You had a great week at school and responded to your dental surgery AMAZINGLY well. I was prepared to baton down the hatches after your procedure but you surprised me and bounced right back!
I'm learning that your compassion comes when you feel needed, or perhaps when you have the authority to love (if that is a thing). I've asked you a couple of times to do something to help your brother this week, helping with his coat or pushing the stroller or getting into his car seat and you JUMP at the chance to lead with compassion. Maybe Acts of Service is how you show your love? I didn't see it mentioned in your handbook *sarcasm* so you'll have to forgive me for being so slow to figure it out! There have been a couple of times Isaac has needed to apologize to you (for some sort of little brother offense), and his apology often comes in the car. This is what I hear from the front seat:
Isaac: sista? I sorry. (signing sorry at the same time for extra emphasis). Eyyyyeee you (I love you).
You: Oh, I wuv you too. (I can hear the eye rolling from the front seat)
I want to hold on to those little conversations FOREVER <3
There are some areas that I am still desperate to win your trust; to convince you that your heart can lean into mine and I will lead you safely. I bang my head against the wall but apparently you just aren't ready. I was begging the Lord to show me how to help change this when He softly reminded me of even after nearly 40 years of walking with Jesus I too still have areas that I haven't submitted to His Trust; I just don't know if He'll keep me safe; what if He doesn't? I'll need to have my own back up plan; to trust my own instincts; to see with my own eyes. That little heart convo led to my own tears while you were having yours. You and I, Sweet Girl are going to figure this out together while letting Jesus lead us both.
Isaac:
I was so impressed with how well you handled your sedated dental procedure this week. You've had multiple surgeries and procedures and waking up from sedation has always been a nightmare. Your separation anxiety has always been at it's highest when waking up in a strange place surrounded by strange people. I recall being rushed into the PACU after one procedure and six adults holding down your tiny 25 pound panicked body as you were waking up. It was beyond heart breaking. Each procedure since, we've worked to make that post-op time as limited as possible. Fast forward to the last 6 months; emotionally, you've grown tremendously! And this week you easily left my side to go into the operating room and returned to me peacefully. The PACU nurses reported "It was so cute! He opened his eyes, stretched his arms out above his head like he was waking from a good nap and asked 'mom?'. We told him you'd be here soon and he was totally fine.". That is such a big deal!! Well done, buddy. Your heart is growing and feels safe.
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| Fearless riding of the grand carousel rabbit! |
Me:
I was blessed with a couple of deep heart to heart conversations with different adoption friends this week. Oh how I needed that. It's a precious gift to have people who 'speak your language' and who can finish the sentence "God is good, but this is hard" before it fully leaves your lips. I also got to spend some time outside, in the dry, and in the sun. My body (and Vitamin D levels) needed that! Trees, water and sun. That is it's own love language in the Pacific Northwest.
My two goofballs helping me walk this road of faith.
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