reef Aquarium and a free visit to the Flamingo habitat followed by dinner at the Rainforest Cafe. It'll be an all animal afternoon with regular meals and a normal if not early bedtime. We've got this!
Tired but successful. Let's try Mila's favorite animals, the Telefingo!
The wind was picking up and food was needed. I sought out an employee to ask the best way to get to the restaurant, parking issues, etc. He recommended the monorail. Sure. We are Seattlites, we can navigate a good monorail. NOPE. $30 into tickets seems the monorail only took us two blocks, dropped us into a smoked filled casino and still required a half mile schlep through the Las Vegas strip in the cold and wind (without jackets becuase it was supposed to be an easy monorail ride to the Rainforest Cafe, right?) and now with two angry children, one of which was crying. Just. Get. To. The. Restaurant. All will be well if I can feed everyone an early 3:30 dinner and get us home. NOPE. 2 hour wait at the resturant. Two hours?? at 3:30 in the afternoon?? Who eats at the Rainforest Cafe at 3:30 in the afternoon?! Not us, apparently.
It took us an hour to make it back to the car, skipping the monorail all together to avoid the casino nonesense, essentially dropping $30 in the toilet. Dinner was a cold burger in the hotel lobby and three frustrated travelers. Tomorrow requires a new plan.
DAY 3:
Real feel of thirty-five degrees. Severe wind advisory continues. Snowing in the parks. Pool is definitely not an option. (I even checked local community centers for an indoor pool option--seems that is not a thing in southern Nevada, where it never gets cold. *eyeroll*). Change of plans kids! We'll take advantage of a warm car, layer as much as we can, pack our sandwhiches with dip and take a day trip to Hoover Dam!
I have to admit, this is an impressive hunk of concrete. The kids thought it was so fun to "walk all the way to Arizona" as we crossed over the top.
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